#queer aces

[wandererslullabi]

Making troll blogs or finding young uninformed aspecs to prove that aspec people are anti-gay, racist, or anti-trans is so incredibly disrespectful to the gay/mspec, poc, and trans people in the aspec community.

What are you really trying to accomplish by proving our own communities are stock full of people who hate us? Why are you so determined to give trans, gay/mspec, and aspecs of color no community to go to? Are you planning on giving us the support we need to deal with all that “prevalaunt homophobia/racism/transphobia” in the aspec community, or are you just planning on tearing the aspec community apart and leaving us in the dust?

Don’t pretend you’re trying to help us. Don’t pretend you’re an ally to us if your allyship only extends to proving our own community hates us.

[queerascat]

IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}

…wouldn’t it be great if there was more of a sense of intersectional community, comradery, and identity among aces who are also bi? among aces who are also gay? among aces who are also …

...wouldn't it be great if there was more of a sense of intersectional community, comradery, and identity among aces who are also bi? among aces who are also gay? among aces who are also sans romantic orientation? among aces who are simultaneously a part of any other minority community (sexuality-based or not) in addition to also being ace...?

as i sit at my desk idly reflecting on things that have nothing to do with work, my mind wanders as it often does to the topic of intersectionality. more specifically, to the distinct lack of it that i often feel when engaging with ace spaces. i've noticed that whenever i do approach my ace identity through the lens of intersectionality-- which is literally always, mind you-- is when i'm most conscious of there being nowhere and no one for me to then turn to and engage with apart from the ace community at large and sometimes a friend who happens to share that particular intersection of experiences / identities. however, thanks largely in part to my own social ineptness, there are times when that isn't enough.

a lot of times when that isn't enough.

as a more or less "seasoned" ace finding themself in this position, what of those who do not even have what i do...? those who are so deep in 'The Discourse' as to not even feel that they have an ace community to turn to at all...? or 'baby aces' who may be new to navigating ace spaces and may find themselves struggling to reconcile a pre-existing identity with their newfound ace identity...?

i've thought about this idly on and off for a while, never making any sort of 'progress' (whatever that would even mean in this context) as i continually lack the time, energy, and/or mental wherewithal to devote to such thoughts. however, seeing as how these thoughts don't seem to be going away and i am likely to have more time to dwell on them in the near future, i'm attempting to organize my thoughts into jumbled words now in the hopes of gaining insight from others to build off of later...

continue reading on QueerAsCat.com.

[aro-goddess-artemis]

aphobes: i hate seeing cishet aces everywhere they aren't lgbtq

me, an aroace: i find it sad that within the already very small representation aces get, almost all of them are heteroromantic asexuals because they want to say to the straight audience "hey, look, these people are actually pretty normal! they have a straight relationship just like you but they don't want sex for some weird reason! but sometimes they have sex anyway to please their poor partner lol" while completely ignoring aros, sga aces and trans/nb aces in an attempt to "humanise" them and make them seem "normal"

[epochryphal]

awesome hilarious post:

so i was in the shower when suddenly it hit me

an ace comic using homestuck ((oh if only i could draw))

picture if you will Lord English in the first panel, finger to his chin in contemplative thought, an ace flag behind his head. the caption reads: "HOW CAN I INVADE LGB SPACES........"

...second panel, LE's arms are extended triumphantly to beckon towards all the rainbow regalia surrounding him, the rainbow on his coat going wild: "WHEN I AM ALREADY QUEER????"

(alternate version for non-queer-id'd aces: second panel, LE's arms are extended towards a gathering of people of diverse gender presentations wearing rainbows, and the background appears to be an lgb center: "WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE????")

[epochryphal]

rattier replied to your post: privilege and -isms and aces

and the thing is too, it’s always about heteroromantic aces. heteroromantic aces are such a minority in the ace community it’s almost comical. i’ve only met maybe one 100% heteroromantic ace.

yes.  i understand kneejerk responses, i see where they're coming from, but yo folks, this has caused you problems before, let's talk identity vs behavior, and lived experience, and also let's stop focusing so hard on a minor issue that we exclude all aces who don't "look" queer and have an "analogous" experience?  because that is totally what keeps happening - "i don't have a problem with LGBT aces" is, totally not looking at what An Ace Experience (TM) looks like.  and it really quickly turns into erasure (you're LGB[t], you just don't have/want/something-or-other sex).

it's the red herring that enables queer allosexual folks to ignore having to rework their mental framework.  and i get hanging onto it!  having experienced some serious marginalization and oppression and awful shit on the basis of your sexual orientation, having to restructure how that works, and possibly break that down to discuss different sorts of privilege/advantages/whatever (experience vs perception is already difficult for many LG folks w.r.t. B folks)... to add in that maybe just for experiencing this incredibly hated-on sexual attraction, you might be privileged over somebody else?  yeah a virulent reaction is, expectable.

which is why talking about privilege and assigning it by identity (and even by experience) is i think not so useful right now, not where most people are currently at.  instead talking about entrenched narratives and -ism's in society, and extrapolating to how:

allosexism primarily affects ace folks

heteroromantism primarily affects queer folks & aromantic folks (here broadening queer allosexual folks to possibly include queer ace folks)

romantism primarily affects aromantic folks; and then maybe extrapolating to how

heterosexism may in fact affect both queer allosexual folks & ace folks.