hi kel!! i hope you’re doing well + thanks so much for your gorgeous recs 🤍 I was wondering if you have any favorite post-tsunami and/or post-lightning fics??
no worries if you can’t get to it have a lovely dayyyy
hi lovely! aww thanks so much 🥹 oooh tsunami arc my most beloved! i don’t think i’ve read much about the lighting strike though. i’ll put my recs below and as always anyone else is welcome to add on 🫶🏼
you’re gonna be ok kid— abow123456
making a new memory—mansikka @redlightsandicedtea
when you gimmie those ocean eyes—princessfbi @princessfbi
just gonna self promo below bc the tsunami arc is my favorite 🙈
Would love a Buddie fic where post-lawsuit with them slowly reconciling, Eddie and Buck take Chris to a water park. Everything seems ok until they come across this one wave pool with people screaming and laughing. Only Chris doesn't laugh and neither does Buck as they rush to each other. Eddie watches Buck tenderly hold Chris, comforting him despite how shaky he is himself. Eddie realizes how traumatized Buck is and that he failed to see. Eddie vows to take care of the two loves of his life.
OMG, yes. As soon as I read water park I immediately said to myself Tsunami PTSD-Panic Attack.
And although I love the idea of this being a Eddie-Chris-Buck fic, I equally have vibes for post lawsuit-still tender/strained relationship between Eddie and Buck where the 118 get called out to the water park - I'm picturing there's an injured person either in the wave pool or somehow stuck (maybe they have their foot or leg stuck in something) and Buck and Eddie get picked to go in to get the Vic, only some idiot put the wave controls back on and Buck just completely freezes, or stumbles, (and possibly goes under) and has a huge panic attack right in front of Eddie, Like maybe Buck, completely drenched , sputtering and choking on water, starts screaming 'Christopher' over and over. And it's only then that Eddie realises what's happening.
(literally 👇👇👇👇 the face he makes when he thinks he's back on the pier and not in a wave pool in a water park 👇👇👇👇)
how about some post tsunami/well incident angst on this thursday night <3
summary:
Buck was usually good at keeping himself busy, distracted—he had enough opened YouTube and Wikipedia tabs to keep him occupied for hours, plus there was the current pile of books he was trying to work his way through. None of these things were keeping his attention today though. His eyes kept falling back to the tv, the weather report still just as chilling as it had been hours ago. A storm was on the rise, one Buck wasn’t at all ready to face.
-or-
It’s the first storm since the tsunami and the well incident—Buck is fine, really
this is part 3 of my rainy day theater series: you can read the others here
—
Buck was sat on the couch, his fluffy Sherpa blanket wound tightly around him, the one Eddie had given him when they’d first moved in together.
‘Here, maybe this’ll keep you warm.’ Buck had looked to Eddie with a frown, pouting out his lower lip. ‘But that’s what you’re for.’ Eddie had rolled his eyes fondly, pulling Buck in close to him. ‘You’re my favorite dork, you know?’
Buck did. He only wished his personal heater was here now, the one that always softened the chill, Eddie’s warmth seeping right through to him.
It was mid-day, Buck not having moved much in the last few hours since it was his day off. Chris would’ve normally been there with him given it was a Saturday, but he’d gone to the Wilson’s for the night, him and Denny having planned their sleepover weeks ago.
Buck was usually good at keeping himself busy, distracted—he had enough opened YouTube and Wikipedia tabs to keep him occupied for hours, plus there was the current pile of books he was trying to work his way through. None of these things were keeping his attention today though. His eyes kept falling back to the tv, the weather report still just as chilling as it had been hours ago. A storm was on the rise, one Buck wasn’t at all ready to face.
It had little to do with Eddie being at work, and everything to do with Buck’s wandering thoughts.
Every time Buck so much as heard the word storm, or felt drops of rain trickle down onto his skin, his mind instantly went back to two things, two things that had continued to haunt him since the day they’d happened.
Tsunami. Well incident.
The tsunami had been at the start of his year, the vast waves crashing and overtaking the pier, nearly drowning him and Chris, taking several others with it. Sometimes, late at night, Buck’s dreams would feel much the same, taking him under, only for Buck to wake with a start, gasping for air.
As for the well—that had been something else entirely. He should’ve been the one to go down there to save the boy, not Eddie, Eddie who cut the line, trapping himself forty feet below the earth. Buck shivered just for the memory, his face instantly feeling wet with rainwater, nostrils filling with the fresh scent of mud; he could still feel it buried deep beneath his fingernails.
Buck pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up to cover his head before tugging the sleeves of it over his hands, tucking them in. The hoodie comforted him, Eddie being the one who bought it for him; he blushed just remembering how Eddie had said the pink color matched his complexion, perfectly accenting his adorable birthmark—Eddie’s words, not his.
He sighed heavily as the wind whipped along the windows rattling the frames. Speckles of rain trickled down from the sky before falling harshly to the ground. It was only a matter of time before the storm would take full effect, Buck wishing he could be anywhere but here, alone, left with nothing but his fearful thoughts.
Slipping one hand out, Buck grabbed for his phone, pulling up his most used thread of messages.
Buck: when’re you gonna be home?
Eddie: miss me already?
Buck: I always miss you
Eddie: I miss you too baby. I’ll be home later, ok?
Buck shivered again, Eddie’s words never ceasing to affect him, not even when they were simply typed out on a screen in front of him.
Eddie: everything ok?
I just don’t want to be alone because I’m suddenly afraid of anything that remotely resembles the two times I nearly lost our son…nearly lost you.
Buck: yea, just cold is all
Eddie: I see, you just want me for my warmth
Buck: I never stated otherwise
Eddie: I love you dork
Buck: I love you Eds. Be safe
Eddie: Always 💙
Tossing his phone down to the cushion beside him, Buck let another weighted sigh fall off his lips. Eddie wouldn’t be home for several more hours, hours that Buck would have to fill…alone.
He thought about calling Maddie, though he knew her and Chimney were having a date-night, something they didn’t get very often. He knew Maddie would answer, because she always did, but he didn’t want to bother her, not tonight.
If he called Hen, then Christopher would just worry something was wrong, and he didn’t want to put any unnecessary stress on the kid.
There was always Bobby and Athena, but they always read him like a book; Buck wouldn’t be able to escape their concern and questioning.
The truth of it was, there was only one person he wanted in this moment, and he couldn’t have them. Eddie always had a way of making him feel better. Sometimes, it felt like Eddie knew him better than even Buck knew himself.
After the well incident, Buck hadn’t been great at hiding his feelings, didn’t want to anymore.
He’d stayed with Eddie in the hospital until he’d been released to go home, refusing to leave his side even then. Eddie hadn’t pushed him away either, even going so far as to ask Buck to stay. And so, Buck had, the two of them curling around each other in Eddie’s bed, warming each other late into the night. Buck hadn’t left again after that night.
The dark room lit up with a flash of lighting, thunder crackling in the sky seconds later. Buck’s entire body trembled with anxiety, his heart beats ticking up. He could go to the bedroom, bury himself in the covers and hide away, but he hated being in their bed alone, without Eddie.
The first time they’d worked opposite shifts, both of them had complained of falling asleep without the other. They were desperately, hopelessly, disgustingly in love, and Buck didn’t care one bit; he loved Eddie with his entire heart.
He slunk further on the couch as another round of lighting and thunder hit, the weather report only becoming grimmer and gimmer.
Closing his eyes, Buck tried to shut it all out, burying his face between his blanket and hoodie, pretending it was Eddie wrapped around him instead.
Water rushed over him in heavy waves, pushing Buck back, drowning him as it went. His voice cracked as he cried out for Christopher, seeking out that mop of curls and red rimmed glasses. His bones ached, and he was covered in blood, though none of it fazed him; he had to find Chris.
As the water flowed back out to sea, Buck was suddenly submerged under a downpour, the dirt around him quickly thickening. Eddie was down there, being buried alive, left cold and alone, with a kid he was supposed to save. Buck dug his hands into the earth, grasping at anything he could, his hoarse voice calling out once more.
“Ed-ddie! Eddie! Eddie!”
His body thrashed from side to side while the rain threatened to consume him, soaking him through. He couldn’t get a grip on anything or anyone, not Christopher, not Eddie; he was alone, slipping further and further out to sea.
~
Eddie squinted his eyes as he tried to see the road through his fast-swiping windshield wipers.
The rain was beating down against his truck rapidly, the wind threatening to sway him from side to side.
Their shift had been a long one, rainstorms always brining out all the idiots; he couldn’t wait to get home to Buck. He wished Chris were there too, but he knew he was safe with Hen and Karen, no doubt having a blast in a fort that he and Denny probably begged to put together.
He’d texted Buck to let him know he was headed home, though he hadn’t heard back. It wasn’t unheard of for Buck to doze off, especially when Eddie worked late into the night, though he’d seemed a little off earlier when they’d been texting. Eddie couldn’t help to wonder if it had something to do with the storm.
They hated being apart from each other, especially when there was bad weather; it was unpredictable, and something they couldn’t control—they always felt safer when they were together and could have each other’s backs.
Pulling into his drive and next to Buck’s jeep, Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to be home and unscathed. He quickly ducked out of his truck and darted for the front door, slipping inside quietly so as not to disturb Buck. He didn’t get the chance to step out of his rain-soaked boots or jacket before he heard Buck’s voice calling out to him.
“Edd-ie! Eddie! EDDIE!”
It didn’t sound playful or lighthearted, Eddie’s adrenaline quickly picking up.
Buck was sprawled on the couch, blanket obviously thrown to the floor with his thrashing; he was having a nightmare.
Eddie approached the couch and crouched down to Buck’s level, bringing his hands to either side of Buck’s head, willing his boyfriend to stop squirming.
“Buck? Buck, can you hear me? Buck baby, wake up.”
He gently shook Buck a few times, tightening his grasp as Buck woke with a start gasping for air.
“Shhh it’s ok baby, you’re safe, I’m here.”
“Ed-Eddie?”
Buck’s voice sounded small and shattered, Eddie quickly gathering him into his arms, rubbing soothingly over his body.
“Yes, I’m here Ev, you’re safe. I’ve got you.”
Buck’s body shuddered for a few minutes until he finally relaxed into Eddie’s hold. Eddie was about to pull away to look him over when a loud crack of thunder boomed in the sky, Buck only burying himself further into Eddie.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok. Talk to me Buck, what’s going on?”
Neither of them was strangers to nightmares, but they hadn’t had any for a while, nor had anything particularly traumatizing happened lately.
“I just-I-I needed to make sure you were ok.”
Eddie nodded into him, squeezing Buck against him to let him know he was there, and not going anywhere.
“I’m fine Buck. Work went smooth, no losses. Everyone’s safe.”
Buck shook his head in acknowledgement, though he didn’t say anything.
This time, when Eddie pulled back, Buck let him, Eddie getting his first glance at his murky blues, ones that were red-rimmed and tear stained.
Eddie reached a thumb up to brush some of the moisture away, Buck leaning into the touch.
“What was your nightmare about?”
Buck looked away from Eddie then, shrugging his shoulders; it was what he always did when he was trying to deflect.
“I don’t—don’t remember.”
Eddie held in his sigh, leaning forward to press a kiss over Buck’s birthmark. Buck would talk when he was ready; Eddie learned it never did any good to push him, especially when he was this emotionally exhausted.
“I need to take a quick shower. You could—join me, or wait in our bed?”
Eddie was surprised when Buck chose the latter; he knew Buck didn’t want to be alone, especially when Eddie had only just gotten home.
Even so, Eddie guided them both to the bedroom, tucking Buck into bed with another kiss to his forehead before making his way to the shower. He made sure to keep it short, having his own fears of being too far from Buck at the moment.
After dressing in some sweats and a Henley, Eddie made his way back out, eyes instantly landing on Buck.
Buck was laid on his back, just as Eddie had left him, his eyes wide as he looked to the storm just beyond the windows. Eddie slid into bed next to him, pushing right into Buck’s space as he gathered Buck into his arms. Buck molded right to him, all but climbing into Eddie’s lap as he tangled their limbs together.
Eddie settled in to the touch, grateful to have Buck in his arms. He figured they’d talk about it in the morning, though Buck’s tired voice came out between them.
“I uh, there hasn’t been a storm since-since uh…”
Buck trailed off, and Eddie was finally able to connect the dots.
“Since the tsunami or the well incident?”
“Yea.”
Eddie tightened his grip on Buck then, pulling him impossibly closer.
“I’m sorry Buck, I didn’t—I know those were both hard days for you.”
“I thought I lost him Eds, and-and you.”
“But you didn’t. You saved us both, and we’re all safe, promise.”
Buck was silent for a moment, squirming in Eddie’s grip before answering.
“I didn’t save you…”
Well, at least he’d finally gotten past the part that he didn’t save Chris, because he had, and both Eddie and Chris refused to see it any other way.
“You did everything you could that day. You tried to save me with your bare hands Buck.”
Eddie had seen the video; one too many times if you asked him. It always broke his heart to see how desperately Buck had clawed at the ground trying to get to him, save him.
“You still helped pull me back, you know?”
Buck looked to him with wide eyes, not quite believing it.
“I-I did?”
Eddie pressed the pad of his thumb to Buck’s chin, dragging it over the skin there softly.
“Yep. When I was—trapped down there, I thought about my family, about Chris, about you—us. All of my memories gave me the strength to get back, to fight. I’d never stop fighting for my family Buck.”
A tear dropped down from Buck’s eyes then, Eddie gently sweeping it away while Buck reached to do the same with him.
“I can’t promise that I’ll always make it home, or that nothing bad will ever happen, but I promise to always keep fighting, and to never give up.”
Buck surged forward, their lips connecting in the most tender kiss, Eddie completely giving himself to Buck, the man he loved.
“I promise to never stop fighting either Eds, no matter what. You’re my home, you-you and Christopher.”
Eddie twisted them around so that he could hold Buck from behind, resting his head over Buck’s, their eyes both on the storm outside, the one that didn’t seem like it’d be letting up anytime soon.
They snuggled in close, Buck pressing back into Eddie’s space, seeking his warmth and comfort, Eddie easily letting him in.
Not all storms passed with ease. Some left damage in their wake, some cleared on their own, and others, well, others were weathered together.
—tagging squad below, let me know if you wanna be added or removed <3
Summary: The 118's actions have devastating consequences.
Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Male OC!
Warnings: Suicide, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Depression, Post-lawsuit, Past Abuse in reference to Buck's treatment at the 118
A/N: This is not edited. I wrote this fic at like midnight. I'll post the reactions and aftermath at some point.
He was tired. Tired of the glares and harsh words from the people he called family. Tired of going home to an empty apartment because Luca was overseas on some mission that was classified. Tired of being the man behind when all he wanted was to save people. To do the one thing he was good at. He left a voicemail for Luca and one to both Luca’s twin sister and brother in Texas. His grip is tight on the railing but not from a fear of failing. No, he had resigned himself that he was going to die but only when he’s ready. He hopes Chris will forgive him, but he had written him a letter and had left it on his counter with Carla’s name on it. He knew she would give it to him. Luca would be pissed and heartbroken but he had a good support system in their old team, his family, and his crew in Austin. He had left letters for the crew of the 118 as well. Left them on the counter as well. He had written a letter for every person in his life that he loved. It was up to them if they read it or not.
He lets out a breath when he hears a car stop. “Sir, please step away back over the railing.” He felt like he could cry. He knew that voice. “I’m good right where I am, ‘Thena.” He calls opening his eyes to look down. It was about a 40ft drop into freezing water so if the impact didn’t kill him then the hypothermia and subsequent drowning would. “Buck?” He hears her come closer. “What are you doing here, baby?” She asks and he shrugs. “I’m tired ‘Thena.” He tells her as a firetruck pulls up. “Anyone I can call?” She asks stepping closer and he shakes his head. “Stay where you are ‘Thena.” He warns and she stops moving. “Just you Bobby. Keep the others back.” He hears her speak into her radio. The 118 must have responded. Fuck. It was bad enough that he was going to jump in front of Athena but now his crew. The ones who have thrown insults and petty jabs his way. The ones who had a hand in causing this. His grip loosens and Athena lets out a strangled noise. “It’s Okay, ‘Thena.” He tries to reassure her.
“Why’d you have the rest of the crew stay back, Athena?” He hears Bobby, no captain Nash say his tone weary. He knows exactly when Captain Nash spots him. His breath audibly hitching. “Buck?” The use of his nickname and the concern in his voice has him letting out a harsh laugh. “It’s Buck now, is it?” He says finally turning around to face him. “Buck, you don’t have to do this.” He says stepping closer, but Athena holds her arm out. “Why should I listen to you? You’ve done nothing but belittle me since I got back. This isn’t your house, so I don’t have to follow your rules.” His voice is calm, and he looks over to where Hen, Chim, and Eddie have gotten out of the truck. He can see the horror in Hen’s eyes, and he feels kind of bad. She was the one who he confided in the most about being away from Luca. They had eventually bonded over their similar sexualities and marriages to people of the same sex.
“Eddie get me a harness.” Captain Nash says and he sees Eddie falter for a second before following the order. Chim stands beside Hen watching with wide eyes. No doubt trying to figure out how to explain what happened to Maddie. Hen is gripping her med bag tightly. “Think about the people that love you, Buck. Think about your family.” Captain Nash says and he turns his gaze once more to his captain. “My family consists of Luca Rizzoli and his family.” He says and Captain Nash shakes his head. “You’ve got us Buck.” Eddie says as he hands over the harness to his captain. He lets out another humorless laugh. “I’ve not had you since the bombing. I thought you were my best friend. But friends don’t call each other exhausting or shove them around. Family doesn’t belittle anything that’s ever happened to a member of said family.” Eddie looks guilty at his words. “Captain Nash, I used to think of you as a father figure. Now, I see that your no better than my own damn father who didn’t give a single shit about me. In a way this is your fault. You chose to lie to me about what happened. So the only way I saw to get back to my family was to fight for it. I turned down 7 million dollars to get back to my family. It was never even about the money. I just wanted you back.” He pauses to take a breath before continuing. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and I accepted that you all would be mad at me. I just didn’t expect for it to last a few months and involve being assaulted. You chose to leave me as the man behind. At first, I was fine with it. I knew you didn’t trust me. I figured I’d need to earn your trust back, but you never gave me the chance. Then after awhile it just started to hurt. You had taken away my ability to help people in a way I loved. I wasn’t being shot at or have the threat of getting blown up and I wasn’t in some active warzone halfway across the world.” Captain Nash had put on the harness as he was talking but never took his eyes of him.
“Please, let us make this right.” Captain Nash pleads with him, but he shakes his head resolved to do what he had come here for. “Think of Christopher. That kid loves you like you’re his father too. Think of what it will do to him if you die.” Eddie says. “That’s a low blow, Eddie. I did think of him. All the time. I wondered if he had nightmares from the tsunami. Wondered if there was any way I could help him, but you kept me away.” He seethes but his voice is still level. “I’m sick and tired of thinking of and putting other’s before myself. Call me selfish but I just don’t give a shit anymore. I’m tired of being other people’s punching back both physically and emotionally. I’m done.” He sees Hen and Chim start moving toward him. “I’m sorry but I just am.” With those final words he pushes himself away from the railing letting go.
The air is cool against his skin as he falls closing his eyes a thinking of his husband. He can hear the screams of the people he once called family, but the sound disappears as soon as he hits the water and his world fades to black.
The 118 stand shocked as their youngest member just jumped of the bridge. Henrietta Wilson falls to her knees as a broken wail leaves her. Her partner Howard Han stands in total shock trying to make himself believe that the man he considered as a brother has just ended his life. Edmundo Diaz has crumpled to his knees as well sobs leaving him as the reality of what he had done had cost him his best friend and the man his son considers as a second father. Athena Grant stands with her hand over her mouth and tears streaming down her face. It was like May’s overdose all over again but this time she wouldn’t be saving her child. Robert Nash is half leaning over the railing with his arm outstretched for the man that had become like a son to him. Guilt consumed each member of the 118 from their actions in the last few months. Athena’s guilt coming from her failure to save her boy. Each of them wondering how they were going to tell their family and how they were going to tell them it was their fault. How it was their actions that drove him to take his own life. “Get water and rescue down here to search the waters. I want his body recovered.” Captain Nash’s voice is void of any emotion as he gives the command. It prompts the others into action but a cloud now hung over them and its their own fault.
I know I read a 9-1-1 fanfic on ao3 where buck goes to get a tattoo with chimney i think, and gets a just keep swimming dory tattoo. It’s set after the tsunami but I can’t find it anywhere and I think I might have made it up. If anyone has read it, even if you don’t have it bookmarked, can you just let me know so I know I’m not going crazy. If it doesn’t exist then I know what my next fan fic I write will be.
Any comments or reposts will be so so so welcome!
Little change from cute animals, you get Christopher instead!
Buck’s been staring at his loft’s ceiling for who knows how long. He’s supposed to be sleeping, because he’s exhausted, and everything hurts and sleep helps, but he can’t seem to settle. He can’t seem to get comfortable, to get to any position where his leg doesn’t hurt or the stitches on his forearm don’t hurt or his ribs don’t hurt-there is nothing to satisfy all the aches from the tsunami. For not the first time, he wishes he’d taken Eddie up on his offer to go back to his house after that first night, because then he could be laying on Eddie’s bed, which, while probably not better than Buck’s, came with those memory foam pillows that were absolutely perfect.
AO3 Link
And question: The Christmas story of this 'verse is written and proofed. Would you like it a) the week beginning the 14th or b) the week of Christmas?
All Buck wants is a family to belong to, to love someone to stay, and every single one of Eddie’s grand romantic gestures has been about giving Buck a family.
