Let’s Discuss: Self Comparison
I wanted to write a post on this topic because with social media having a tremendous presence in our lives it has become easy to continuously compare one’s self to others. I’ve compared myself to other social media influencers in the study community (especially on Instagram), as well as my friends while at school and I believe it to be an unproductive waste of time... Please consider reading this blog post if you have experienced something similar!
I compared myself and was compared to other children by adults since kindergarten. It was even more dominant in elementary and middle school because I attended an arts high school; therefore, our teachers constantly compared us to students who were doing the best in their classes. This was detrimental to all of us because we could be praised one day and scorned for making a mistake the next. Bad days were not allowed.
During my undergraduate years, I couldn’t shake this bad habit. I felt like other students were my competition and I had to do better. I would often compare my grades to my friends because I thought that they were doing “better than me”. I felt bad that they were receiving straight A’s or were always getting a higher grade than me on a test... It took me a couple of years to learn that grades are an extrinsic motivator and that I shouldn’t compare my performance with my friends.
During one of my psychology courses, we discussed the social comparison theory. The theory states that we determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others we perceive as somehow faring better or worse. It can be good if we compare ourselves to others as a way of fostering self-improvement, motivation and a have a positive image of the self. However, because we’re constantly evaluating ourselves and others, these evaluations can also promote judgmental, biased, competitive or superior attitudes. According to THIS article, some research has shown that people who often compare themselves to others report negative feelings of deep dissatisfaction, envy, guilt and remorse. By comparing yourself with others you can ruin your self-esteem, THIS article discusses it in more detail.
I had to learn to stop comparing my progress with my friends and motivate myself to work smarter so that I could finally have a place on the dean’s list. I would set specific goals for each semester that I would like to achieve. I also experimented with different studying techniques, etc. and started blogging about my academic experience, which helped me focus on myself and my personal progress... It worked! I received straight A’s my senior year of undergrad and ended up on the dean’s list, twice! You can read more about it HERE.
However, this is not the only thing I ended up achieving in undergrad! I also studied abroad, volunteered during orientation weeks and taught a freshman seminar course, as well as interned at the office for international education, completed a practicum at a hospital and volunteered at a psychology lab! My academic achievements were complimented not only by improved grades but also by fulfilling extracurricular activities!
I don’t know if this post was motivating or thought provoking but I hope that by sharing about this I can reach people who have gone through similar experiences! The important take away message of this post is this: don’t set yourself up for failure by comparing yourself to others!
If you would like to read more from me, click HERE to see other blog posts! You can also follow my studygram HERE for some inspiration!
