how does she know who I am? and why does she give a damn about me?
nerd!gf!ellie, masc!afab!reader, kind of loser!ellie, nsfw, suggestivity, the last of us, strap (ellie!receiving), dirty talk, degradation, the pet name "puppy," ownership themes, teasing, sub!ellie, dom!reader, bottom!ellie, top!reader, whiny!ellie, pwp
nerd!ellie who flinches every time you move closer. not out of fear—no, she's been waiting for this—but because she's the most nervous she's ever been in her life. painfully, pathetically nervous.
you slide off her glasses carefully and stare into her now darkened green eyes, taking a moment to relish in how flustered she was.
"relax, you look like you're gonna have a panic attack." you teased with a laugh.
"I am relaxed," she lies, giving you a few frantic nods to try and sell it. "mhm," she murmurs to herself as she tries to keep her composure, "'m relaxed."
she's absolutely not.
your fingers drop lower and slip under her tank top. her pale skin is cold to the touch and a little wet with sweat, her abs tensing as she squirmed under your touch.
"so needy," you observed, catching the way her thighs clenched in anticipation.
"'m not." she whined. she is.
you click your tongue and pull back, pouting in faux disappointment. "aw, I guess I'm gonna have to stop then. I mean, you clearly don't need me," you said jutting out your bottom lip, moving your hands off of her body and to either side of her on the bed.
"no! god—no, just—" ellie whines, reaching up to grab your left wrist and put your hand back on her stomach herself.
"just what?"
"..."
you raise your brows, waiting.
"just stop teasing me."
"there's a good girl." you smile.
her body shivered from the cold air when you tugged her underwear and sleep pants down, the fabric bunching at her ankles.
you dipped two fingers into her still clothed cunt and then pulled them close to your eye, spreading them to examine her slick.
her breath hitched at the lewd sight, and her knees spread wider without meaning to. "so wet," you exhaled, eyes flicking back down to hers with a slight smile.
"you're being mean." she looks at you with the most desperate, wrecked expression you've ever seen.
"awww, but you like when I'm mean, ellie." you tilt your head, making her whine.
"you're taking too long she quipped back."
big mistake.
you practically tore her underwear off and pulled your pants down, wasting no time to pop the head of your strap into her.
"wai–ah! I–I'm not ready, 't's so big."
"no, since you're so impatient you clearly want all of it."
with one rough thrust, you filled ellie to the brim. she scratched at your back and let out a borderline pornographic scream as the head of your cock kissed her cervix, a bulge forming underneath the skin of her stomach.
when you ceased your actions and paused, you half expected her to sigh in relief but her response was much more amusing.
"what're you doing? move."
"fine." and so you did, making sure to be as rough as possible and ruin her inside and out as you snapped your hips to meet hers.
"h-hate you. you're so mean to me," she mewls with furrowed brows, her lips parted and slightly tilting downward into a frown.
"oh yeah? you hate me?" a particularly harsh thrust. "is that why you've been stalking all my social media posts at night? why you want me to own you?"
"you've bee—nmh! fuck—s-seeing that? oh, god–need you! 'm all yours, please," she managed to whimper out between moans, eyes rolling back as she gripped the sheets.
"awwww that's cute, you thought I wouldn't? you're so stupid baby," you groaned, pounding into her faster.
"mh–no! I'm gonna, gonna–"
cum leaked all over your strap as you both came in sync, your body collapsing onto ellie's as you finished, strap still buried in her.
"such a good puppy," you cooed at her completely blissful expression, green eyes glassy without a thought behind them.
proof read?: not really i wanted to this out out fast asf.
notes: just finished watching the finale of stranger things 5, i enjoyed it a lot. this contains spoilers from it, read with caution.
“Bye guys! I’ll see you all tomorrow. Don’t forget about homework, okay? Homework, homework, homework!” I exclaimed, as the kids exited my classroom.
I sighed happily, genuinely at peace with my job as a teachers assistant. It brought me a certain level of happiness and joy, that past jobs never gave me.
It took me a while, but being a teacher is the goal, but being a teachers assistant, isn’t so bad either.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Hey? You okay?” Jess asked me, noticing I had stopped helping her grade the papers, and zoned out.
“Yeah. I’m okay, sorry. Just thinking.”
“About the new baseball coach?”
“No!” I yelled out and she gave a pointed look at me. “I mean, uh.. that wouldn’t be very professional for me to do that, if I was, but I wasn’t!”
She stifled a laugh, and kept grading. “It’s not like he’s a stranger to you, you too were friends in high-school, no?”
“I mean, yeah we were but-”
“Then ask him out already. The worst that could happen is for him to stop talking to you ever again.”
“Gee, thanks. That totally makes me want to ask him now.”
“I’m just messing, but you should. It would make you feel better. Even if he said ‘no,’ and if he does? That just means he’s not the one. And that’s okay, there’s plenty of cute baseball coaches out there.”
“Oh my— I can’t with you.” I said, trying to hold in my laughter and found myself not walking to my car, like I normally would.
My body drifting its way over to the baseball field.
Maybe the curse of Hawkins was still here and forcing me to ask my crush out..
“Let’s go, boys! Baseball ready! Baseball ready!” Steve clapped and called out to them, wanting to hype them up and get their heads in the game. “No mental mistakes!”
“All right, Thomas. Let’s go. Here we go, man! Let’s go!”
I drug my fingers alone the metal fencing as I made way over to Steve. He didn’t notice my presence yet, and I didn’t want distract him.
“There we go! That’s what I’m taking about.” He exclaimed and he only just noticed I was there when I cheered.
“Hey!” He said, a smile creeping up on his face, just before he came over to hug me. Steve turned to the other coach and asked him to take over while him and I caught up.
“What are you doing here?”
“I just finished grading papers, and I wanted to see how you were doing. Is that okay?”
“No, no, yeah, yeah. That’s perfectly, perfect.” He said and immediately knew he wasn’t making sense. “I mean— I mean, uh..” He trailed off mentally beating himself up.
“Sorry, it’s great to see you. I’m happy you’re here.”
I shook my head no, dismissing his ‘sorry,’ then It was silent for a beat, so I decided to break the ice. “How are the kids?”
“They’re doing good, they are. There’s been a few bumps in the road to perfection, but other than that..” I watched his facial expressions, and I could tell he was truly in his element.
“You love coaching these kids, don’t you?”
“I do, I’ve been searching for something would fit me, you know? And I’m 99.9% sure.. it’s this. This right here.”
“I’m glad, you’ve found something that you resonate with, Steve Harrington.”
“What about you? How have you been?”
“I’m good, I’m good…” I said, trailing off. “Actually, I didn’t just come here to check up on you.”
“Oh?”
“I was going to ask if you… wanted to go out with me sometime?”
“Oh! Of course.. I— I’d love to.”
“Good! Good, I’m glad. How does Enzo’s sound?”
“Perfectly perfect.” He said, doubling down on his earlier sentence, to wish I shook my head at and smiled at him. “Pick you up at 8?”
“I’d love that.”
“Until then.” He said, with a tip of his baseball cap, earning a slight chuckle from me.
I turned and couldn’t hide the smile that was now creeping up on my face.
I glanced back and noticed he was waited for a minute before going back to coaching, he seemed lost in thought.
I got in my car and sighed happily.
Happy I got a date with the cute new baseball coach.
Warnings: Fem!Reader / ⚠️ Mention of weapons / Obsessive love / Mention of blood ⚠️.
The author does not endorse or share ideals with the behaviors mentioned below. If you need psychological help, please seek it.
She also assumes no responsibility for the reader. This is rated for young adults, people who should already understand their morals.
If you don't like what follows, please just ignore it.
Note: [Y/n] will be used to refer to the reader.I originally posted this in Spanish, and English isn't my native language, so I'm using a translator to translate it.
𝑴𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕
Love
This kind of Yandere wouldn’t hesitate for a second to swear that everything they do is completely justified because they love you. They’d do anything to prove it.
Did they kill someone? Of course they did—only so you’d understand how far they’d go for your love.
They’re not a high-danger Yandere; they love you and wouldn’t hurt you… more than necessary.
But if you ever break their heart, even once, you’ll be living in hell.
An angel… just like Lucifer once was.
Yanderes: Deuce, Trey, Jack, Kalim, Epel, Silver, and Sebek.
Obsession
This type of Yandere would be right on your heels twenty-four hours a day, every single day of the year.
There are two kinds of obsessive Yanderes:
✤ Those who hide in the shadows so you won’t notice them.
✤ And those shameless ones who don’t care about being glued to you, knowing everything you do.
In both cases, these boys have their eyes locked on you. They’ll do whatever it takes to gather information about you—no matter how immoral, illegal, or forbidden it may be.
They won’t hesitate to cross your personal boundaries; they’re convinced they’re all you need. You shouldn’t leave them… or it’ll be your downfall.
Or theirs.
Yanderes: Cater, Ruggie, Azul, Jade, Rook, and Idia.
Possession
Loneliness. That will be your life after this Yandere calls you theirs. They wouldn’t hesitate for even a second to eliminate anyone who dares to touch you, see you, or even call your name.
You’re their property, and if it’s necessary for you to understand that, they’ll make sure you do.
They’d mark you—a bite, a scar, a collar with their name—anything that screams you already have an owner.
They couldn’t care less about what you want.
You are theirs.
And it’s over.
Yanderes: Riddle, Ace, Leona, Floyd, Jamil, Vil, Malleus, and Lilia.
hi! could you please write jason the toymaker, laughing jack, and candypop for the yandere prompt?:3
YANDERE HEADCANONS WITH THE CARVINAL TRIO
Ft: My vers of Jason the Toymaker, Laughing Jack and Candy Pop(credits for the images to the OPs on Pinterest)
Jason the Toymaker
Yandere level/intensity: 8/10
Love language: Giving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation(receiving)
• Once this man lays his eyes on you it's over, they're never leaving you again
• He will disregard his job for you, has gotten in trouble with his fellow crps for this
• Once he has you he is never letting you leave, will whine if you have to go shopping and finds a reason to hate every last one of your friends
• If Slender was to find out about you and order your death his genuine response would be "Pardon me Slenderman sir..but I'd like to see you try."
• Started making you your favorite kind of toy(doll or stuffie) immediately after seeing you, would send them to you in a cliche "secret admirer" way, calls those toys in particular your children
• He would bring you around certain crps but would not bring you to live in the mansion, you would live in his workshop with him and his toys
• He would not trust you around the other two in the carnival trio, especially Jack, if you're ever around while they also are you are ALWAYS holding his hand, he trusts Candy around you if anything but Jack is a 100% no like..he'll never leave you alone with Candy, or anyone really, but he will not even allow you in the same building as Jack
• This man is possibly worse than Tobias when it comes to his self esteem and needs a constant stream of verbal and physical love to not loose his fucking mind due to his own thoughts
• His favorite time? Cuddle time of course! This man LOVES his physical attention, he's very anti touch with every person around him except for you so be prepared to have absolutely no personal space anymore, the bathroom will become your sanctuary-
• If you ever tried to leave him he would not be the type to kill you, not his precious, never his precious, he WOULD break your legs The Promised Neverland style tho and drag you home, best case scenario you learn to not run again, you heal and live happily ever after(kinda), worst case scenario though...he paralyzes you and takes you to Puppeteer for help turning you into a living doll, his now favorite doll.
Laughing Jack
Yandere level/intensity: 10/10
Love language: Violence, Physical touch, Giving/Receiving gifts, Nicknames
• You were his victim, of course, Jack ain't one of the crps like Jason or a proxy who could've met you on casual terms y'know-
• If you were unphased by the deaths of your friends then that probably would've made him intruiged with you, if you were hiding your fear though...that would've made him even more intruiged
• I do hope you are not an empath because this man LOVES to see you cry, one way or another, finds your angry tears the most beautiful though
• Can be very rough with his physical attention, I'm not sure if you cried if that would make the situation better or worse for yourself
• As much as he loves seeing you cry if it's not caused by him WHOOO BOY whoever caused it better start saying their prayers
• If Slender found out about you and ordered your death, again, I see this man CACKLING HYSTERICALLY at Slender and anyone else around, like they actually have a fucking chance-
• Likes bringing you around the other crps because he knows none of them are dumb enough(except Jeff or BEN) to touch HIS human, will definitely keep you at the mansion because I don't see him liking the victims at his carnival seeing his posessionhis weakness
• Loves bringing you around Jason and Candy just to flaunt you like a prized dog he also loves having someone around while he calls the two colorful men all sorts of snide gay comments
• His idea of gifts are either candy, toys or human/animal body parts so..it's like a game of russian roulette every time he gives you a "gift", he is also the type that if he doesn't like your gift he will tell you to your face but secretly keep it forever
• Probably has a nickname for you like "flea" or "maggot" that he'll call you when around people but he definitely loves calling you "sweetheart"
• Now if you tried to leave then all bets are off. Of course, all humans are the same after all! He would immediately kill you, he spared you when he should've killed you alongside your friends and still you do this to him!? He would never speak of you again and his hatred for humans might be even worse this time
Candy Pop
Yandere level/intensity 7/10
Love language: Quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation(giving), nicknames
• When he first saw you...nobody else did after that day- Absolutely is the impulsive Yandere who takes you immediately
• Absolutely a lovebomber but doesn't do it out of malice, honestly I don't think he knew he was yandere until you explained to him what that even was-
• A constant flow of emotional and physical attention attention from him, if you came from a very emotionally connected family then you immediately feel at home but if you had a more distant family who wasn't very loving then I wouldn't be surprised if early on you broke down in tears
• Probably the most loving yandere out of the three of them, will most probably accidentally give you stockholm and have you convinced it's a healthy relationship until you see Jeffrey walking by and get a MASSIVE reality check
• If Slender finds out about you and orders your death this man can and will drop every form of a life he has built with the crps and go off the grid with you, he is NOT taking any chances with your mortal life
• Will most definitely keep you in his dream dimension most of the time, if you want to go back to the human world he'll see if one of the boss's cabins are available
• He only brings you around Jason and Jack because he considers them his best "friends", if you felt uncomfortable around any one of themJack he would stop bringing you around them but if you took to one of them he would bring that one to you to hang out, so bring them to his dream dimension more
• Most favorite nicknames would probably be "sugar", "gumdrop", "honey bun" and "my love"
• This man does not trust ANYONE around you, somehow has more trust issues then Jason, though he'll allow people you trust around you
• Definitely the "pleaser" type of yandere, is never happy unless you are happy and will do anything to make you that way, even if it means making himself uncomfortable, anything for you
• Definitely has taken a kid or two as his newest "present" for you, will reluctantly return them if you ask him to, what can I say he loves playing house with you, gives him the closest feeling to what he thinks might be humanity
• This man has nightmares about loosing you and his dreams aren't much better as they're always filled with "What if's" about your relationship if he was human like you or you a monster like him
• If you tried to leave this could go one of two ways, he could finally snap and drag you back into his dream dimension, never letting you see the human world again and never letting you out of his sight, you don't have the right to do that anymore after breaking his trust, or he could let you go but believe me that till the day you die you'll never truly be alone again, he'll always be watching his love.
AHHH I LOVED THIS REQUEST! This was SO FUN to write and I hope y'all enjoy(and I hope this was sufficient enough to your request anon)! Sorry if any one of them is a little shorter than the others, I just wrote as much I could think of so I hope it's enough. Let me know if you want any more(or full fics, or a poly version of these headcanons) and remember requests are open just read the somewhat rules/introduction pinned on my page and maybe go read my list of characters and prompts if you don't have a very custom request. Tata for now my lovely little gremlins! -Creepz
Massive trigger/content warning for the Neil Gaiman article in Vulture.
How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades.
It's worse than any of us ever thought. And a good lesson to all of us about idolizing anyone. I know he was a Tumblr favorite for a long time. It's a hard read for those of us who really believed his public persona.
summary: you’ve been born into a rich controlling family, always having to stay on top and never cross the line. You tried to please your mother but never could be enough for your mother’s standards, your father was mostly at work and away at business trips so both of you hardly ever interacted with each other. That’s until you got into an argument about your new friend chris who was the polar opposite of you, what do you think will happen next?
warnings: ANGST, !parental abuse!, arguing (again ik), family issues, swearing, manipulation, controlling mother figure, !burning skin!, slight fighting, crying, !mentions of childhood trauma! And this contains sensitive topics for many (even me) so please I advice to read this with caution and knowingly what you’re consuming.
authors note: day 3 is behind us now, thank yall so much for all of the love on the past fics I seriously rlly appreciate it. Yall can drop some ideas for future days and fics outside of this in my inbox and I’ll be happy to write them, I don’t have my computer with me rn so I’ll make the gradient text when I’m at my computer again, hope y’all enjoy this one
no nut november | masterlist | guestlist
Escalated screams and yells fill the large space of the room, making my ears want to fall off as foul words continue to fall from my mother’s mouth. It’s not the first time my mother has yelled at me for the most stupidest bullshit ever known to mankind and this is one of them, somehow it never turned psychical between us which could be a shocker for some of the others considering how loud she is screaming and shouting that you would think she’d hit me by now or at least threaten to.
“You are bringing such shame to this family! It’s unacceptable!” She shouts, her face contoured with pure anger. I might as well see smoke coming out of her ears by now, rolling my eyes as I feel my own anger rise inside of me at how ridiculous she is being right now. “I bring shame? What about you sleeping around behind dad’s back, huh?” I argue back, not letting her bring me down and standing my ground. She gasps dramatically as if I insulted her whole bloodline, pressing her hand to her chest to make her seem more like a victim.
“Don’t you dare speak of that! This isn’t about my mistakes, it’s about yours!” She attempts to defend her name but fails miserably, thinking if she raises her voice higher than me she’ll have the high ground and take the upper hand in this argument. “You’re the one that’s hanging out with that street rat and even dare to invite him to this house!” My blood boils to high temperatures at her insult targeted towards Chris, well she isn’t very fond of him and his lifestyle or he of how she treats me from all of the stories I’ve previously told him.
Summarizing that thought, their hatred is mutual towards themselves. “Don’t bring him into this, he has nothing to do with this! It was one lower grade, mom!” I yell defensively, the level of my irritation rising with each second of just breathing in the tense air in the room. “That he caused by the influence he has on you! I just want the best for you, honey.” She tries to twist her tone into a softer one but I can feel the fakeness radiating off it the minute it comes past her lips, how pathetic.
“You aren’t convincing anyone with that fake tone, that’s for sure.” I state annoyingly as she attempts to move closer to me but when she sees me backing away she just gives up with trying to convince me into doing anything she wants with the same old method and decides on a newly invented one. “Fine, maybe I wont convince you at least but your father is pretty gullible and he’ll do anything I ask him to do. Even if i feed him a couple lies involving you and that little skank.”
I narrow my eyes at her, not believing her words at first until she shoots me a specific look which informs me she isn’t playing around, raising her eyebrow and slightly dipping her chin just always has her whole bitchy personality written all over her face in that moment. My face normally would drop in color but at this point I didn’t care, she brought Chris into this who has nothing to do with this and shouldn’t be assumed as the cause of my lower grade. It was one of the hardest exams this semester and even when I studied harder than ever and got the highest grade in my class, she still doesn’t appreciate my hard work.
My head decides its the perfect time to bring up the first time I got a lower grade, being only at the age as young as seven she was already pressuring me into being perfect and didn’t even allow me to have a normal childhood only filling me with more work and mental pressure I often was too tired to do anything the next morning after studying all night in hopes to attempt to please my mother but no matter what I did, she never fully appreciated it and always found something bad to point out.
Start of Flashback
I excitedly run into the living room with my test clutched in my head, my dress flowing in the slight breeze coming from the window. A proud smile spread on my face as I reach the living room where mommy resided in sitting on the couch, holding up my paper for her vision to see the teachers red mark saying ‘79/100’ in the corner of the paper. “Look mommy, my teacher said I got the highest grade in my class on the test!” I exclaim proudly, waiting for my applause but was met with silence. Tilting my head to the side to glance at my mommy confused on why she is quiet but she had only a disgusted and an unimpressed look shadowing her face.
She notices my confused expression and finally speaks, turning her head away from me and back at the tv “Honey, that’s not good enough for this family. Study harder next time.” She states without any sympathy in her voice as she goes back to her activity like nothing happened, my eyes slightly start to water. Why am I not good enough for mommy? Why isn’t mommy proud of me and saying nice words like my teacher was? My arms drop down to my sides with the paper still clutched in my small arms.
“What do you mean, mommy?” I ask curiously, my voice becoming slight wobbly as shaky breaths enter an exit past my lips. “My teacher said I did great and even gave me a lollipop!” I add, now my sadness being evident and that’s when mommy looked at me and sees me upset. “Oh baby, you know what I told you about eating too much sweets. And a 76 isn’t high enough for the reputation our family has.” She says in a reassuring voice, seeming as if she wanted the best for me and me being the gullible and innocent child, not realizing she’s manipulating me into doing whatever her heart desired and shaping me into a perfect little toy to play in her game.
“I just want the best for you honey and you know that, I would never do anything to hurt you, ever.” She calmly assured in a soft tone, she walks over to me and wipes my tear-stained cheek with her thumb and looks at me with fake sympathy mixed with fake remorse. “Now go to your room and study for the next test, mommy has to go attend to some things, okay?” I nod my head yes and ran off into my room, the paper flying out of my hand and landing in the floor. My body immediately jumping onto my bed and bury my face into the nearby pillow as I clutch my favorite stuffed animal to my chest…
End of Flashback
I remember crying the rest of the night and thought it was normal and everyone’s mother was pressuring them into being better than every other kid and always perfect to upkeep the family’s ‘perfect’ reputation. Now that I’ve grown up and caught onto my mother’s manipulative acts, letting me have the upper hand in some regards. “You’re pure goddamn evil, I can’t believe you’re trying to scare me with dad out of all people.” I huff, feeling my body become more tense by the second before adding. “Better than one of the guys you cheated on dad with.” After the words leave my mouth, she immediately darts towards me and gets impossibly closer to my face. Glaring at me as if she wanted to strangle the shit out of me.
“I said, don’t you dare bring that into this situation, young lady!” She warns, her voice completely shifting from fake sympathy to rage and evilness. One of her hands raises and she sticks out her finger, getting it in my face as if to try and scare me further but I only laugh in her face. “One more word out of your mouth and I make one call to your father, singing like a bird to him about all of the things you’ve said to your own mother.” She wipes imaginary tears off from under her eyes, pretending to be upset and hurt as if she’s the victim here. “You’re such an ungrateful brat, I’m surprised we haven’t kicked you out the house yet. You always disappoint us and bring total shame to the family.”
An evil laugh rumbles in her throat, I don’t see her as a loving mother I thought I had. No, I see her as the worst and most controlling mother ever known to mankind and I feel ashamed being in the proximity of her and letting her walk all over me like a doormat. She takes a few steps back and finally puts some distance between our bodies, I sharply inhale the tense air surrounding us as the following words fall from her mouth that I was just waiting for her to speak.
“I regret you were even born, more with every passing minute. Me and your father never wanted a girl, but a boy and at one point were debating to put you in an orphanage or give you away, another decision I regret making.”
Before my mother could say another word, I deliver a slap across her face and throw the words out of her mouth. She looks up at me, completely livid and fet up with this little cat fight between us. “That’s it, you’re getting punished hardly this time.” She angrily exclaims and roughly grasps my arm, dragging me into the kitchen by pure mad force. I try to escape her vice grip but it only makes it tighter, the feeling of pain and a bruise coming in spreads across my whole body as I see her walking towards the stove.
I start to get more desperate to escape, almost beginning to scream for her to stop and don’t do what I know she’s about to do. She did it before when I talked back to her ever and looks like today her strings popped too much, we get to the stove and she ticks it on, the flame blooming to life as she forces my arm above it. “Please, mom dont do this…” I weakly plead as the burning sensation starts to hit my skin, spreading across my whole arm. I cry out in pain and pleads for her to stop, quiet curses falling from my lips as she only glances at me sternly. Tears prick my eyes and burn down my cheeks, she continues to hold my arm over the flames and brings it closer.
My body starts squiring around, my pleads getting more and more desperate as more tears fall from my eyes. “Stop! Please, mom I’m begging you stop!” Shaky breaths fill the air and accompany the growing cries and pleads to my mother. “Stop moving around, you brat! Are you going to still be disobedient towards me now?” She asks mockingly as I think she’s going to burn my skin off, someone pushes her off me and I immediately fall to the ground in pure agony. The uncontrollable cries continuing to fall from my mouth, my eyes landing on the severe burn mark left behind on my arm, my eyes start to burn themselves from the amount of tears filling them at once
“What in the actual fuck is happening here?” I hear a familiar voice yell out as I don’t think about who it could be until they kneel down next to me and I realize it’s Chris, I forgot I invited him over today. I can’t believe he’s seeing me in this state right now, he glances at my arm and immediately grasps it gently into his hands. “Jesus Christ, we need to get you some serious help, cmon we gotta go to the hospital.” He calls out and helps me get up and stand on my feet, rushing me out of the house and looking around for something to quickly get me where I severely need to be right now. “You got a private driver here somewhere?” He questions and I nod negatively, there aren’t any available unless you ask for one beforehand.
‘Fuck, umm- okay then let’s just take.. your car!” He exclaims nervously, pointing towards one of the cars in the driveway. Quickly running over to it and rushing me inside of it, getting into the drivers seat and trying to start the car. When he finally gets a hang of the functioning of the car he quickly presses down on the gas and speeds out of the driveway and towards the hospital…
Summary: You get turned by Maria a short time after Jasper. Life in the coven is not what you expect though, as Maria quickly realizes you have a useful ability and you end up outliving the other newborns. At least you have Jasper, though. Until you don't.
Word Count: 3361
Warning: Depression, a short bit of suicidal thoughts, canonical violence. It gets rough in the middle y'all.
Lots of hurt but it has a happy ending, I promise.
---
You and Jasper were close to fast friends when you were forced to join Maria’s army. At first, you were terrified of the blond and his scar-ridden skin. Word reached you quickly of all he’d done, the countless lives he’d taken. How could you not be scared?
But then one night you found him on his own, standing outside the abandoned barn you called home, looking up at the stars with such a broken expression. That night, something drew you to his side. The urge to comfort, the need to ease his pain, was the first feeling to overcome the overwhelming sense of bloodlust constantly burning in your throat.
Not a single word was spoken that night. You didn’t know what to say, not to this man who had lived through so much more than you, and he didn’t offer anything in return. You both just stood there, still as statues, looking up at the stars.
That night you learned that Jasper Whitlock is not all that he appears to be.
It’s also the night Maria learned of your ability, and decided you might be of more value than she originally thought. You hadn’t even realized you were doing anything. In that moment, all you wanted was to keep him safe, hide him for just a little bit so he could breathe. And apparently you had done just that. You both disappeared, from everyone’s perception at least.
And so you lived. Outlived.
Your new reality was much crueler than you thought it could be. You realized that when your friend, a young girl changed the day after you, was deemed no longer useful.
That night, Jasper was the one who came to you.
“(Y/n).”
You don’t look away from the sky, the bleeding colors of the sunset dull in comparison to the flashing colors of fire behind your eyes. You can smell the smoke clinging to his clothes as he gets closer. It burns your nose, makes your chest ache as a fresh wave of pain sweeps through you.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” You ask quietly, voice like a broken set of bells.
Jasper sets his jaw, looking down at his hands. He nods slowly, an unfamiliar lump forming in his throat. He’s never felt guilty for following orders, he always thought it was for the best, that Maria knew better than the rest of them.
But then you look at him, your eyes swimming with tragedy, and it makes something inside of him ache. There’s no anger, no hatred, like he expected, just an ocean of grief.
It clogs your throat, burns behind your eyes, leaves you shaking. You rest on the edge of tears, suffocating in that horrible, sinking feeling, but always unable to cry. And you hate it. You hate it. You hate it. It’s like walking a tightrope, always off balance, yet never falling.
But you shatter when a hand rests gently on your shoulder.
A dry, ugly sob breaks past your lips as you turn into Jasper’s body. He curls his arms around you wordlessly, wishing he could hold all your pieces together. And even though his hands are the ones that did it, even though you know he’ll have to do it again and again and again, you can’t help but soak up every ounce of comfort from his rare embrace.
Slowly the sadness lifts, until it's bearable, not crushing you but not completely gone. His ability. Usually you’d scold him, tell him your emotions are yours for a reason, but right now all you can do is hold onto him tighter.
He’s all you have left, now.
Something changed after that night. You and Jasper got even closer. He protected you and was your rock when Maria turned your ability into a weapon. And on nights when she would go hunting alone, the two of you would perch on the roof of the barn and just look at the stars, talking about anything and everything.
You loved hearing stories of his human life. He would tell you about his time in the army, about the pressure he faced to join when he got old enough. His family didn’t have much, especially after the war started. You could tell he loved them, just by the soft smile he would get any time he talked about them.
You would take turns sharing stories. You told him about your siblings and their mischievous games. You were the oldest, so it often rested on you to watch over them, which usually ended with you covering up their shenanigans. You loved it though, taking care of them, teaching them.
That urge was still somewhere deep inside you, a motherly instinct you can’t quite shake. It made it all the more difficult to distance yourself from the fresh newborns in the coven. Before, you would take them in, calm them down, make sure they had something to drink to ease the pain of their thirst.
You couldn’t experience that again, though. That loss. So you kept your distance, spending most of your time with Jasper anyways. The man’s threatening aura kept most of them away.
Except one.
A newborn, a little too confident, a little too high on his new strength, decided he just couldn’t leave you alone. For the most part, you ignored him. In your human life, you dealt with more than enough unwanted attention, so you thought you were used to it. He was as stubborn as he was arrogant though.
Until Jasper nearly killed him for making a move on you (a little too aggressively).
Luckily Maria wasn’t there for that.
“Are you alright?” Jasper ushers you outside, red eyes frantically scanning over you, as if you could be battered and bruised.
“I’m fine, Jas,” you breathe, brushing the dust from your pants, “I’m more worried about that guy you just ripped the arm off of.”
“I should’ve killed him for touchin’ you.”
You glance at him, amusement quickly replacing the mild panic that filled you the moment that man laid his hands on you, “You know you wouldn’t. Maria would get angry if you did that.”
Jasper’s lips draw into a thin line. It shouldn’t matter. You’re the only one who treats him like he’s still human, his only friend. He wants to say that he will always protect you, even if he has to fight Maria herself. But the words don’t come. Deep down, a part of him knows they aren’t true, and that leaves behind a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Don’t look like that.” He blinks when you touch his cheek, your fingers soft and light, unlike Maria’s. You smile at him, just as gently, voice resigned, “I know how you think, Jasper Hale. You’re a loyal man, and that’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
As you say it, a sadness wraps around you, one that Jasper doesn’t understand. It doesn’t match your smile, or the soft creasing of your eyes as you look up at him. Why does it make you so sad?
You don’t let the feeling linger though, reigning it in the moment you notice the slight furrow of his brow he sometimes gets when he is trying to focus on your emotions. You don’t need him figuring out why. Why his loyalty to Maria makes your chest ache so painfully.
Falling in love with Jasper Hale was as easy as breathing, which says something considering you don’t even need to. Behind the tough, military face of his, was a man who was charismatic and gentle, who liked to laugh and remembered the name of every horse he’d ever ridden.
He was loyal to a fault.
That’s why he could not see Maria’s true nature for the longest time. It became clear to you rather quickly once you got closer with Jasper. Close enough that she took notice. Close enough that she decided to do something about it.
It started with small things.
Whenever you would go to talk to Jasper, she would call him over for something unimportant.
She started sending you on little tasks, just to keep you out of the barn.
Even on the days she would go hunting, the days you looked forward to most because you and Jasper could be completely alone, she started taking Jasper with her.
And each time, she would give you one of those vicious smiles. Like she won. It did not take long to realize it was all on purpose. In her own way, she was telling you loud and clear that she wanted you nowhere near Jasper and anytime you tried, she’d be there to show you just how little you mattered.
What hurt most, though, was how Jasper always listened to her. Every time, he would follow after her like a good soldier, casting you a guilty look over his shoulder. You didn’t blame him though. You couldn’t. Not when you knew the alternative.
So you got used to being alone for the first time in your life. The sadness, the one that Jasper kept at bay all that time, slowly crept back in, filling every nook and cranny of your being. Day after day, it got harder to stay, to listen to Maria’s direction. Even when you did listen, she treated you like a pest, contempt burning in her eyes.
You couldn’t bring yourself to leave though. The thought alone made your heart ache, because that would mean leaving Jasper. No amount of distance could dampen those feelings that came so quickly. They were branded in your heart, a part of you now and probably forever. A simple look from him and you would resign yourself all over again to stay.
Even if it got you killed.
Some days were too hard though, watching him follow on Maria’s heel, doing all she asked. It had been months since you talked, actually talked. Months since you heard him laugh or felt the comfort of his touch, no matter how small it was. And it hurt.
The pain made it hard to drink. You’d go weeks without blood, finding the burn of the hunger was better than the empty feeling in your chest. It made you weak, your skin turning almost translucent, the circles under your eyes growing darker and darker.
Jasper hated it. He had to watch as you fell into depression, your emotions like a dark cloud around you, so strong even the newborns walked on eggshells around you. He hated it, yet he could never do anything about it.
He wasn’t as oblivious as you thought him to be. He was aware of Maria’s resentment towards you. Jasper knew that if he showed his concern, even an inkling of it, she would lash out at you. At least by her side, he could temper her emotions and protect you.
His efforts could only go so far, though.
As you grew weaker, your ability weakened as well. And Maria noticed.
You wanted her to notice.
Leaving wasn’t an option, but the pain of staying was becoming too much for you to bear. Death seemed like the only way out of this eternally lonely existence. You just hoped Jasper wouldn’t have to be the one to do it.
Maria never liked the easy way, though. Loyalty must be proven.
You felt it as soon as you stepped foot outside the barn one night. The air was warm and dark clouds covered the sky, blocking out any light. Something sank in your gut and you just knew.
If you were going to die, you were at least going to die somewhere you could be surrounded by good memories. So you trekked to the hill where you first stood with Jasper, the one where you spent many nights watching the stars, and that’s exactly where he found you.
You perch yourself on a rock, watching as lightning flashes in the clouds. The air is heavy with static, but not a single drop of rain falls. It’s like the world can’t decide how it feels, a mess of storms not ready to break, but needing to, the tension rising and rising. Until something gives.
You hear Jasper before you see him. His steps are uncharacteristically heavy, the brush whispering as he walks through it. The air grows impossibly heavier when he comes to an abrupt stop just feet away from you.
It’ll be quick, you think. You hardly have the strength to keep yourself upright, the burning in your throat like hot coals. With what energy you have left, you keep your chin up and slowly turn your gaze away from the clouds to the man behind you.
And you smile. Because it’s Jasper. Your Jasper. Looking just as broken as the first night you stood by him.
Jasper’s knees practically buckle when you look at him, a wave of fondness warming the air around you. How can you still feel such a thing for him? After all he has done. You must know why he’s here. He doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t deserve the trust in your eyes.
“Don’t look like that,” you murmur, smile going sad. You can’t stand the guilt twisting those features you love so much.
Jasper shakes his head, teeth gritting together so hard, his jaw creaks. He doesn’t want this. He can’t. Not with you looking at him like he’s hung the moon. No fear, no hatred. You should despise him.
“It’s not your fault,” you whisper, as if hearing his thoughts.
“Darlin’-”
He chokes on all the words he wants to say, everything he’s been waiting to say. How he wishes you could see the ocean, like you’ve always wanted. How he wants to be right there with you, just to see the way your eyes light up. How his eternal life finally seemed to have meaning when he met you.
“It’s okay, Jasper. I’m okay.” You reach for him, wanting nothing more than to just take his distress away. That’s all you’ve ever wanted. He gives in, allows you to take his hand, pull him closer. For you, he convinces himself, despite the selfish comfort he finds in your touch. “I know it’s not your decision. This has nothing to do with you,” you hesitate, squeezing his hands softly with a sad smile, “but I’m glad I got to talk to you one last time, at least. It’s not so scary if it’s you.”
“Stop.” His voice cracks like thunder, desperation bleeding into his eyes.
But there’s one last thing you need to say.
“I love you.”
Your eyes drift shut and you tilt your face back to the sky.
A drop of rain traces down your cheek.
Now you’re ready.
“I can’t.”
What?
You peek your eyes open, looking on in shock as Jasper kneels in front of you, face set in the most determined look you’ve ever seen. What’s happening?
“I can’t hurt you. I won’t,” he declares, red eyes set on you without a hint of hesitation.
You gape at him, head suddenly spinning, “But Maria-”
“I won’t let her hurt you either.”
“But Jasper- How- What-”
“Run away with me.”
You blink. And blink. And blink. If you had a working heart, it would be beating out of your chest at this point. Has he lost his mind?
“We’ll go to the States, to the ocean just like you want, leave all this behind.” The words spill out of him, the dam finally broken. Each word makes your eyes go wider, the sadness receding as hope sparks in your chest. “Please, darlin’. Give me a chance to make you happy.”
“Oh, Jasper.” You touch his face, drawing him just close enough to press a kiss to his forehead. Jasper’s eyes flicker shut, your love washing over him like the rain. Your next words seal the rest of your eternity, “You’ve always made me happy. We can go anywhere. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be the happiest woman in the world.”
And for the first time in forever, that smile slants over his lips, bright and warm and gorgeous.
You missed that smile so much.
That night, the two of you disappeared into the storm. You don’t know if Maria ever searched for you. If she did, she never found you.
Jasper kept his word. As soon as you crossed the border, you traveled to the west coast. You saw the ocean, which was more than you ever expected it to be, and that’s where you stayed for a while. Until you met the Cullens, at least.
You were nervous at first. Large covens were rare outside of the armies, so you didn’t trust them at first. There was no way you’d do that ever again. But you missed having a family, and looking at them, you couldn’t help but want for what they seemed to have.
“What do you think, Jas?” You ask your mate as you curl into his side.
He wraps an arm around you, lips pressing against your forehead softly, “Whatever you want, darlin’. They’re intentions seem honorable.”
“Would you be okay going vegetarian, though?” You love the idea. It’s always bothered you, having to kill innocent humans. Even feeding from the bad ones leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
“I’ll manage,” Jasper chuckles, eyes creasing.
“And the moving around?”
“We already do that, sugar.”
“Oh yah.” The Cullens move around far less than you, actually. You can’t believe they can stay in the same place for months, years even. The thought fills you with anticipation. Maybe you could finally settle down and have a normal life with Jasper.
“Maybe we could get a dog,” you hum, a slow smile spreading across your lips.
Jasper snorts, drawing you closer to press a kiss to your temple. You glance up at him, eyes bright with unrestrained excitement. And just like that, it’s decided.
“Let’s join them.”
“Alright! Oh! We could call him Cowboy! Can you imagine it? Cowboy the dog. It’d be perfect.”
“Anythin’ you want, darlin’.”
And that’s how you ended up with the Cullens.
---
“...wow.”
You grin at Bella, “I know, it’s a lot. But it all worked out for the best! I can’t imagine my life any different.”
“And I can’t imagine my life without you.” Your smile goes even wider when a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind.
You look over your shoulder at your mate, eyes practically lighting up with affection, “Good, cause you’d be hard pressed to get rid of me at this point.”
Bella watches the small interaction, surprised to see the blond vampire without his usual stoic facade. He’s like a completely different person, practically melting into your touch, and smiling. Actually smiling. And you look just as lovestruck.
“You guys make a cute couple,” she says, feeling a bit awkward when you turn your gaze back to her.
“Thanks Bells. You and Eddie make just as cute of one. I can’t wait to go to your wedding.”
The brunette flushes what must be the darkest shade of red possible, successfully mimicking a cherry. She shuffles away with some muttered excuse, and you can’t hold back a giggle.
“You’re evil, darlin’,” Jasper murmurs, shaking his head.
You flip around in his hold, arms wrapping around his neck, “What! You know it’s going to happen. Edward’s completely smitten with that girl.”
“Still doesn’t mean you have to torture the poor thing,” he chastises, though he can’t hide the mirth in his tone.
“Fine. I guess I can take it easy on her,” you sigh dramatically, earning another chuckle from your mate.
“That’s my girl.”
You tuck yourself into his chest, hiding a truly ecstatic smile in his jacket. To this day, you still can’t believe that this is your life.
You really wouldn’t change anything about it. Not the bad things, not the start, none of it. You like to think your love is stronger because of it. And it will only continue to grow stronger every day for the rest of your eternity together.
You can’t wait to see where the two of you go.
---
This was not meant to get so edgy, but here we are. I never really know what I'm writing until it's finished.
Anyways! I hope you guys enjoyed the angst, hurt and comfort! A really fluffy fic will be coming next, and I am SO excited about it.
