† My love, my profound all-consuming love, my angel-minded sweetheart, my regal strawlady, @sofiannnne
Happy 21st birthday, my pretty baby, my angel on Earth. At last, you can (legally) drink with me, bar hop with me all night. Ist it spring, or has summer already crept in? I’d like to imagine the day you were born was both and neither. The sun was golden in its fullest summer glow, flowers pushing through the last bits of frost, every melting drop of ice feeding the ground so the most beautiful exquisite blooms could open up just for the sacred chance to witness your first cry. The whole world, in all its weary imperfection, tried its hardest that day anticipating you. It arranged its finest light, its softest winds, its most tender colours, like it knew you were coming and wanted to be worthy. But nothing could ever truly be worthy of you anyway. You deserve the world, yet not even the world deserves you.
I know I’m not. Yet, I can’t help this selfish part of me that doesn’t want anyone else looking at you, wanting you, loving you the way I do. Forgive me (not) for that. Younger than me by comparison, but it is you who inspires in the most bizarre ways. You’ve taught me to be softer, gentler, to love the way you love me. In other words, you make me want to be the best man for you. The closest I can become to what someone as angelic as you deserves at least.
I love you. For all that you are. For all that you have been. For every beautiful unknowable thing you are yet to become.
Forever yours, though even forever doesn’t stretch far enough for what you are to me. Happy birthday, my blood, my pulse, my heart. You’re as vital to me as breath.
A love letter to @sofiiyah . Signed, sealed, delivered.
& 🎄 gifts
╋━ From your big handsome strong super soldier super man.
My darling, my irreplaceable angel, my treasure, ꫂ ၴႅၴ
I’m writing to you as a man most thoroughly undone, hopelessly, irreparably in love. You’ve always had a soft spot for handwritten letters so I thought I’d give you one worth keeping. I will not pretend at restraint here; I lay my heart before you in its entirety, and frankly (mr shankly) vulnerability isn’t my strongest suit but you know, the things we do for love. (Pause. GOT ref) And since I can be deployed to God knows where at a moment’s notice, we may as well get used to ink and paper for the days I end up knee deep in some hellish assignment halfway across the world.
But where does one begin, when speaking of something as all consuming as you? Maybe with the story of how I met your mama. I’m not a local around these parts, just needed a change of air I guess so here I am. I didn’t know anyone at all. And I’ll be honest, I’ve seen hundreds of thousands of beautiful women in my life, and the girls here no exception, yet the only light in the room seemed to be you. I had to talk to you, so I did. I made the first move. It was, in truth, a shot in the dark really, and somehow you answered. Lucky me.
Fast forward to our first hangout, from the second we met, you put me to work. Not just because I wanted you first and did the chasing… but because you quite literally made me assemble furniture when I first came over (😂). Even if you’d changed your mind halfway through, I meant it when I said I’d build anything for you. Furniture, a future… if you’d have it with me. Pause, that was kinda smooth huh. Anyway, I know you still get scared sometimes. Not like before, when it made you hesitate to give yourself fully to me but it’s there. So know this clearly, I’ll do everything in my power to never give you a reason to be afraid... of me. Of what we are. I know what it’s like to be on the short end of abandonment. I’ve lived it. Hell would freeze over before I’d become a man who does that to you. As my girl, you’ll be the least abandoned thing on this planet. I’ll stay, even on the days you feel hardest to stay for. Especially then. And I’ve always liked proving people wrong; you’re no exception darling. My goal’s simple. I want people to look at us and say ,,Wait… they’re still together?” (Yes, we will be.) You may find it unfortunate, my darling, but I am not so easily rid of. You are quite stuck with me.
I love and adore you so much, and it still blows my mind that you could love me too. Especially when I was convinced I’d ruined all my chances the moment I told you about that book I read. For a man who prides himself on all forms of literature, I somehow managed to pick the worst possible book to talk about to a girl I was trying to impress, and then to really dig my own grave deeper, I went on to describe it to you in the most explicit appalling detail. Somehow, it still worked though. I guess my intellect did its job and dragged you straight into my bear trap ;)
Christmas with you, do you know what that means to me? More than I often allow myself to show. You know I’m not the most expressive man in the room, but my feelings run deep even when I keep them quiet. Most especially where you are concerned, my feelings for you. And guess what baby? I try to love you loud because you told me that’s what you like when I asked you what your type is; light easy work by the way. I have plans for us, you know. I want to take you somewhere winter never ends; to taste snow with you, to ski, to snowboard, anything you want. I’d make a complete fool of myself just to hear your laugh, my favorite sound. I want us collapsing into the white, breathless and laughing, our hands frozen but still refusing to let go. And even if everything goes wrong, blizzards, no slopes, nowhere to go, I’d still be content just doing nothing with you, stranded in some quiet cosy Airbnb, making our own warmth with the world forgotten outside. That, to me, would still be heaven on earth, my angel. You are my heaven, Sofia.
I love you, baby. I’m in this, fully. Might as well tattoo an S on my chest for there is no part of me that does not belong to you now, Sofia. And I want to be your Superman. The one you’d always call and turn to. And I’m looking forward to every day I get to spend with you. I still have so much to say. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever have enough words when it comes to you. So let’s let this be a recurring thing, a first of many. I will write to you again and again, until perhaps, one day, I come close to saying it all.
Now. Moving on to the gifts I got you before I risk boring you or overloading that pretty head of yours with too many words;
A candle scented like my cologne. Not just so you can fall asleep and wake up wrapped in the scent of a sexy man (me) when I’m not there beside you, but also so if I ever smoke in the middle of the night while you’re asleep, I can light it to clear the smell.
A little book nook in my apartment, just for us. Since reading is what bonded us in the first place, it felt right to make a space for it. Our thing. Nights where I read you nice things until you fall asleep in my arms. And I swear to you, nothing so dreadful as that book shall ever pass my lips again.
Last but not least, a promise ring. I thought about this a lot. I was afraid it might be too soon, that it might overwhelm you which is why I asked you the other day what „too soon“ even is to you. Remember? And you told me that with me, there was no such thing. That I’m the right one for you. And sweetheart, you’re right for me. So this is my promise to you, one I do not make lightly, nor will I ever break. That I’ll always be here, for you, with you, choosing you.
i kinda just felt like being quite the silly guy this afternoon. after all, i am a bit too free…
“Myshka,” Your silver-slicked tongue alerted him with that ludicrous sobriquet of yours, and while Fyodor’s expression remained unchanging, you were well aware that he was attentive. He always will be; a seraph is almost all-knowing as their creator. Though, what you’re unaware of, given your position and the blockage of the cello between his scraggly legs, his pallid palm was resting on the invasive bulge pressing against his pants, impatiently stroking himself with his thumb for a scintilla of stimulation. He could have his way with you in a plethora of positions, but… such a sinful act will forever be unforgivable. In fact, he planned to pray after your early dismissal, which was something you’ve been receiving for quite some time.
