Sick from pushing too hard in gym Vin🍄
little tidbit: while this song does feature lyrics from Parachute by H4yley Wi1liams, you should actually read this while listening to Orbiter by N0ah Kah4an for maximum damage. Both songs are in my Wendy/Vin playlist.
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Bad days
Vince had started to categorize his days in two piles, good days and bad days. On good days he thought of moving on, he checked out the three million texts his realtor sent him, he focused on his classes, he had lunch with Max and dinner with the Atwoods and they laughed over shared food. On good days, he only thought of Wendy with a tinge of sadness or she almost fled his thoughts — almost being the imperative word here — and he video called his parents or one of his sisters, got chewed up by Sophia — stop being so overbearing, I'm fine — or told all the secrets of second grade by Livia.
They were growing more common, but they still weren't the norm.
Then there were the bad days.
Days when his work felt a little pointless and aimless, where his focus was all over the place. Days where being around Max filled him with guilt for imploding the guy's life and Vince plain avoided him, and where watching Bella and Luke be soulmates was nearly unbearable...
Days where Wendy was in the forefront of his mind and his fingers lingered over her contact, where he caught himself typing to her some dumb thing and then realizing he couldn't send it because they were at odds. A desire so strong of seeing her, he more than once had gone on a walk in the Atwood's suburbs and nearly walked across town, back to her apartment.
He wondered if it was this awful for Wendy too, but then Vince remembered the steely glare in her eyes at the hospital morning, exchanging barbs with Sophia, when she had called him spineless and he had said it was a good thing they weren't dating and seen her face fall...
Sometimes Vince was happy they ended things so badly, at least then he could wish to never see her again and no one questioned it. If they had ended in good terms and Wendy was coming around often, he might as well just pass away.
"Ground control to Vincenzo Monacelli, over," Luke said in a cheerful, fake robotic tone and Vin's eyes snapped to his face.
Luke's cheeks were all pink from overexertion and he had sweat running down his temples. Vince himself probably didn't look any better, since they were in the gym and he had zoned out mid exercise.
"Uh?"
"Spaced the fuck out there, man," Luke rolled his eyes, "you're causing a queue."
He was sitting on the pec deck machine and sure enough, there were two other people hanging awkwardly behind Luke, surely waiting for their turn since Vince had been hogging it.
"Sorry," he mumbled, jumping up, too fast, because a bunch of colorful dots appeared in front of his eyes and Luke laughed, catching him by the chest.
"WhOA! Don't pass out on me, dude!" His tone was humorous, not concerned, and Vin shook his head to clear it, forcing out a smile and stepping out of the other gym members' way.
His whole body was aching, but he could hardly recall getting to the gym. It was like he was moving through molasses, as if he was watching his day unfold to someone who wasn't him. Today was a bad day.
Vaguely, a dream that was already fading from memory, Vince knew he had gone to work today and that he had applied an exam and corrected papers. He knew he had skipped lunch to work and he knew Max had looked at him with that frowny expression that others might think was him being angry, but that Vince knew just meant he was hurt. He knew he had felt awful about it. He knew he had eaten seconds during dinner to avoid conversation and that Bella had been in a great mood and that he had watched like some sort of voyeur from the dining room as Luke grabbed her hand and twirled her around, since she was playing music. He remembered mumbling something about the gym and now he had no idea why Lucas was there with him, late at night, nor how long they had been there.
"Vin?" Luke's hand squeezed his nape, sweaty, sliding there. Vince shuddered, tugged on his hair and grabbed an elastic band from his wrist to pull it all into a knot.
"Yeah?"
"I think we've done enough for tonight," Lucas' tone was careful. Not openly concerned, coated with a teasing tone that was entirely for Vin's benefit, "it's late, let's go home?"
He wanted to go home, but not to Luke and Bell's place. Not his parent's either. Not Wendy's, although it was the first thing that flashed in front of his eyes when the word was brought up. Some place else. Some place where things were right.
"Yeah, okay-" he nodded, then glanced at the treadmill, "jog to cool down?"
Lucas nodded, eager to please and they walked across the gym to the opposite side of it, where the cardio equipment was housed.
There was a row of treadmills and their gym had two floors, the first one split between the weightlifting and the dance classes. The second floor, with the cardio equipment, was more of a mezzanine and they had a view to the dance class.
A bunch of people in leggings, following a teacher that was right in front of them, shouting over the music.
"This song is so good," Luke whispered next to him, an habit he had gotten from Bell, noticing any sort of music playing. When Vince had first met Lucas, he barely listened to music at all. Vince didn't know it, something grunge and weirdly poppy, something he hadn't heard before.
His arms were burning from the previous drifting off while exercising, so he held on the treadmill's guards as he started walking, occasionally touching the panel to up the speed from a slow walk to a light jog, to a full on jog-
Tell me what was the moment you decided to give up? You could've told me what you wanted, I would've done anything.
Vince turned up the speed, shaking his head to avoid the sweat running down his temples, trying to tune out the stupid lyrics- I thought you were gonna catch me, I never stopped falling for you-
He was trying to outrun the onslaught of emotions and he was failing miserably. He was in Sicily and Wendy was wrapped up in his arms and he was sitting in his Doveport little house and sniffling through the tears and saying he'd never forgive himself if he didn't live his own life with her and he was sitting next to her hospital bed, Wendy had purple marks all over her, he was stumbling over his words on how to fix it and he was catching her hungry eyes across the room-
And she was swallowing him up with kisses, they were whispering in their bedroom about things that shouldn't be said out loud, let alone during bright day light. Wendy's heart shaped face all pink as he took her dancing and her dressed in a magenta dress, the necklace he gave her shining against her creamy skin, green eyes sparkling. Stars in her hair as she twirled in Max's arms, during Jon and Leo's wedding, and her curling her fingers on his jacket as he took her from him- Hair up in a spiky ponytail and annoyed huffs as they worked during the hospital fundraiser, cheeks red from the heat and her lips pursed as he charmed their clients- Vince lying in her bed, mortified beyond words after being sick, but butterflies doing backflips because she had said "Vince, I'm your girlfriend."
Wendy's eyes big on her face as he said "so... My girlfriend, eh?"
Her hand had stopped moving, frozen in place and she had looked up, big green eyes more wide now than they had been all night, "I mean, I thought-"
Vince had pressed his lips to her forehead, "I like the ring of it.. I love it, actually."
"VINCE!" Luke grabbed him by the bicep, strong enough to bruise, and he snapped out of it. Heart drumming in his ears, legs burning, air not making it to his lungs...
Luke pressed the buttons on the treadmill, slowing it down and then stopping, and Vince's knees wobbled, nearly sending him down. His eyes were burning. He wanted her back. He'd take the manipulation and the cruelty, he just wanted her back.
"C'mere, c'mere, I got you," Luke wrapped an arm around his back, drenched with sweat, and Vince stumbled out of the treadmill, bracing against his knees as he tried to catch his breath-
A gag hit him, too sudden and too strong to stop, and he retched violently, vomit exploding out of his mouth and all over both their sneakers. His ears went deaf and Vince stumbled down to his knees, bracing a hand on the linoleum flooring to stop himself from collapsing on the disgusting mess.
He wanted her back.
His stomach flipped once more and he coughed, chunky vomit nearly choking him. A hand smacking his back, clearing up his airways, more liquid falling on the growing puddle, orange sludge touching his fingertips, sweaty curls falling over his eyes.
Wendy peppering kisses all over his face and her delicate fingers on the waistband of his pants, eyes flashing with desire- She had tainted every fucking corner of his life. He couldn't be sick without thinking of her, he hated it, he missed her.
"Awn, Vin," Luke cooed, voice far too gentle for the situation at hand, Vince's stomach squeezing once more, with a heave- A sob. He was sticky everywhere and he felt like he was stuck in quicksand. His hands were disgusting, he stomach wouldn't stop spasming-
"Shhh, I got you," Luke had stripped his shirt, was holding it to Vin's chin, wiping away the mess as if he was a kid who had spit up after a rollercoaster. Eyes searching his face, not a hint of revulsion in them, just concern and Vince blubbered, chest constricting.
"Gross-"
"No, it's okay, sshhh," Luke folded his shirt, took Vin's hands in his and started wiping at his fingers. Vince felt like he was drunk, his head was pounding and heavy, his heart was still racing, his limbs weighed a thousand pounds.
"Sr'y-"
"That's alright," Lucas rolled his eyes, face splitting with one of those disarming, bright smiles, not directed at Vince but at someone else, "thanks, Evan. He's okay, just pushed too much."
A water bottle appeared in front of his eyes, Vince reached for it with shaky hands and Lucas broke the seal, handing it to him, "just a sip, okay? Or you're gonna throw it back up."
They had done this how many times before, during college? Out in the field and Luke pushing himself nearly to breaking point, both of them with their cheeks burning from practice and sitting next to each other on the track as they shared a water bottle and fought the growing nausea, giggling at their own expense.
It felt like a lifetime ago.
"Put your arm around my shoulders," Lucas bossed, but it was more of a statement than a request, as he moved Vin's arm for him. He wrapped his arms around his waist, huffing as he pulled them both to their feet.
Vince clutched the water bottle and the motion sent up a burp, a trickle of vomit falling on the puddle at their feet. He was too out of it to feel embarrassed as he should. Luke didn't seem to care, shuffling them forward, hugging Vin tightly as they barely managed to not fall down the stairs.
Luke's car was parked a couple dozen feet away from the gym and Vin allowed his head to hang, turning it to the side and burying his nose on Lucas' hair despite the fact they were both drenched in sweat and his breath still smelt like vomit.
His body shook with another heave turned sob and then another and then there was an annoying ding-ding-ding-ding of an open car door and Vince was sitting on the passenger side, facing the asphalt, elbows planted to his knees as he cried.
He was sick of crying and of feeling like this, missing her, and wanting to go back in time, before they had made such a mess. When exactly would he need to go back to, though? Before he broke up with her, a final ultimatum that left no room to argue? Before Wendy and Bella fought, the catalyst for it all? Before he had messed up Max's life? Or before he had completely missed Wendy being ill, falling apart right in front of his eyes for weeks on end, crumpled at the bottom of the stairs like a broken doll? Before he moved to Doveport without taking her into consideration, her chin wobbling as she barged out of his parent's house?
It felt like in order to fix this, he'd need to go back three years, before Wendy... He didn't want to forget her either, if given the option he'd do it again, even knowing how it would end. He'd still show up to that fair event with a stupid jacket and he would still have helped her during Jon's birthday party and he would have dated her and he would have loved her.
And he would have lost her.
"Can- can-" Vince tried to say, but his words didn't connect, he didn't even know what he was saying. Wen's voice echoed in his ears, shrill and crumbling under tears, tell me how to fix this. I'll do it, I can do better, I can be better-
"Hey," Luke cupped his face, pushed it back just so Vince could get in any air and he spluttered for it, gasping around nothing as he felt like he was having a heart attack. A pressure on his chest and Vince glanced down, realize Luke had pressed his hand there, eyes catching his, "breathe, Vin."
He shook his head and Lucas' chest puffed with a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. He grabbed Vin's hand and pressed it to his naked chest, Vin curled his fingers, eager to grab anything to anchor him. He was drifting.
"Breathe," Luke's voice came from underwater and Vince sucked in the air, head swimming.
His lungs expanded. He let it out through his mouth, in through his nose. Luke's heart beating under his sweaty palm, steady. Strong.
"I-"
"Don't say anything, just keep breathing," Luke bossed and Vince huffed out a laugh, not quite. He breathed in, out and then again.
Everything hurt. His hands were shaking and his calves were cramping, thighs burning from running... He waited for the embarrassment, but it was as if he had run out of all emotions to feel and it never came. He dropped his hand from his best friend's chest as his own heart slowed enough to match its pace, and Lucas let out a relieved sigh, leaning in and smacking their foreheads together.
Vince breathed out, boneless. He should apologize, if not for the ugly, desperate sobbing, then for the mess. His tongue felt too heavy to move. Luke pulled back and started undoing his sneakers, unbothered by the congealed mess over them, practical.
"How's the stomach?" His best friend asked once he had toed out of his own dirty sneakers and was holding both pairs by their laces, standing up straight, "still nauseous?"
"Dunno," Vin mumbled and Lucas nodded, sighing. He circled the car, Vin heard the trunk be opened and then the driver's door. Lucas sliding the key in the ignition and the radio turned on by default.
Vince smacked the middle button, turning it off. Luke nodded, gestured for his door, "shut it, will you?"
