Things Said By Cars Characters In The Form Of Brain Rot
~~~
Lightning McQueen : How the hell you spell 'georguous'?
Doc Hudson : Not like that.
Lightning McQueen : Well spell it for me then!
Doc Hudson : 'Gorgeous'.
Lightning McQueen : I was close enough!
Doc Hudson : You fuckin' spelled 'George-Us', kid. How was that close?
~
Cal Weathers : I'm sorry Roger. I'm givin' you a real hard time right now.
Roger Wheeler : It's all part of the learnin' process, son. You're still young and you've got plenty of time to keep on experiencin' new things.
Cal Weathers : Was Uncle Strip easy to teach?
Roger Wheeler : Your uncle Strip? Boy, that man was at least ten times harder to teach than you.
Cal Weathers : I'mSorryWhat-
Roger Wheeler : Yeah. He was a pain in the ass. Stubborn as a mule he was and he always had those kinds of anger problems that never really disappeared.
Cal Weathers : H u h?!
~
Bobby Swift : Dude. Do you think aliens exist?
Francesco Bernoulli : Why do you ask Francesco this question?
Bobby Swift : Jusy humor me. Do you think aliens think about us if they did exist?
Francesco Bernoulli : *Sigh* Yes, if aliens existed I think they would think about us.
Bobby Swift : Thank you.
Francesco Bernoulli : Maybe they would not think about you specifically, but they would think about us.
Bobby Swift : Hey! >:O
~
Doc Hudson : Why is it- whenever something goes wrong, you four are always in the middle of all the commotion?
Cal Weathers : I've been trying to figure that one out for about ten years now, Doctor Hudson.
Lightning McQueen : Cal, let me do the talking! Just give me five minutes to make up an excuse-
Bobby Swift : It was Brick's fault!
Brick Yardley : How was I supposed to know that underwater matches work the same as regular matches? They specified 'underwater'!
~
Kori Turbowitz : Mister The King, since your competitors have given each other nicknames now, what are your thoughts on facing the Thunder and Lightning duo alone?
Strip Weathers : I ain't too worried about them, Kori.
Kori Turbowitz : Oh? And why is that?
Strip Weathers : Because they're just one storm of the same variety I've faced my whole life. I, on the other hand, am the whole spectrum of natural disasters.
Kori Turbowitz : Was that a call back to your last name or personality?
Strip Weathers : Yes ma'am. :)
~
Darrell Cartrip : So, I've been thinkin'...
Bob Cutlass : The good thinking or the bad thinking?
Darrell Cartrip : You know how we adopted that Natalie girl?
Bob Cutlass : Yes..? I mean, we didn't technically adopt her since she's a grown woman but-
Darrell Cartrip : We have a son now.
Bob Cutlass : Excuse me?
Darrell Cartrip : Bob, this is Boost.
Boost : Hi Mister Cutlass.
Bob Cutlass : Uh- h-hi-
Darrell Cartrip : Oh, did I say 'son'? I meant 'sons'. Wingo, DJ, Snotrod! Come here!
Wingo : Hello sir.
DJ : Hi.
Snotrod : Hello.
Bob Cutlass : H-Hi there.
Darrell Cartrip : What do you think?
Bob Cutlass : I think, Darrell, that we talked about this already-
Darrell Cartrip : They need a home Bob!
Bob Cutlass : They're adults!
Darrell Cartrip : They need adultier adults!
~
Chick Hicks : Here me out! I'm not crazy! All my life I've gone up against people with some sort of elemental name! Strip Weathers, Lightning McQueen- now Jackson Storm is here? I mean come on! The racing circuit isn't filled with people who've got some sort of weather name, but when one does show up they're insanely good!
Chick Hicks : I mean, I exist obviously, as Chick 'Thunder' Hicks! But that's besides the point! I swear, there's some sort of superpower with having your name be some sort of natural element.
Chick Hicks : Which makes me wonder, if someone were to come in with the name 'Ember Rose' or 'Ezra Frost' would they be as superior as people with sky elements? Like Lightning' or 'Storm'? Or would they be their own separate category? What about earth or fire? Water? Ice? What does it all mean?
Bruiser Bukowski : What it all means is that you've had enough to drink for one night. I'm telling the bartender to cut you off.
Chick Hicks : No wait hold on I have more theories!
~
