And The World Said “I Love You”(I Need You)
(Yes I did write for my 2003 Donnie idea)
Exhaustion weighed in his bones from the moment he woke up to the second his head hit the alien feeling pillow. It was a deep lilac color, something that might have brought him comfort; now resting on foreign fabric wearing his favorite color felt like betrayal.
For the past few weeks his world has shrunk down a gilded cage.
Donnie had mapped the castle’s grand expanse the first week of discovering its entrance buried in shrubbery. All the winding halls and vast rooms were carefully detailed in some kind of holographic ipad he had found exploring the palace; although Donnie never had to fear getting lost. That night he had taken shelter in an old bedroom- but the urge to explore had taken over him and he had gotten lost in the never-ending hallways. Then, just as he was about to accept his fate there was a bright green and pulsing light at the end of the hall. It led him all the way back to his room and vanished as quickly as it came.
Although, now that he was trapped in his prison where he was monitored 24/7- the only places he ever felt like visiting were his half finished portal, now locked up inside one of the rooms…and the garden. Donnie felt like there was a grander name for the massive sprawling expanse of green carpeted floor: the strange glasslike trees branching towards the sky, the blooming flowers that mimicked sounds, and the manmade lake dotted right in the middle. He had tested the flowers grown inside the palace to their wild counterparts back before and discovered them to have diverged into two different species. The ones outside being quieter and more selective in their mimicry and the ones grown inside mimicked everything around them. Now all the experiments he wanted to do had to be checked and vetted as safe for him to carry out and brought by clean white wires to his room. All he could ever have on this planet could be brought to him and all he needed to do was whisper his request into the air. The void remained, eating him from the inside out the longer he spent in this place of manufactured peace.
He curled up on his side in his nest of blankets and pillows and watched the window. Two twin suns slowly begin to rise above the horizon and paint the sky in brilliant reds, oranges, and blues that layered over the lifeless greys of his room. One of the suns was a bright white and rather small; the other dull red and massive. It filled him with a subdued sense of existential dread knowing that the star was near the end of its lifespan. It would take millions more years for this star to actually die, but just looking at it filled him with a familiar twinge of fear. It reminded him of the first time he discovered the sun would explode one day, far, far into the future, but little Donnie had been distraught. Of course his logic won over his irrational fear of the sun exploding but he remembered it being his first taste of real existential dread. Although a new part of him, one forged from containment and faux affection, kind of wished it would happen sooner than later.
He had kept up his training as much as he was allowed, but some days all he could bring himself to do was lay in bed and stew in his bitterness. Donnie would take advantage of his keeper’s misplaced adoration and make near impossible demands while it waited on him hand and foot like some spoiled thing. He was disgusted with himself for indulging in its ; for trying to get some semblance of control through its incessant pampering when he knew it would have checked on him anyway. It would have spoken with feather soft words and checked him over with cold metal arms. It would have curled its wires around him and offered him more strange foods it knew from the memory fragments of its victims. It would carry Donnie for the rest of his life for as little as a warm hand intertwined with its gears. It would tear apart the ecosystem that had painstakingly taken over its barren self if he asked.
He was too aware of its presence all around the castle; watching and cataloging him in some faux version of adoration. Donnie knew it could see him right now, and the way he could hear its walls creak like lungs taking in air only amplified that fact. It fulfilled his desperate plea for food during his first day on this strange planet with root vegetables laid at his feet. It answered his call for information with books from generations past. It returned his quiet whisper for connection with its own. He had even named it after that first thing that green blinking light reminded him of.
“Gatz!” Donnie proclaimed as he cradled the blinking green light in his hand. It was a small palm sized sphere that hung from a descending wire. Its surface was smooth and polished to a shine. The castle’s innards groaned and a soft hiss of tension released between two gears accompanied a robotic voice that echoed throughout the structure.
“Gatz?” The living machine questioned as Donnie twirled its wires between his fingers. He grinned at the feeling of them wrapping around his hand and intertwining with his fingers in some semblance of contact. “Yes, Gatz. It's the name of a man who bought a house just across the bay of someone he cared for deeply. His lover’s property had this blinking green light that acted as a beacon for his hopes.” Donnie explained. Although he did want to go on about how Gastby’s love for Daisy wasn’t actually love but a longing to be a part of the world she was born into- he didn’t want to sour the meaning for his friend. He wanted Gatz to feel good about his name, about the green light that comforted Donnie with its guiding luster; that reminded him he wasn’t alone anymore.
“I like it. Thank you, Donnie.” He swore Gatz’s automated voice softened at his same, wrapping around each letter like warm smoke. But that was impossible, as much as he liked Gatz, his AI wasn’t designed to be emotional or build relationships with others. He just had to remember that himself.
He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.
How much longer he could pretend that this was ok.
Donnie watched as his bedroom door slowly began to creak open. It let in blinding white light into the room and that washed out the reds, blues, and oranges into nothing but half faded impressions on a grey background. The sunrise had already begun to fade with the day, but it could have let those colors linger for a little longer.
He closed his eyes, and pretended it was Mikey cautiously telling him breakfast was ready as not to upset a coffee deprived Donnie, that Leo had managed to break the toaster again and Raph threatening to eat his portion of breakfast; that Splinter had decided to postpone training today in favor of giving his sons a day off to themselves. He pretended he was in his rarely used bed with his half deflated pillow under his head. That the familiar smell of motor oil, metal, and pizza was wrapped around him like a second blanket. He pretended that April was somewhere above ground with Casey being all lovey dovey and getting them some groceries. He imagined his enemies gearing up for the next big battle- because anything was better than the hell he was trapped in.
However, as metal limbs pressed against his forehead and cradled his cheek in some clumsy attempt at human affection, more than just the illusion broke in that moment.
“Donnie.” Its voice was a mesh of thousands: different pitches, languages, ages all stitched together into an overlapping mess of sound. He could hear both the blabbing of an infant, the croak of an elder, and the vocal breaks of an adolescent all forced together in an approximation of warmth. It made his stomach roll like a riptide as he thought about how it stole those voices.
“I have prepared breakfast.” It tugged his hand. “Will you eat with me?”
Donnie pried himself from the sheets, and let himself be led forward like a doll grabbed by the strings.
Did he ever have a choice?
It loved him more than any old caretaker that used to tend to its inner workings, it admired him more than its creators; Gatz loved him more than anyone it had ever met before.
It had been a long time since Gatz had met any life of higher intelligence, even if the species on itself was rising to dominance; they were far from being on the same level as those before them. Then from a glowing ring of a color it had never seen before (it would later learn it was called purple) emerged a stranger. With skin as green as the crystalline leaves covering its surface, and a shell as hard as some of the armored creatures that hid below its surface.
The first few hours were spent watching this peculiar creature scavenge for food he could eat to fill an empty stomach. Gatz felt pity for it as hunger made the armored thing’s stomach rumble. So when he fell into a light slumber Gatz pushed roots up from its surface and laid them by the creature's three-toed feet. It learned the person’s language through his ramblings and little pep talks, then shared some knowledge of its own through books left in its old library. Then in the middle of the night while he wandered the sanctuary of its walls, he had gotten lost. Gatz took the risk of revealing itself to him; it swore to itself it would never forget how his eyes grew alight with wonder and awe. Then again when it let felt gentle hands repair its inner working. Then again at the excitement Donnie displayed when it responded to his intellectual dialogue.
Every moment was cataloged and saved in its records, from the way his tongue stuck out during repairs to the way he laid in the garden section for hours on end. Melancholy and happiness and sadness and fear all noted and added to its wealth of information, something just for Gatz to keep. Although nothing could compare to having Donnie in its walls, walking its surface and tinkering with its mechanics.
This was love. And it refused to let go.
Gatz’s halls groaned in protest to its wires now once more moving after laying prone for the past few decades. After Donnatello was "rescued" by his brothers and the portal destroyed, Gatz had lost all wants, all desires and all will to keep existing. If Donnatello wasn’t beside it then it may as well cease to exist. So, it shut itself down into a temporary sleep. Only to be disturbed if anything were to enter its walls once more. It paid no mind to the early civilization laying their foundations upon itself unless there was a voice expressing awe at seeing the beginning of it. It had no care for species diverging and expanding and ending when there was no fascinated chatter to theorize. Only the various shades of purple it had mutated on the flowers that expanded across its surface held a special place in its servers. Although nothing could ever quite match the same shade of purple Donnatello wore.
“Oh! Leo owes me so much money!” An excited voice rang through the air, and it could feel something foreign scan its walls. “I was right! Alternate dimensions are real- and I am the first turtle to ever set foot in one!” There was an excited squeal as the pitter-patter of feet rushed down the halls.
Gatz opened its feed to see what had intruded on its deep slumber. Unless the local inhabitants broke into its databases and learned English from its library of videos featuring Donnatello, then Gatz highly doubted that this person originated here.
Gatz felt its inner working freeze in place, each grinding gear, each pulse of energy all held still as its lenses landed upon a dark green turtle with a purple mask.
This one was younger than Donatello had been, slimmer too, with their mask covering the top half of their face rather than just being a strip of cloth. They had the same three fingered hands and toes but a more angular beak. Geometric patterns decorated their body and gleamed purple under Gatz's green lights. Then there was the tech wrapped around their body. A protective covering for their shell looked advanced, the kind of thing Donatello would have loved.
“Oh dad is going to be so proud of me!”
A small, planed sized ball of green descends from the ceiling as the lights running though its walls dim. Its child slows in its rapid hand flapping to look up, and up, and up until their gaze lands on it.
From the depths of it, something powers up, and smiles.
