#soberingup

[eric-sadahire]

Imagine being drunk as a vegan

You gotta come home and munch on some celery sticks

[jemo630]

Some sustenance to absorb the debauchery. #nightout #soberingup #latenighteats #latenightfood #yummyinmytummy #yummy #yum #windingdown #aroundtown #outandabout #chicago #nightlife #nightsout (at Burrito House-Lincoln) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWh4auQAxqz/?utm_medium=tumblr

[addictivediary-blog]

Reality check...

Hey guys...I’m not even sure anybody will read this but it’s therapeutic for me to write it anyway so...

Today I brought to the forefront of my thoughts something that I lied about even to my psychotherapist. Why? because it’s fucking hard to bear and to admit it to myself in the first place.

So my version of the story says that I’ve been a junkie for about 12 years, but that, within those 12 years, my first 5 years in NY I was clean, just one relapse.

Now that’s not true. The first 5 months I was in NY I was clean. Then my boyfriend at the time came from Italy to kinda chase me over there. It took him a few days to bring heroin straight back into my life, like he fucking came for that...motherfucker.... Anyhow before the summer he goes back to Italy and leaves me there with the monkey and a couple of dealers’ numbers. For another year I used. Right before my MA graduation both my dealers disappeared. I had to write my thesis dopesick and I almost didn’t make it... but I did! I graduated and got clean. It was fucking hell but i’m grateful for that. After that I was clean for about six months. Then the guy whom I eventually married and currently share my life with, got some oxys because of a kidney stone. From there it went slowly but about 2 years down the road we were hooked on oxys. The rest is history.... What’s really hard to swallow is that in the end, in the past 12 years, I’ve been clean not more than 2 years total. That, even if I somehow didn’t allow my life to fall apart, I made very bad choices, I missed career opportunities, I made tons of bad decisions and a lot of all this because I was high. And when you’re high you think you’re thinking straight but you’re not. In reality you become a one-track minded motherfucker who sees things only under one perspective, incapable of empathy and who thinks the world is against them while instead they are fucking everything up and they keep on getting high not to think about it.  I seriously told myself that I had it together and under control, that I was able to live and work and work out and have a social life while being an addict! Looking back...I really did fuck up a lot of things. Especially work wise, I could have been somewhere else if I didn’t postpone dealing with my blocks and insecurities when I was still in my twenties..

So today I’m finally dealing with this shit. With this burden. Because I can’t change the past so the only thing I can do is to learn from it and, for once, stop repeating the same mistake. I think that if I honestly start accepting this I can probably finally getting over my addiction. 

I ruined my life enough. I’m accepting the past in order to move forward. Now I’m here, I’m aware and awake. I started doing the job (detoxing) and I’m ready to fight. I said this a million times, but I feel different today.

What’s different? I am. I’m accepting my past, myself for who I am, with all my flaws. I started loving myself lately. In a total new way for me. I look at my skin and I caress it. I feel the need to cherish my body, because despite of what I did to it it’s still there, still fine, still my one and only real home. And I’m grateful for that. I wanna give some love back.  The time of crawling in my past, of lying to myself is over. It’s time to drop the guilt and forgive myself. I was just looking for peace and I got misled. Now I know what the right path to peace looks like. It’s full of obstacles and pain but once you overcome those, the realm of joy and peace will be yours.

I would really like to start a conversation here. Is there anybody who had similar life experiences? I’d love to hear about other people’s stories! It really helps not to feel alone in this fight. Addiction is a lifetime fight and we can help each other. If I can give anybody some advices I’ll be happy to do so and I’d be so happy to receive some from you! The comment section is open <3 

[sylviahousegvl-blog]

#qotd #annelamott #inspirationalquotes #instagood #yeahthatgreenville #soberingup #spiritualgangster #spiritualgrowth #hope #nevergiveup #recovery

[ycelaf]

After 24 hours of no sleep. We cute! #battle #drinks #park #soberingUp (at Aliante Nature Discovery Park)

[parentteam-blog]

#Repost @successfultreatments with @repostapp. ・・・ #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #sober #soberlife #soberissexy #soberingup #recoveringaddict #breakthecycle #thesoberlife #12steps #12stepprogram #onedayatatime #roadtorecovery #addictionrecovery #addictiontreatment #cleanandsober #soberliving #staysober #recoverymotivation #positiverecovery #chooserecovery #soberlifestyle #recoveryjourney #recoverystartsnow #selfharmrecovery #recoveryfamily #recoveryquotes #sobermovement

[parentteam-blog]

#Repost @successfultreatments with @repostapp. ・・・ #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #sober #soberlife #soberissexy #soberingup #recoveringaddict #breakthecycle #thesoberlife #12steps #12stepprogram #onedayatatime #roadtorecovery #addictionrecovery #addictiontreatment #cleanandsober #soberliving #staysober #recoverymotivation #positiverecovery #chooserecovery #soberlifestyle #recoveryjourney #recoverystartsnow #selfharmrecovery #recoveryfamily #recoveryquotes #sobermovement

[luckykat86]

Tonight

So I'm sitting here at my favorite hookah lounge, on Halloween night, after a fantastic Gator game, alone, sobering before I make the trek home. I admit I feel a slight bit alone. People watching isn't as fun as I thought it'd be. Social anxiety hasn't reared its ugly head. Key here is: I am happy. It's strange, but it feels right.