#padawan shenanigans

[flashthescalesian-art]

Anakin: I just watched Ahsoka jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, she wasn’t hurt that badly. But the whole time, Rex was screaming for help, which caused Kit to run in to help Ahsoka. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

[obligatorytropeinsert]

Tholme: Your padawan bit my padawan's hand!!

Qui Gon: Now I'm sure he didn't mean it. Obi-Wan, why don't you apologize?

Obi-Wan (struggling in his master's arms): Just you wait, I'll do it again!

[captain-mozzarella]

Someone give me padawan Obi and Quin being like

Quinlan: my master could beat up your master!

Obi-Wan: Nuh-uh no way!

Quinlan: yes way!

Obi-Wan: you're not invited to my lifeday party anymore

Except they keep going like this even once they're masters yk

[trixree]

“We are having a fixation,” is what Quin greets her with.

“Uh huh,” Bant replies with a slow caution befitting of a bomb squad.

“A tiny, tiny bit of a fixation,” Quinlan continues. “The tiniest.” He brings two fingers together, demonstrating said tiny-ness.

“Okay," she says with no small amount of concern.

The subject of their conversation turns and hisses at them in rage. It somewhat loses effect, given Obi-Wan's general state of disarray. Bant has to swallow, reflexively, in order to beat down the urge to laugh.

Obi is on all fours crouched over a body of water that falls somewhere in classification between a pond and a fountain (as most things in the Room of A Thousand Fountains do). Water burbles a steady stream across moss-coated rock, falling gently into the pond below—Bant is going to rule that it is, in fact, a pond due to the general scum and grime levels; all natural and indicative of a healthy miniature ecosystem, of course!—and fills the green, pleasantly-humid space with an equally pleasant white noise. Much less pleasant and peaceful, the sleeves of Obi’s tunics are tied into a soaking wet mass at his shoulders, his pale and freckled arms plunged the majority of the way into the water.

“I am being perfectly-fucking-reasonable,” he declares archly, his hands making sweeping movements below the surface. Obi sniffs at them in displeasure, his jaw clenched so tight that it’s giving Bant a sympathy tension headache.

“Sure you are, honey,” Quinlan coos back.

Obi-Wan snarls, brandishing one dripping-wet and mossy hand in Quin’s direction and miming what Bant is certain is a Force-choke. “Begone from me,” Obi-Wan demands in the casually superior tone of a Coruscanti business-person who ordered the chicken salad with dressing on the side.

Bant takes a deep breath, steeling herself, and asks in her best Creche-duty voice, “What are you doing, Obi-Wan?”

He plunges his Sithly hand back into the pond with a deep scowl. It ages him in a way truly nothing else manages to—twenty-one he may be, but Hell if he looks not a day over fifteen. His padawan braid, a long and proud thing, resembles a wet rat’s tail. As she waits for a reply, it drips, swaying with Obi-Wan’s vigorous sweeping motions.

“Frogs!” he shouts, sudden and furious. “Fucking, kriffing, nerf-herding, bantha-shitting frogs!”

“Frogs?” Bant soundlessly mouths at Quin. He is too busy stuffing both hands over his mouth to prevent barking, cacophonous laughter and does not register her silent question. The Room of a Thousand Fountains is, after all, a place of peace and serenity.

“Master Jinn,” Obi-Wan continues in the same distressed and obnoxious pitch, “is starting a terrarium, Bant. A terr-ar-ium,” he hits each syllable with the same fervor as he hits Quin during a spar—viciously and with no quarter. “You know what that means, Bant? Bant, my dear? My darling? It means I will be keeping a fucking terrarium.”

Bant winces. It’s common knowledge among their little friend group that Obi-Wan’s Master is a bit of a... douchebag. Not that Master Jinn is not an excellent Jedi; Bant has heard of his sweeping successes in diplomacy and seen firsthand how magnificent of a duelist he is. She would be hard pressed to find another Master among the Coruscant Temple that is more in-tune with the Living Force! Master Jinn can walk into a room and any greenery or foliage will spontaneously grow an additional three centimeters.

(Obi-Wan maintains that the plants are just quivering in fear of their most natural predator.)

This is, unfortunately, as far as Master Jinn’s skill with living-beings extends. He is a gardener like no other and yet anything approaching sentient status perishes instantly in his care.

Bant was shocked to learn that Obi-Wan was not, in fact, Master Jinn’s first padawan. Somehow—somehow!—the man had three! Granted, one of those three did turn to the Darkside and enslave her best friend for a time, but Obi-Wan’s lineage brother Feemor seems to be well-adjusted enough. By Obi-Wan’s account, Feemor is even a little bit… dull. Even so, Master Jinn’s record of having raised one successful and well-adjustedJedi seems so unfathomable, given what Bant knows of Obi-Wan’s padwanship.

Obi-Wan does the cooking because, if left to his own devices, Master Jinn will claim to be able to subsist on the Force and truly terrible tea alone. Obi once told her, practically vibrating with frustration, that he isn’t sure Master Jinn knows how to boil a pot of water. He also claims to have seen the man eat an uncooked handful of dry pasta. Bant maintains that this is impossible, even with those hard human teeth. It’s just too crunchy! Much, much too crunchy to manage, surely.

Wouldn’t it hurt?

No, said Obi-Wan. Pain is something for other people. Pain does not visit Qui-Gon Jinn.

Obi-Wan also does the laundry, the tidying, and any and all such general tending that is necessary to keep two human males functioning optimally. Once (and only once) Obi-Wan came to Master Jinn looking for comfort after a nightmare. He swears, up and down, that Master Jinn patted him gingerly on the head with an expression akin to a grimace and said only, "I see" before beating a hasty retreat.

This is the same man who coos at cacti.

When Master Jinn rescues some hapless creature and brings it to his Temple quarters under the obviously misguided belief that he will be able to care for them, their care always falls to Obi-Wan. Case in point: the tooka, the porgs, the other tooka, the terryl, the juvenile varactyl, and the kowakian-lizard monkey.

“Oh dear,” Bant says, sympathetically.

“So,” Obi-Wan continues, voice like the world’s most damp drill sergeant, “I am acquiring frogs instead of purchasing frogs because when the inevitable happens, I would really rather appreciate still having credits."

A mournful chirping sound fills the air, distinctly amphibious.

“Come here you son of a fucking bitch,” Obi grits through painfully clenched teeth. Something little and distinctly slippery makes a flying leap out of the water only to be seized (carefully) by the Force. The frog spins pathetically in the air, long spindly legs kicking fruitlessly as it croaks in confusion. “Hush, we are both victims here. Blame the madman, not me,” he tells the frog promptly before plopping it into a container previously hidden behind his enormous (and hideous) water-proof boots.

“One down!” Quinlan brightly announces, clapping once. “How many more to go?”

Obi-Wan brandishes a single pointing finger at Quin as if it is a weapon of war. “Three, but that’s none of your business, is it, you useless, unhelpful cretan?”

Quin giggles, high and pitchy. “He loves me,” he turns and stage-whispers to Bant’s slowly retreating person. She freezes. Damn it.

She had been carefully and unobtrusively shuffling away, lest she fail to escape before Obi-Wan remembers her species is aquatic.

[just-another-product-of-today]

Headcanon that Tera Sinube helped every member/padawan of the disaster lineage (from Dooku to Ahsoka) to help find their lost lightsaber

It started with Dooku because Jocasta and Tera were friends so when Yan finally ignored his pride to ask for his friend to help him and yes yes I'll say thank you if that's what you need but just help me before Master Yoda notices; she sends him to another friend who just always know how to find things

With Qui-Gon, it was just a coincidence

With Obi-Wan, a pattern

With Anakin, it was starting to be quite ridiculous

And finally with Ahsoka "my master's gonna kill me" Tano, it was both the funniest joke and the most facetious fact

Maybe Jocasta and Tera had a bet going on between them on the "your lightsaber is your life" lineage, or maybe not... no one can prove it, either way ;)

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

broke: anakin wears dark robes & synthleather tabards because he's emo & A Rebel; woke: anakin wears dark robes to fit in with his fellow padawans aayla & barriss

oh man yeah i'll drink to that

personally it's my headcanon that anakin has always been low-key intimidated (and a little resentful of it) by how cool Aayla is. Because you know that Quinlan & Aayla are the coolest master-padawan duo in the temple. Barriss is at least a little younger than him and slightly less intimidating.

[aces-to-apples]

for the first sentence meme: "Anakin had been told, many times and by many people, that he had no shame."

Anakin had been told, many times and by many people, that he had no shame. This was, at once, both true and untrue.

He actually had a theory about shame: it posited that the opposite of shame was, in fact, confidence. If he was confident in his abilities and shortcomings, if he knew his actions to be the best decision he can have made in the moment, then shame could not touch him.

It worked out fairly well for him so far.

Standing on the steps of the Jedi Temple with his hands in binders and a Judicial holding either arm, staring up at Masters Obi-Wan and Windu, Anakin prepared his defense. He blew up that swoop bike with confidence, after all.

... And he was a minor.

That had to count for something, even on Coruscant.

[obligatorytropeinsert]

Qui Gon Jinn: Someone give me a blunt

Obi-Wan: But, Master, we don't smoke

Quin Gon: Cut the crap, Obi. I am a Jedi.

Quin Gon: I know that one in five teenagers smoke pot. (points at Obi-Wan, Garen, Bant, Luminari and Siri) One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Qui Gon: Now. I am going to close my eyes and when I open them, there had better be a blunt between these two fingers... (someone hands him a joint) Thank you. Light?

(all the padawans reach over with a lighter)

Qui Gon: Thank you (leaves)

Quinlan (hiding in the corner, completely stoned): Wow, he didn't even notice me.

Garen: That felt like a trap

Obi-Wan: No, no, Master just got done with a council meeting and he probably ran out of his own stash.