I just realised that at some point we get so used to hiding our emotions and try to hold ourselves together that we don't even realise that we are falling apart. It's like when you stop watering a plant, you don't see it dying overnight but it does start decaying day by day and before you even realise it, it's dead. I think it's the same with most people. We aren't exactly dead yet, just in a state of rapid decay.
One of my friends once asked me, "What if you are falling apart but you don't know it?". And that stuck with me ever since. Maybe I'm falling apart. Maybe we all are. However, I don't know what I'm supposed to in this situation. Fighting doesn't help, staying strong is exhausting, distractions are only momentary.
Sometimes I hate my existence like it's pointless but then I look at my mother and find a reason to go on. However, we are merely existing not living. So, when will we stop existing and start living?
~V.J.C
(05.12.2021)
