#allosexism

[allosexistnonsense]

accepting aros and aces in the queer community must also mean accepting that the attraction we might feel is different from the allo mainstream, that if we have other orientations like lesbian, pan, het, bi etc., they might be defined by attraction types other than romantic or sexual, or may not specify attraction type at all, that were accepted into bi+/gay communities even if our attraction doesn't follow the allo norm.

accepting aces is more than accepting we feel little to no sexual attraction and "well, they wanna date x gender so they're fine". accepting aros is more than accepting we feel little to no romantic attraction and "well, they wanna fuck x gender, so they're fine".

accepting aros and aces also means accepting us into bi+ and gay communities if we identify as such, even if our attraction isn't about dating or fucking, even if our attraction isn't action-driven, even if our attraction is vague, hypothetical or hard to define, even if sexual and romantic attraction aren't present at all.

aro/ace inclusion is more than just welcoming us into the general queer community, it's also welcoming us into orientation subcommunities we might be part of.

ultimately truly accepting us into the queer community means dismantling allonormativity.

[themaveriqueagenda]

so, as a bi aro/ace maverique, i have noticed and talked at length about how exorsexism, allosexism & monosexism all work in similar ways because it's ultimately oppression based on not fitting into an established binary of gender and/or orientation.

and i'm wondering if intersex people have noticed commonalities between intersexism and any of these other things. i'm perisex so i obviously can't speak on that, but intersex people are oppressed by the idea of a sex binary.

i'm asking this because i feel like it would be useful to have a word for these kinds of queer oppressions that are based on binaries simply because they are so similar in how they function, and because we need solidarity between all these groups. (we need solidarity between all queer people obviously, but as groups constantly erased and silenced by binaries, we need to have it especially, because it doesn't make sense for e.g. a pan person to tear down an aro with rhetoric that often also gets used against pan people).

and obviously i don't just wanna create a word without any input of a group that may also be affected.

[aspec-antagonism]

i remember mentioning tertiary attractions to my friends. they asked what they were, so i explained it the best i could. im happy to explain this stuff. aspec labels are pretty niche, so i like spreading awareness. i was met with insults from my own friends for trying to explain lesser-known queer terms to them. they're all allo if that wasn't obvious. that's aspec antagonism. folks, tertiary attractions aren't dumb. even if you don't get it, you don't have to be an ass. by dismissing tertiary attractions, you are actively dismissing the experiences of aspec folks and you're minimizing the importance of other attractions, which is both reinforcing relationship hierarchies and plain amisic. some allos may not realize that there's more beyond romantic and sexual attraction, but that does not mean that those experiences are insignificant.

[rashitalksabunch]

Alr gng I'm aroace and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I've been bullshitting my way through life up till this point,

I need some nice allos to explain to me some things

what is the difference between platonic and romantic feelings for yall

how do you decide if someone is 'hot'

Thank you so much darlings

[poemsandghosts]

a question for all the allos because i still havent understood how the fuck sexual attraction is defined. when someone talks about sexual attraction, as in "being sexually attracted to someone", do they actually want to have sex with them? or is it only a thing like "oh my god that person is so prettyyy". like, do you actually want to have sex?? when someone is "hot" do you actually mean you are aroused or just that they are super cool and pretty and badass??

[morning-frostie]

hot take: krusie is an example of people not believing that u can be someone's platonic soulmate/needing a perfectly good platonic relationship to be romantic because of subconcious allosexist reasons. additonally, i would go so far as to say that in my opinion it is also an example of subconcious misogyny in some cases due to the canon yuri ship that directly contradicts krusie. this is not to say that i do not fuck with krusie, it is a sick as fuck ship and people should ship whatever they want for their own personal preferences and reasons, but based on my own fandom observations this is what i believe happened in krusie's (same for many other popular ships in various fandoms) case, at least for a lot of its shippers.

[soulllest-main]

butterflies? WRONG appendix burst

[redwings-mechanic]

"Sex is what makes us human!"

No, that's just part of the limbic system. All vertebrates have that.