#mean brain

[jaja-salute]

i have just realized what a big ass forehead I have during a videocall with a friend and damn the self hate is so bad

so so fucking bad

i mean, i look like a fucking egg with hair, how the fuck

[lil-dude-mattie444]

My brain says :”order that shit! It will help with ✨gender euphoria✨

My mental illness says:”dude, you’re fucked, no it won’t.”

K bye☺️ I’m gonna go hide in my cardboard box now, 🙂‍↔️

[glitchyko]

Hmmmmmmmm I wanna draw and share other things on here that aren’t LMK related, and sometimes not fandom related in general, but my brain goes, “But that’s all you post! What about the lmk oc’s, au’s and stories and such you wanna share and do stuff with? Are you just going to forget about them?!” And it’s frustrating cause it’s my blog and I should be able to share what I want to share, and I’ve been wanting to check out and maybe get into other things like Cult of the Lamb, Hollow Knight, Slay the Princess, Trigun, Dungeon Meshi, I could go on, but my brain is mean to me

Sometimes I just need to remind myself that this is my blog, I can make and share whatever I wish despite what my brain tells me, I’m not chained to only be into one thing and that’s it. Whether it be fandom, characters, art style, etc. I can explore and check out different things, if you stick to only one thing you’re gonna eventually get bored and things will stagnate and then you’ll get burnt out, it’s not a bad thing to take a break from something and try different things, it’s good for you actually

I think it’s about time I start doing that

[kawaoneechan]

Why no, I don't have anything better to do.

That'd mean going back to getting stuck between a bunch of projects where I have no idea what to do and just end up working on useless aspects instead of actual content and such.

[gay-prentiss]

i am,, not feeling good in the slightest. if you’ve sent/you do send me anything pls give me time i have only one small brain and it’s not very nice to me

[rileysecretfox]

Please, Brain, stop giving me fic ideas without giving me the energy to actually work on them.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

[podkayneofthegalaxy]

OUCH

I have only just now at age 36 mastered brushing my teeth and washing/moisturizing my face on a regular basis, so wearing makeup, doing my hair, shaving…anything really is still way down the list of priorities. I have never exactly felt the most feminine of women, let’s just say. (One of my former coworkers used to call me “The DudeChick” 😐)

But the last few months I’ve been getting my nails done with what I call an indestructible manicure. It’s just the NextGen powder dip stuff, but it never chips or cracks or flakes or ever ever comes off and it cures in five minutes without UV. I’ve never smeared it or messed it up as soon as i walk out or reach for my wallet to pay. It’s an ADHD proof manicure. (And the place by my house offers it in fun colors to satisfy my five-year-old brain without asking me if I’m sure that’s what I want? or commenting about how “that’s really bright!” I still remember getting my toes done for my wedding in grass green. They asked me if I was sure and then asked my MOTHER if it was okay. )

But man, if you rip off a nail topped in an indestructible manicure it really REALLY hurts. Good thing I already had “get my nails done” on my to-do list for tomorrow.

PS: My mean brain tried to be all like "See! You knew they were getting too long! You should have done it today like originally planned! Stupid!" Luckily I couldn't even finish that thought before I realized that was the dumbest thing I've tried to blame on myself in awhile. I mean, c'mon mean brain, you're going to have to try harder than that.

[losingitinjersey]

When you wake up weighing two pounds heavier and with an aching head you start to question if you over did it with the rangoons last night.  I think I need to stop making them, or at least stop making enough for two people because I’m generally the one that eats them all...  

It’s incredible how quickly mindset can change.  I found myself in the shower this morning thinking about giving up.  That I’d blown all my effort and why not just eat whatever I want and eff it all.  It was shocking to find myself thinking this way after so recently (yesterday!) being so proud of my efforts.

It reminded me of when I was on day one of my honeymoon in Thailand last year, two days after my wedding and I found myself thinking extremely negatively about myself and my weight.  Starting at my wedding reception I allowed myself to eat and drink whatever I wanted which carried over the next morning for our “Morning After Brunch” where I dived into breakfast burritos, danishes and mimosas.  I had literally only two days of eating without thinking and my self-image was already telling me that I’d gained at least 30 pounds.  I had to constantly check myself in the mirror to be reminded that I was still skinny even though my brain said anything but.  I kept this mindset throughout the entire year when in fact I actually did gain 100 pounds and I no longer saw the body I’d worked so hard to attain.  

So, here I am now, working my way back down and reminding myself that all is not lost and knowing that it’s just my brain attacking me because it’s had so much practice at it.

On a positive note!!!  I’m wearing pants today that I haven’t worn in at least four months?!  Throughout most of the last six months I’ve been wearing one pair of pants to work everyday.  I kept buying new pants to supplement but I’d always gain out of them.  The everyday pants are stretchy so they accommodated my gains but they are a bit too short for me and started to show tiny elastic threads at my inner thighs which is so embarrassing.  I’d wash them every two days to feel better about wearing them every day but it’s still disheartening to know you only fit into one pair and I didn’t want to buy more because I have so many smaller pants that would fit if I’d just lose the weight.  

Thanks to my forgetting to do laundry last night I decided to give these pants a try.  I had previously decided not to try them on until I had lost 40 pounds (20 pounds away) but since I was out of options I went for it.  To my elation they zipped right up and fit even better than the day I bought them.  Oh happy day!