#parent vent

[hwang4luv]

I can't WAIT to move away from my parents, I can't WAIT to finally wear whatever clothes or outfits I want, I can't WAIT to finally eat whenever I want without them forcing me, I can't WAIT to be away from them

[fawngirl4president]

my mother refers to gay people as gross and unnatural in the same breath as she claims the title of “empath”. my mother knows i’ve always loved women, but because i married a man she’ll only ever see my queerness as a phase or invalid. i didn’t stop being me, i won’t.

when i was little she taught me to be kind to everyone, we are all equal. she warned me about racism and how sometimes i may be treated differently for the “poofy” hair she never learned to style or wide nose i planned to “fix” before i’d even hit puberty. she resents women like me. she sneers at dark-skinned women as if they don’t match her preference in men.

my mother is a hypocrite, she’s jealous, bitter, ignorant and hateful. i can’t stand her and hate that i still miss her anyways.

[wrenthedelusional]

I miss when my mama and father were nice

I miss when hey weren't sad

I miss being younger

I miss myself

I miss my mama and father

even though they hurt me I can't bring myself to hate them

I still love my mama and father even though they hurt me

:-(

[iwanty0urskullzxxx]

either i'm just a really bad person and my parents see me for what i am and tell it to me OR i'm actually NOT a bad person and it's actually my parents that are the problem...

[prose-among-the-trees]

You know what’s really scary?

Being influenced by a community because believing them is safer than understanding the truth.

I was not programmed. The people who experience organized abuse and psychological abuse are real, cult survivors are real. I wanted an explanation for why I was treated the way I was, I wanted to believe that my abuser was intentionally hurting me. That it was her fault in her entirety. I wanted to believe she intentionally created my did so I could be a better kid.

But the thing is, she was just clueless. I have to understand and accept that my abuser just thought she was being a great parent. It’s not fun, knowing that there’s nuance to what you’ve experienced. None of it was my fault, and all of it was hers, of course, but it was an unintentional fault that will affect me for the rest of my life.

I wanted so badly to believe that she was maliciously harming me, training me to be a perfect little solider of a child. I needed to believe there was a concrete cause to my cptsd and did instead of a bunch of little things that ruined my life.

And that? Dealing with the fact that I wasn’t programmed and it really was just mistakes from a mother who shouldn’t have been involved?

That’s fucking terrifying.

[proxy-after-dark]

idk how to even describe it but i hate my dad so much and if anyone looked in on it, they wouldn't know why because it doesn't seem like abuse. he seems nice to me right?? so then why do i hate him?? nobody will ever get it and i don't even get it myself. i hate him

[kitcats-kards]

sorry for crying! sorry for having basic fucking emotions! sorry for showing an ounce of happiness since you seem so determined to be angry all the time!

sorry for not hugging you because I can’t even trust you’ll be nice to me! sorry for making you yell at me, for making you angry, for making you unable to control yourself! sorry for existing! sorry for living! sorry for everything and being such a shitty daughter when I’m still a kid!

it’s just all my fucking fault!