#masculine nonbinary

[lgbtqiauserboxes]

[queersekai]

haihi could i get uh tmasc or masc nb or something along those lines for toya?

Both, both is good!

PSD by me!

[pupintransit]

Hey folks! My little corner of the internet has been getting a lot of attention lately, so I'll start by saying I appreciate everyone who is leaving comments across here and Bluesky, and to the folks who have been asking me about my experiences. It's rewarding to be able to chat with folks about a trans experience they aren't familiar with, and even to help others on their own journeys. So, thanks <3

I do get a handful of questions more than others though, and I know that not everybody is going to feel comfortable reaching out privately to ask stuff, or will have the time to go through my archive of blog posts to find an answer to what they may be curious about it. To that end, I've decided to write a FAQ about my experience with my gender identity and with my gender affirming surgery. This is a living document and will be updated as we go.

1: WHAT SURGERY DID YOU GET?

I opted for penile-inversion full-depth vaginoplasty, and saw Dr. Brassard at GRS Montreal for the procedure. My care at their site was suberb, and I have absolutely no regrets!

2: ARE YOU ON ANY HORMONES?

Yup! I take testosterone injections once a week. I have no plans to begin estrogen or any other feminizing hormones. The testosterone is to maintain my masculine gender presentation and keep my bones healthy.

3: WHAT IS YOUR BMI?

At the time of surgery my BMI was 37. GRS Montreal had a cap of 40, although most other places hover around 35. Check with your surgical team if they have any BMI or weight restrictions!

4: ARE YOU A TRANS MAN?

Nope! I was assigned male at birth. I used to call myself an AMAB trans masc, and while I think it's still a useful label to describe my experiences, it is (ahem) a touch controversial. I try to avoid introducing myself that way now and opt for simply nonbinary instead.

5: WHY DID YOU GET BOTTOM SURGERY?

For as long as I can remember I hated my penis and testes. They were in the way, they looked so strange being affixed to me, and having/seeing the buldge they created in my pants made me feel like such a creep. Growing up girls made me jealous because they had vulvas, and when I learned what trans men were in my late teens that envy intensified because they essentially had my dream body; a man with a pussy. I was well on my way to thirty before I realized what I was experiencing was dysphoria, and learning that I could do something about it without being femme was an incredible relief. It's easily been the best decision I've ever made.

6: WHAT DOES SEX AND MASTURBATION FEEL LIKE?

I dunno about sex just yet, but I can tell you with confidence that being penetrated with a dildo feels amazing! And don't even get me started on clitoral stimulation, holy shit. It's like everything that isn't your body just vanishes. You become a vessel for sexual pleasure. My penis never made me feel like that, and I don't miss it.

7: CAN YOU ORGASM?

Yup! I feel the same muscles contract that I did when I had a penis, only now it's focused on a smaller area due to how those muscles were rearranged during the surgery. I don't always cum, but when I do it's much thinner than it was with my penis, and doesn't rocket out of me like it used it. Instead it kind of flows out like a river.

8: WHAT WERE THE STEPS TO GET BOOKED FOR SURGERY?

I had to obtain a single surgical readiness assessment (basic informed consent stuff) in addition to getting everything okayed health-wise by my general practitioner and my surgery team. Once the assessment was sent in, my surgical team got in touch and a few back and forth phone calls later I was booked!

Some countries and clinics have different requirements, so this might be universal to your experience. Double check what you need to acquire before making any appointments!

9: WERE YOU ON HORMONES BEFORE SURGERY?

Nope! The new WPATH standards indicate that it's no longer a strict requirement, but having said that some countries and clinics are still picky about it. Double check what those requirements may be for your region before booking anything!

10: WHAT WAS RECOVERY LIKE?

Sucked! A lot! People heal in different ways and I am not remotely qualified to tell people how to avoid or mitigate pain. If you've ever had an invasive surgery before I'd wager it'd be comparable, but that's a question better geared toward your regular doctor.

11: DO YOU STILL DILATE?

Not only do I still dilate, I will have to dilate for the rest of my life. It's not comfortable per se, but the more you heal the easier it gets and the less often you have to do it. It genuinely isn't as big a downside as people think.

12: WHAT KIND OF BOTTOM SURGERY SHOULD I GET?

If you have to ask that means you're not sure if you want this, so the answer is none of them. At least for now. Take the time to unpack why you're considering lower surgery, and see a gender-affirming therapist who can help guide you. While the regret rate for gender affirming care is miniscule at best, it can still happen and you need to be prepared for what you're getting into. This is not an easy decision to make even when it's the correct one, and it's certainly not an easy recovery. "I don't know" isn't good enough.

13. HOW IS PEEING?

It's normal. I was fortunate enough not to experience any complications with urination or my urethra. Apart from being more prone to UTI's than I was with my penis (and having to get using to wiping after peeing) everything went according to plan. Don't take my experience as a given though, because complications can and do happen!

[pfox-pfashion]

Enjoyed the surprise complement of the rust socks against the green shirt 😏

Shirt: Kohl's

Pants: thrifted, tailored by me

Shoes: Johnston & Murphy

🦊🐝

[stormysage99]

I did this meme a while ago for my Pinterest profile.

IDK how that happened. I thought I would be feminine forever.

[mourningmogaicrew]

Dianthian and hydrangian

⚠︎ TW: mentions of trauma, vague mentions of biology, describes what could be misgendering but isn't explicitly stated as such ⚠︎

Dianthian

A term to describe an AMAB nonbinary person who has or desires a feminine gender presentation, and wants to pass as a cis woman. They may have a strong connection to femininity and derive euphoria from their presentation. Their presentation may also be as a coping mechanism to avoid trauma associated with being AMAB/raised as a man.

They don't necessarily use she/her pronouns. They may or may not take estrogen or testosterone blockers, tuck, make their chest larger, be in women's activities/spaces, or legally transition to female. Dianthians do not have a feminine gender identity in any way.

This term may also be used by CTM/raised as men intersex nonbinary people.

The flag has purple for queer experiences, white for being nonbinary, pink for femininity and passing as a cis woman, and dark pink/red for being AMAB/CTM but not a man.

(Flag ID: A flag with 9 horizontal stripes. The stripes are purple, lavender, gray-purple, light pink-gray, light pink, pink, purple-pink, pink-red, and red.)

Inspired by the dianthus barbatus (sweet william) flower, which traditionally symbolizes masculinity but is bright pink. Most people who see this flower without knowing what it is often think of it as a good flower for women. Sometimes this flower will be the color blue. I felt like it represented being AMAB/CTM, but also not being a man, and presenting femininely to the point of passing as a cis woman.

Hydrangian

A term to describe an AFAB nonbinary person who has or desires a masculine gender presentation, and wants to pass as a cis man. They may have a strong connection to masculinity and derive euphoria from their presentation. Their presentation may also be as a coping mechanism to avoid trauma associated with being AFAB/raised as a woman.

They don't necessarily use he/him pronouns. They may or may not take testosterone, pack, make their chest smaller, be in men's activities/spaces, or legally transition to male. Hydrangians do not have a masculine gender identity in any way.

This term may also be used by CTF/raised as women intersex nonbinary people.

The flag has purple for queer experiences, white for being nonbinary, blue for masculinity and passing as a cis man, and dark blue/purple for being AFAB/CTF but not a woman.

(Flag ID: A flag with 9 horizontal stripes. The stripes are purple, lavender, gray-purple, light blue-gray, blue, dark blue, dark blue-gray, blue-purple, and indigo.)

Inspired by the hydrangea macrophylla (bigleaf hydrangea) flower, which traditionally symbolizes femininity but is bright blue. Most people who see this flower without knowing what it is often think of it as a good flower for men. Sometimes this flower will be the color pink. I felt like it represented being AFAB/CTF, but also not being a woman, and presenting masculinely to the point of passing as a cis man.

Hydrangian should not be confused with hydrangean, which is an aesthigender connected to flowers and nature.

Note: a couple days after coining these, I found the terms aboy and agirl, which refer to agender people who like/don't mind being perceived a as boy/girl. Aboy and agirl are both less specific (in terms of AGAB) and more specific (in terms of gender identity) than dianthian and hydrangian. I don't propose classifying the terms together unless it's under the very broad labels of "gender non-conformity" or "nonbinary people presenting as binary".

[beeornotbee]

"I hate it here..."

"I hate it here..."

Ask: “A sherlock (Enola holmes) x reader where the reader is masc nb and gets dysphoric from having to present as a woman so much?”

Summary: Sherlock and [y/n] had to go to some charity ball to talk to Mycroft, and [y/n] hated every second of it (I know that isn't exactly what you asked for, but I still hope that you'll enjoy it <3)

Pronouns: They/Them (except when reader is misgendered)

TW: everything dysphoria, deadnaming, misgendering and oh gods now I feel dysphoric xD

Vocabulary:

[Y/N] - your name

[L/N] - last name

[H/C] - hair colour

[E/C] - eye colour

[D/N] - deadname

Words count: 833

My masterlist

Enjoy!!!

“I hate it here,” [Y/N] thought while nervously playing with their dress, trying to distract themself. Every single rustle of the fabric was too loud, the dress was too bright, there were too many people around them, and Sherlock went to talk with Mycroft and [L/N] was left alone by the food table. And everyone could look at them. See every stressed look on their face, and every rounding of their figure, and their long hair, and…

“You seem lost, would you like some company?” a tall man appeared from nowhere, stopping a train of thoughts in [H/C]-haired head.

[Y/N] had to raise their head to even see the face of the person that approached them. The man standing in front of [E/C]-eyed person was around his 30’s, had grey eyes, blond hair and a shit-eating grin on his objectively handsome face.

“I’m good on my own,” the smaller individual replayed firmly, trying to stay calm.

“Playing hard to get, huh?” the man chuckled “You, my little bird, should be careful lady, not everyone will be as kind as me to give you a second chance,” the blond said, still grinning. And besides, why does every man think that he can call people, especially women, however, he wants?

[Y/N] wanted to correct their interlocutor (if you could even call him that) that they were no lady, but they bite their tongue before anything unwanted escaped their lips. Sometimes living in London was worse than anything [Y/N] could imagine.

“So what pretty little thing like yourself is doing on her own?” the man asked, trying to start a conversation. His face was looking very punchable at that moment.

“Just waiting for someone,” [H/C]-haired person said, even though they wanted to tell the insolent companion about 10 fastest ways to castrate someone if said person is imposing. [Y/N] couldn’t lie, living with Sherlock, and participating in, sometimes really gory, investigations woke in them a monstrously large arsenal of sometimes sadistic ideas and [Y/N]’s short temper and sharp tongue wasn’t helping.

“Well, a true gentleman wouldn't leave his woman alone,” the grey-eyed man said playfully. Was everyone using heavily gendered language just to depress [Y/N], or English just was like that, and it was just [Y/N]’s perception that was twisted by living with a respectful partner who was using gender-neutral language? “Good thing that I am right here”.

“Bad thing that you are no gentleman, more like a country boy who can’t see when their companion is uncomfortable,” a smaller individual said under their breath, so the blond man couldn’t understand it while looking at their shoes.

“What did you just say, sweetheart?” the tall man asked in a sickly sweet tone.

“I said… ” [Y/N] started to raise their voice, totally done with arrogant men in front of them.

“[D/N], we can go now,” sudden arrival of Sherlock made [E/C]-eyed person jump a little.

“Great.” [H/C]-haired person mumbled, now entirely drained from energy, took their partner under the arm and left as fast as possible. They just wanted to be back at home.

"Sherlock, could you help me?" [Y/N] yelled while fighting against the corset ribbon. "This bloody dress is going to kill me!"

"Coming," a muffled voice came from behind a wall, followed by quick steps. "Here," Sherlock slightly chuckled while efficiently untieing ribbons.

[E/C]-eyed individual, finally freed from the corset, desperately took a deep breath.

"I swear to God, these dressmakers are plotting my death," [Y/N] sighed while massaging sore chest.

The blue-eyed man looked at his spouse and smiled softly while putting away the coutil* torture device.

"I don't think that tailors have such wicked intentions," Sherlock responded, trying to hold back a laugh.

After a few seconds [Y/N] felt the light touch of one of Sherlock's shirts on their back, they immediately coated themself in a pleasant in touch fabric. It smelled like Sherlock's cologne and his favourite tobacco. For [H/C]-haired person currently dressed in said shirt, it essentially smelled of home. Right after putting the shirt up, they felt their partner gently hugging them from the back. It was almost perfect.

"Something is on your mind," Sherlock more stated than asked.

"I just don't feel my best," [Y/N] whispered while snuggling his face into the brown-haired man's shoulder.

The blue-eyed man glanced at his lover with guilt. He shouldn't have insisted on [Y/N] going with him.

"I'm sorry."

[Y/N] didn't respond, just hugged Sherlock a little more to give him a signal that they weren't mad.

"I still have some work to do, would you like to sit with me?" the brown-haired man asked while gently stroking the back of his partner.

[Y/N] just hummed as yes.

[Y/N] sighed, cuddling into the side of Sherlock. No people, no dresses, no judgement or wrong pronouns. It was just them, Sherlock and London's nightlife behind a window. Now it was perfect.

*Coutil (or Coutille) is a ticking-woven clothe used to make corsets, table covers, mattresses, tents, and other types of resistant garments

[sunfish999]

my friend just asked me what they can do to make long hair look more masculine?

I thought I’d put stuff on here for anyone else

ANYWAYS most of my encounters w masculine long hair.... anime.....

- eren jaeger: (i linked a tiktok but i think they deleted it) automatically masc (works w very long hair too)

- buns towards the back of ur head

- high ponytails but with middle part (ur hair can scrunch up too it’s fine it adds to the messy look)

- low ponytail w middle part and stray hairs framing ur face

^some examples also

- if all else fails: do some masc/androgynous contouring makeup

I’ll add more if I come up with stuff. Also feel free to add ideas in comments!!