#questioning demisexual

[grape-jucie-dog]

Happy gay month everyone :3 here's my pride pfp

We've got:

Omnisexual

Non binary

Demiromantic/Demisexual (I think these fit?? I'm still questioning low-key)

[aspeccharactersoftheday]

Lily from Endless Winter is questioning demisexual!

[questioning-culture-is]

Hello!

I'm having doubts about my sexual orientation, because frankly, I rarely ever find myself looking at someone and fantasizing about having sex with them. Most of the time, I'm just fascinated by how good they look or how great their personality is, and sometimes, I have this flash of thoughts, picturing me and the said person holding hands, kissing, getting married etc. There are also times when I look at someone and get turned on, but those happen rarely, and most of them don't include the fantasizing.

However, I did find myself imagining some romantic, even sexual scenarios with people I've known for a while and developed deep feelings for. The only sexual dream I've had included one of these people...all the other dreams that could've been going in that direction ended up with me somehow backing out.

I know I'm biromantic, but I've been also thinking I might be demisexual. At the same time though, I'm thinking that maybe I'm just scared and careful, as I do have a quite bit of trust issues.

Any kind of help with this would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for being there for the people who need guidance in their identity, and I hope you have a great day! <3

this sounds like you're probably demisexual!! as to being less trusting, the ace community has always included people who are ace because of trauma or other specific reasons, demiace is no exception to this. therefore you can identify as demisexual whether it has to do with your trust issues or not.

[raavenb2619]

Can i be polyam, aro, and demisexual?

Yep! 

It’s fairly uncontroversial that someone can be both aromantic and demisexual. Perhaps a little more confusing is being demisexual and polyamorous, but there’s nothing about being demisexual that means that you can’t be polyamorous and demisexual polyam people definitely exist. 

Some people are confused by the idea of someone being both aromantic and polyamorous, but it makes sense to me that they’re compatible. Some aros are interested in queerplatonic relationships, and there’s nothing about a queerplatonic relationship that says it has to involve exactly two people. Also, some aros like having sex, and of those aros, some of them are interested in having multiple informed and consenting partners. You can take either of those ideas of how an aro could by polyam and add demisexuality into the mix and it still makes sense, so there isn’t any reason someone couldn’t be polyam, aro, and demisexual. 

[sugarsshitart]

Guess this is my contribution for pride month lmao-

Feel free to use this on whatever profile you want, you don’t even have to credit me.

I just whipped this up because I’m questioning my sexuality, but if there’s anything I know for certain is that I never really cared about gender when it comes to love interests and that the person in question would need to get real close and personal with me before I properly fall in love/want to engage in sexual activities with said person in question.

I’m not entirely sure what I am so uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh-

If any of y’all feel the same way then there you go you’re welcome.

[aspeccharactersoftheday]

Kai from KAI is questioning demisexual!

[questioning-culture-is]

um, hi.

so, i’ve always been back and forth with my sexuality, and eventually i settled on omniromantic asexual, but now im not sure.? i’ve never really felt sexually attracted to anyone, but today, i was in a dressing room with another girl and i just got this weird feeling? like, i see this kinda stuff online all the time, but when she changed in front of me, i was just kinda?? not processing?? but i dont think i have an emotional bond with her, i mean, we are friends, but we’re not like ghreat friends. i’ve thought about kissing her once, but i always thought that i only liked the idea of it, not actually doing it, but now??

so am i still asexyal? was that sexual attraction, or aesthetic attraction?

am i demisexual? what’s an emotional bond?

i dont know, and i really need help. thanks, and sorry for bothering y’all.

i don't think i can tell you what kind of attraction you experienced from that description, especially since everyone experiences attraction differently. Wanting to kiss someone could be sensual, sexual, or romantic attraction.

being casual friends with someone could absolutely count as an emotional bond. They don't have to be the most important person to you to qualify for that, so it's quite likely that you are demisexual.

[raavenb2619]

So, I was talking to my partner, who was saying how she's excited to experiment sexually during her year abroad (we're in an open long distance relationship, mostly for her, so it wasn't a deal breaker for me). Anyway she asked me if I ever wanted to do that, and I said of course not, cause I could never see myself having sex with people I don't know emotionally. So she asked how I know I'm gay, and I said "well, there's a difference between finding someone attractive and wanting to have (Next>)

(<from prev) to have sex with them, right?" And she seemed not to understand. And now looking back, I realize I might not even be sexually attracted to her (long distance, haven't had sex yet). Like, I love her and care about her, and we've been in a relationship for years, but now that I think about it, I realize I don't really fantasize about sex, with her or otherwise. I fantasize about settling down, cuddling, being sweet with eachother, but not sex. Am I asexual? I'm just really confused

I can’t tell you if you’re ace or not, because the only person who can figure that out is you. That said, here’re some things that might help. 

Have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone, or looked at someone and wanted to have sex with them? If not, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re asexual. If you have, it’s still possible that you might have a place in the ace community. For example, if you’ve only ever been sexually attracted to people that you were emotionally close with, you might be demisexual, which is an identity that’s included under the umbrella of asexuality. 

Although society often talks about attraction as a monolithic experience (which might be the way your partner thinks about it), you might find it more helpful to think about multiple different types of attraction. For example, you might not be sexually attracted to someone, but you could be romantically attracted to them, or find them aesthetically pleasing/attractive. There’s no one set way to categorize attraction, but the categories I find helpful are sexual, romantic, platonic, aesthetic, sensual, and sometimes alterous. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.