Impossible Love
Characters: you x optional (bias)
Genre: angst
Warnings: none (?)
Summary: you thought you were perfect together. You thought you were each other's missing puzzle piece. But were you right tho?
A/n: this is actually an angst of LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP. You can consider it a friend or boyfriend. It also can be read as a real life relationship. i thought about making a LDR angst since they're rare
Your eyes tear up looking at your messages on "Read" after being on "Delivered" for the past five hours. You close your phone and lay on your back on your soft bed, letting your tears run down, wetting your ears. You hate that but you're too numb to dry them.
A month ago you met a guy. First you were just texting and talking, nothing serious. You didn't even call each other friends, it wasn't even that serious. Day by day you got to know each other more, you found out that you both have the same interests, you clicked. You were each other's ideal types. Or at least, that's what you thought. You texted everyday, got more interested in each other. Gave attention to each other. You've told yourself to never fall in love with anyone because of past traumas. This time, it was different. It was difficult. He was everything you've wished for. His personality, his mind, his affection, honesty... You can't describe it all but he was perfect, for you. You secretly started growing feelings for him. Even if you didn't even admit it to yourself, but your heart, deep down, knew it.
After small confessions and attractions, you were unofficially together. It's like an open relationship, that's how you'd name it. You both like each other and you both know it.... Or... Do you? Does he know you like him?
"I mean.... Its obvious, isn't it?" that's what you thought, at least.
Day by day, week by week, you started imagining your life with him, you were happy. You opened your heart to the right person. Finally you can be loved now. He showed you love and support, that no one else ever did. For the first time; you felt loved, truly.
You loved his attention and love. You lived for it. It was your new motivation. It was the reason you'd wake up in the morning to see his "goodmorning" message, and oh, how your heart would melt. Knowing you're someone's priority. You wanted to be in each other's arms. Feel safe and warm in them. But it was nearly impossible. Especially in your young age. You lived far from each other. That's where you spent the day talking with each other, and the night dreaming of each other. You didn't complain. It was painful, but hey, you both are on the same planet at least.
It's been a month or so. you say "goodnight" to each other and go to sleep, dreaming of each other. The next day you wake up, as usually, take your phone to read your favourite message. But there wasn't any messages. You get confused, "did he oversleep? He has school so no. Why didn't he text me?"
You thought he had something going on and that he had a good reason why he didn't text you. So you gave him time. Maybe he's busy and can't text now. You waited for his text. An hour, another, another, but no texts. You decided to text him and he answered. You asked whether he's okay and he said he's perfect. Which confused you more, what's the reason then?
You continue texting him, but you notice how cold he is with you. As if the flame shut down. You feel so confused. You ask him whether there's something wrong but he denies it. You think to yourself that maybe he doesn't want to talk about it. You somehow end the day and say goodnight to each other. The next day the same thing happens, but you decide to text him a goodmorning message. He replies, coldly. You feel your heart ache. That day your conversation was just as dry, the conversation ended with him going to sleep without a goodnight message. You were so sad, you spent the night crying, wondering what did you do wrong.
The next morning he had only answered your previous messages of last night. You felt so broken. Your day was awful. You were so sensitive. You finally decided to break the silence.
"I don't know whether you're going through something or if I've done something wrong but you can tell me, i don't want to force anything" you press "send"
He tells you there's nothing wrong, but adds
"probably there is, but in your head"
You read it over and over again. "Something wrong in... My head?" you stare at the message. After a while you send him: "i won't annoy you anymore...".
Left on seen
Your eyes tear up looking at your messages on "Read" after being on "Delivered" for the past five hours. You close your phone and lay on your back on your soft bed, letting your tears run down, wetting your ears. You hate that but you're too numb to dry them. Wondering, thinking again and again, where did you go wrong. Where did everything go wrong? Did he get bored of you? Did he find someone new? Is he still into his ex?
After sobbing for some time, you get up and sit on your bed. Looking from your big window, at the beautiful night sky with the small lights, called stars and a big light, moon, filling it up.
"maybe he's right... Maybe it's all in my head....there's definitely something wrong in my head, for thinking we ever had something between us. Everything we had was all just in my head"
You felt so stupid, for thinking that you'd be able to replace his ex girlfriend he's told you about. You felt so stupid for thinking that you'd win over someone who he sees in PERSON, in REAL life. Not in a virtual one. You were just fucking... Stupid. It was all in your head.
You take your phone, delete everything about him. Block him. And forget him. This taught you a lesson. Never give a chance to something impossible. Never try to make something impossible turn possible. It's called impossible for a reason. You both knew you wouldn't be able to be together. But you both ignored that fact, you were blinded by the attention you gave each other. And that hurted the both of you.
That night, you also remembered why you never opened your heart to anyone for the past decade. Because in the end, your heart will only ache, think you're the problem and you're just a piece of shit. This was your last straw. Your heart now turned into a rock. Your brain wants nothing to do with your stupid naive heart . You're abandoning your heart, letting your common sense and brain control you. No more pain. That's it. You've cried enough. You knew that softening your heart would be such a mistake, yet you did it. It's time to lock your heart and burn its key. You're never opening it ever again.