Hi sorry. This is actually a question. Please delete if not allowed. But is it normal to like...be completely different on the inside vs the outside?
Like outside I'm just a person. But on the inside I'm a big black house cat made of void matter and my habits, mannerisms, thoughts, etc are all different.
And also is it normal to like...nor know what your inside self is doing while you front? I hate this so much. I don't like going from Normal Human eating dinner to Cat rolling in a puddle or something.
I'm always so scared that Outside [Body Name] is different from Inside [Personal Name] and that I'll never be a full person bc of this disparity.
if i'm reading this right, you're saying that when you front you think in a different way/have different habits and mannerisms? that's definitely soemthing that happens with other systems too, and possibly has something to do with masking, whether conscious or unconscious
usually when you front, your inside self isn't going to be doing something you're unaware of if they're not a separate entity to you. unless you mean you don't have that experience some systems do where they can do things in the fronting room whilst they're fronting/are aware of themselves being in the fronting room whilst also being aware of the outerworld. in which case, we also aren't aware of the fronting room when we front (unless we choose to be aware of the fronting room), and we're completely focused on the outerworld, even sometimes when talking to headmates
sorry i can't help much, it's a bit difficult to understand what you're asking /lh
