#pandemic baking

[wwwwitchrecipescom]

😊 *Aggression Cookies* 🍪

Kids and Coronavirus driving you crazy? Try these killer cookies! Will they keep off the Covid 15? Nope. Will they protect you from your imminent demise? Probably not. But what they WILL do is make you feel better, and that’s a win in my book!

(The sugar did actually appease my kids for a few hours, but then the sugar and toads foot kicked in and they got REALLY hyper so I wouldn’t recommend it).

Ready? No? Great! Let’s get started.

First, you’ll need these ingredients. They should all be pantry staples, so you shouldn’t have to risk a virus to get your sugar fix.

Ingredients:

3/4 cups brown sugar

3/4 cups white sugar

1 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups flower (any kind will do)

2 human souls (omit if vegan)

1 pinch of toadsfoot (measure that crud with your heart!)

2 tsp baking soda

1. Mix the toadsfoot and white sugar together and set aside.

2. Dump the rest of the ingredient in a bowl and punch the ever loving crap out of it. I mean really get your anger out.

3. Add the souls last (you don’t want to over mix them).

4. Form the dough into small tetrahedrons on a baking sheet. (The shape is very important to ensure the cookies aren’t burnt or haunted. Use a ruler if you have to.)

5. OR roll out dough and use a cookie cutter. I found mine at Alchemists Unlimited for only five frogs feet (or $50 USD)

6. Bake in a 900 degree oven for 4 days, or until golden brown. The insides should still be oozing.

7. Let cool and enjoy!

Sorry for the short recipe! I’m baking against a deadline rn, but I promise I’ll tell you all about it later! 😈

[whereintheworldiskamalakhan]

Hashtag life choices

[comicdiaries]

I’m reading The Book of Delights by Ross Gay (excellent read, highly recommend!) where the author decided to write one short essay every day about something that delighted him. Curious, I started doing the same thing, and it really cheered up my mid-pandemic, mid-winter mood. So enjoy some things that delighted me over the next week.

Transcript below:

Caption: Today’s delight: The tiny air bubbles that squished out of my bread dough as I rolled it out and how smooth and elastic the dough was.

[bryonyashaw]

Ran out of eggs? Here’s an eggless cookie recipe! Two ways!

Whether or not you ran out of eggs or have an egg allergy, below is a tasty treat for you to try! (Be careful not to eat all the dough befor

[madame-verte]

“This year has been interesting because I am once again baking for nobody. My husband isn’t a huge fan of cakes, so I have nobody to impress and nothing to boast about. I thought I would stop baking so much, but I have doubled down, baking late into the night – no matter that I will receive zero praise and most likely end up eating most of the results myself and crashing off the high sugar content. I really only want to make complicated recipes now. I need the challenge of knowing that there are 10 danger points along the way where I might stumble and fall. That there’s an element of risk in something so cosy is ridiculous really, but there it is. The thing that keeps you watching a cooking show where everyone is nice to each other is the knowledge that someone might drop a mixing bowl on the floor, burn biscuits to a crisp or over-mix a meringue. Despite strict instructions and exhortations to follow the rules, baking is mostly alchemy. Sometimes you follow a recipe to the letter, and it’s a sad curdled mess. Sometimes you throw things into a bowl with gay abandon, and it turns out sublime. (...) Still, I will persist. For the calming stirring. For the focus it takes (which takes me away from less wholesome things). For all the memories a tart can promise to conjure, even if they don’t linger very long. Baking isn’t as wholesome as is often imagined. It would be boring if it was. Nailing a perfect chocolate soufflé first time would give you no opportunity for a cathartic rage cry. That’s also a habit I’ve honed this year that I highly recommend.”

- Bella Mackie’s piece for Vogue UK: “Yes, Baking Right Now Is Comforting – But It’s Also Wonderfully Cathartic,” read here.

[killerblackberrypie]

I am pleased as punch with this bread.

This is a no-knead mostly-whole-grain sourdough sandwich loaf that I...created the recipe for? And it looked like this on my third try making it?

I’m super psyched.

[the-brodie-set]

An old coworker of mine just bought a house a block away from us and I offered to add him to my homemade bread rotation.

[awol-newt]

All the sourdough.