#mental pattern

[loveyourlovelysoul]

We've been mistaking unhealthy coping strategies for positive traits our whole life, so for example:

We think people pleasing is being kind, but kindness comes from genuine care, not fear of rejection: people pleasing is anxiety disgused as niceness

We mistake perfectionism for excellence, but excellence is about growth and progress, while perfectionism is fear of failure dressed up as high standards

We confuse avoiding conflict with being peaceful, but peaceful isn't pretending everything is fine: that's fear of confrontation masquerading as harmony

We think suppressing feelings makes us strong, but strength isn't emotional numbness: that's trauma disguised as resilience

We mistake not asking for help as independence, but independence isn't doing everything alone: that's fear of being a burden or pretending to be self-reliant

We confuse approval seeking with getting good advice, but seeking wisdom is different from needing validation: approval seeking is insecurity disguised as being open to input

We think being controlling gives us safety but safety isn't micromanaging everything: that's anxiety masquerading as being responsible

We mistake our productivity for our worth, but our value isn't our output: that's childhood conditioning disguised as work ethics

These patterns serve you once, but now they're just keeping you stuck

(drglorialee on ig video)

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Conditioning may have made you have opinions or say things, or even do stuff that aren't really part of you and who you are, just to be accepted by others and not be abandoned. Just to be able to survive (humans live in communities and in the prehistoric age, they would not have been able to survive if they got left out of groups).

Please come back to yourself and realize what are your real thoughts and try to separate yourself from those of others. It can be hard to do at first, it can be unsettling and tough, scary for sure, but that's mostly cause your mind wants to suggest you it's too risky and you may end up alone if you start being yourself and not follow the lead of others. But that's not true. You can survive and find the people that by nature, are exactly like you.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

The victory of a type of thought over another one is often only based on our permission. We're the one allowing or not a thought to take over us and decide our next steps. Breathe, breathe more, stay in control

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Everytime we have a thought or a fear while thinking about something, we have the power to realize to what timing it is related (generally past, present and future) and try to re-center in our awareness while being more compassionate about it.

Past thougths: recollecting traumas, memories, mental patterns/behaviours/perspectives, rumination Present thoughts: consciousness, awareness, reacting/connecting to something/someone Future thoughts: imagining/planning specific outcomes, what ifs, anxiety, predictions, expectations

To stay present with our thougths, we can: - prioritizing ourselves, avoiding to work on too many hobbies or activities all at once (better to choose one we really enjoy), spending time in nature, focusing more on self awareness-related practics - learning some daily practics that can help us let go of past and future thoughts when they become overwhelming, for example writing them down and exercising to physically letting them flow through our bodies instead of having them stuck inside - trying to be more in tune with our mind and body before making any decision or taking action: for example by stopping ourselves and counting up to 5 or 10, becoming aware of ourselves and our feelings, and reacting consequently - letting go of thoughts (present ones too) without attaching them meanings or overanalyzing them: this can help them fixate in us, gain more power over us, cause us anxiety and spiralling. The less we think about our thoughts, the more they're free to go from us, after we simply acknowledged them.

The main fact is that we never really live in the present, for a reason or another. Even healing, often takes place in our past (which is okay, in the end, but not necessary: our trauma is the reaction we have now to a past event or situation. And we cannot change what has been -it's okay to check and understand it ofc- but we can change how we perceive it nowadays). And then… we're scared of not knowing, not being able to control our future and what will be. As humans, we're pretty much buildt to think about the worse scenario, or imagine that things will just be bad, but honestly we have no proof for that. It could be either. And worrying about something we have no clue about only takes away our sanity. We should let go of the thoughts that don't serve us, and try to be more focused in our consciousness. Beware: I'm not saying it's fast and easy, just something we may take action on, slowly, when we feel ready.