#paranoia vent

[desirplural]

BEING ON THE INTERNET WHEN YOU SUFFER FROM PARANOIA:

Open twitter -> see a post from someone saying they're in my walls -> have a panic attack -> calm down and block the poster -> very next post is a gif of a shadowy figure and the words "this person is x km away from your location" -> close twitter and pace around my room with a knife trying to find and kill it -> calm down again -> open youtube -> see an AI generated thumbnail for some analog horror slop with big red text saying "Your family was replaced." -> Close youtube and cry -> calm down again -> open tumblr -> I have an ask -> my mutual sent me an ask telling me "they can see me" -> dissociate for 3 hours to stop myself from hyperventilating and sobbing -> come back to reality and block the mutual -> close tumblr and open discord -> have a conversation with some people -> say I don't like a specific character and get told "you will begin coughing in 3 days" -> leave the server and close discord -> kill myself

[overgrownplant]

slightly more vent but only because i decorate my pages ( SLENDERMAN )

anyway i decorate them before i put the art on top anyway

@imblueker sea crit waterboy flambae evil stuff

[doeishlamb]

me : *says one word*

my thoughts : . .

me : .. .

thoughts : ?^!#?<! YOURSELF. WHYD YOU SAY THAT. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE INSUFFERABLE. YOU SOUND FUCKING STUPID. LOOK AT YOU. LOOK AT THE WAY YOU TALK. EVERYTHING IS WRONG. YOU'RE WRONG. IT'S ALL WRONG.

[princessmaya331]

I keep thinking about two years ago when I constantly thought someone was out to get me or I was being gangstalked. Lowk don’t know what I was on. Like I seriously was convinced I was being watched every second🫩

[bird-in-a-forrest]

As someone plagued with paranoia since birth, I never appreciated the advice to “always trust your gut instinct.” Because my gut instinct believes I am in constant, perilous danger. And when I am alone and trying to shake off the paranoia is exactly when that advice comes back to haunt me.

“Always trust your gut instinct,” cries the man who has never known irrational fear.

The gut instinct is something to be examined, not trusted. It is telling you something. It is your bodies reaction to something your mind hasn’t fully processed. For some of us, the message is that there is a chemical misfire in our brain. For others, it is that danger lurks. In blindly trusting the instinct, you ignore its message.

[roxisucks]

??

[mystic-lumber]

CW: vent

Yeahh, uh-

I don’t usually draw vents but this issue warrants something, I think. Idfk, some of my friends haven’t been active with me in a while and I don’t know what to think of that. One of them usually likes all my status posts (Whatsapp), especially my art, but she’s just entirely stopped as soon as I came out as a therian

It feels like I’m being forgotten, or even fucking ignored, and it’s eating me up inside. What did I do wrong? Don’t I deserve to be loved too? Animals deserve love, right? Why the fuck am I any different?

Honestly, I’m wondering if they’ve forgotten me. It’s probably just my paranoia (I have bad paranoia) but telling myself that doesn’t help.

I just wanna be normal. I wanna have normal relationships and a normal fucking mind but that’s just not me. I’m not normal and it’s not my fault. Why can’t people see that?

I can’t be normal about relationships

[fawnloser]

i wish that i wasn’t so incredibly paranoid bc i enjoy horror like A LOT. and i love scary things or creepy things or just like unsettling media (not real obviously) but like i said, i’m PARANOID. even if it’s obviously not real in anyway i will still think something’s going to show up in my home. even unsettling songs get me fucking TERRIFIED.