#maltheism

[theotherhappyplace]

characters finding out they are fictional and being upset about it: fine.

characters finding out they are fictional AND DEMANDING SEVERAL IMPORTANT EDITS: fun.

if i found out i was fictional i'd be like "SO THERE'S SOMEONE I CAN COMPLAIN TO ABOUT ALL THIS??"

*grabbing my creator by the collar*

WHERE IS MY CHARACTER SHEET YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH

[twitterexile]

[fortheloveofgarythain]

Reasons why there can't possibly be a loving and almighty god and why all religions (especially christianity) are evil cults:

1. Unit 731.

[stainlesssteellocust]

I wonder why I figured this setting would work well with tlf

[kyliaquilor]

Anxiety is evidence for the case against the existence of a loving god.

[thecreaturecodex]

Friedrich the Profane

"Gluttonous" © Lennart Verhoeff, accessed at his ArtStation here

[The basic concept of this NPC--a demodand who writes to discredit the gods--has been kicking around in my head for at least a decade. But the name, and the title of his most notorious tome, are recent innovations. I just read a book about the Treatise of the Three Imposters, a book that existed for centuries as a rumor and slander before actually being written. It was originally used as a rhetorical weapon by Pope Gregory IX against Emperor Fredrick II, hence the name of our villain for today. ]

Friedrich the Profane CR 20 CE Outsider (extraplanar) This humanoid creature has sharp teeth and bat-like wings. Its skin appears to be bleached and fits poorly on its obese frame—it has torn away in some places, and hangs in flaps in others. It wears a set of simple robes and carries a long iron rod, which it uses like a walking stick.

Friedrich the Profane is a powerful demodand who has taken an intellectual approach to the demodand’s quixotic quest to overthrow the gods. He is an author of great skill, and has written many tracts and discourses designed to convince their readers that the gods are not worthy of worship, being frauds and exploiters of the highest order. His masterpiece is the Treatise of the Three Imposters, which argues that the Test of the Starstone is a trap designed to kill anyone powerful enough to challenge the gods. Iomedae, Cayden Cailean and Norgober are the titular three imposters, who were granted divine power directly by Aroden to maintain the Starstone ruse, and then murdered him in order to cover up their secret origins. Friedrich poured some of his own quintessence into the creation of seven special copies of this book, which warped his body and left him a broken soul. He has seeded six of these copies in Golarion in order to spread mayhem and maltheism, but keeps the seventh copy for himself.

Friedrich now lives in seclusion and semi-retirement. His joints have locked up and his pallid hide is perpetually rent with seeping wounds; he treats his ailments with baths in warm acid and by sewing his skin in place. His manor is an imposing, gothic structure carved into the cavern walls of Sekatar-Seraktis in the Abyss, trusting to the war-torn nature of that plane to keep away intruders. He maintains a small household staff of lesser demodands, but despises the company of all other creatures. Friedrich the Profane walks with an iron rod to assist his movement, which can unlock into a deadly three-section staff should he need to defend himself (or punish an underling).

Treatise of the Three Imposters Although heavily redacted copies of this book can be found in a dozen or so libraries, and more in the ash piles of censors, the seven magical copies of Treatise of the Three Imposters are all currently extant. Any creature that carries a Treatise of the Three Imposters treats the damage reduction and spell resistance of all extraplanar outsiders as if they were five points lower. A creature that actually reads the entire dense text, which takes a total of 48 hours over a minimum of 6 days, gains the heretical soul special ability of a demodand. The book is cursed. Anyone who carries a copy of Treatise of the Three Imposters cannot cast divine spells. Anyone who reads the entire book to gain its benefits can never cast divine spells again, nor gain levels in a divine spellcasting class, unless they receive an atonement spell, followed by a limited wish, wish or miracle spell. Having the curse lifted in such a way removes the heretical soul ability from the creature. CL 20th; School strong abjuration; Weight 5 lbs.

Friedrich the Profane    CR 20 XP 307,200 Broken soul shaggy demodand CE Medium outsider (chaotic, demodand, evil, extraplanar) Init +11; Senses blindsense 30 ft., darkvision 60 ft., detect good, detect magic, Perception +28, see invisibility Defense AC 37, touch 14, flat-footed 25 (+4 Dex, +19 natural, +4 armor) hp 362 (25d10+225) Fort +22, Ref +14, Will +17; +4 vs. divine spells DR 15/good and magic, 5/-; Immune acid, poison; Resist cold 10, electricity 5, fire 10, sonic 5; SR 29 Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 40 ft. (average) Melee +2 unholy sansetsukon +36/+31/+26/+21 (1d10+15 plus 2d6 unholy), bite +29 (2d6+4) or bite +34 (2d6+9), 2 claws +34 (1d6+9) or tortuous touch +34 (2d6 plus 1d6 Dexterity damage) Special Attacks agonized wail, baleful gaze (DC 27), faith-stealing strike (DC 27), torturous touch (DC 27) Spell-Like Abilities CL 20th; concentration +15 (+19 casting defensively) Constant—detect good, detect magic, see invisibility At will—detect thoughts (DC 17), fear (DC 19), gaseous form, greater dispel magic, invisibility (self only), magic circle against good 3/day—empowered cloudkill (DC 20), fog cloud, quickened ray of enfeeblement (DC 16), stinking cloud (DC 18) 1/day—blasphemy (DC 22), chaos hammer (DC 19), mass charm monster (DC 23), summon (level 6, 1d6 tarry demodands or 1d4 slimy demodands 60%) Statistics Str 29, Dex 18, Con 27, Int 21, Wis 16, Cha 20 Base Atk +25; CMB +34 (+36 vs. disarm); CMD 48 (50 vs. disarm) Feats Combat Casting, Combat Expertise, Diehard (B), Empower Spell-Like Ability (cloudkill), Endurance (B), Great Fortitude (B), Greater Vital Strike, Improved Disarm, Improved Feint, Improved Initiative, Improved Vital Strike, Intimidating Prowess, Lightning Reflexes, Power Attack, Quicken Spell-Like Ability (ray of enfeeblement), Toughness (B), Vital Strike Skills Bluff +27, Craft (writing) +30, Diplomacy +27, Fly +22, Intimidate +46, Knowledge (arcana) +30, Knowledge (planes, religion) +33, Linguistics +10, Perception +28, Sense Motive +28, Spellcraft +27, Use Magic Device +27; Racial Modifiers +8 Intimidate Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Infernal, Necril, Senzar, two regional languages SQ heretical soul Gear +2 unholy sansetsukon, bracers of armor +4, Treatise of the Three Imposters, wand of scorching ray (CL 11th, 50 charges), 200 pp, 500 gp Special Abilities Agonized Wail (Su) As a standard action, Friedrich the Profane can emit an agonized wail that inspires terror in those who hear it. All creatures within 120 feet must succeed at a DC 27 Will save or become shaken for as long as they remain within 120 feet of Friedrich. A successful save renders a creature immune to Friedrich’s agonized wail for 24 hours. This is a sonic mind-affecting fear effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Baleful Gaze (Su) Any creature within 60 feet of Friedrich the Profane must succeed at a DC 27 Fortitude save or take 1d4 points of Strength, Constitution, and Charisma drain. Whatever the result of the saving throw, the creature cannot be affected by the same broken soul's baleful gaze again for 1 minute. Demodands are immune to this effect. The save DC is Charisma based. Faith-Stealing Strike (Su) When Friedrich the Profane’s natural attack or melee weapon damages a creature capable of casting divine spells, that creature must make a DC 27 Will saving throw or be unable to cast any divine spells for 1 round. Once a creature makes this save, it is immune to further faith-stealing strikes from that particular demodand for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based. Heretical Soul (Ex) All demodands gain a +4 bonus on saving throws against divine spells. In addition, any attempts to scry on a demodand using divine magic automatically fail. The caster can see the scryed area normally, but the demodand simply does not appear. Treatise of the Three Imposters (Su) By carrying a copy of his cursed tome, Freidrich the Profane is able to treat the spell resistance and damage reduction of all extraplanar outsiders as if they were 5 points lower. Torturous Touch (Su) Friedrich the Profane can make a touch attack to cause hideous, painful wounds to rip open in the target's body. This touch deals 2d6 points of slashing damage and 1d6 points of Dexterity damage, and causes the touched creature to fall prone in a fit of convulsions and be dazed for 1d4 rounds. A successful Fortitude save negates the Dexterity damage and the convulsive fit. The save DC is Charisma based.

[driftlesshuman]

I try to hold my breath as much as I can. My lungs suck anyway because I had a heavy night smoke. I keep drowning and not dying? This is driving me insane. My lungs are filled with water but the Grim Reaper doesn’t visit anyway. I perished before and I came back to life, I remember. Why didn’t I, this time, to demise, surrender? Why did I hold on to life that much? Was it out of love? Was it out of hope? What was I thinking back then? I had the chance to meet the Creator who tore the life He has granted me apart. I had the chance to face Him and tell Him how much He has hurt me; how much believing in a ‘powerful’ Creator, yet too ‘powerless’ to lend me a helping hand, has hurt me. I had the chance; and I didn’t take it for granted. My mistake. I apologize.

[twitterexile]