#source: cheers

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Bucky: All right now, everyone pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute.

Yelena: Why? You're in a hurry?

Bucky: No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Tighnari: Now, while I’m away, I need you to water the plants, pay the paperboy, and take the garbage out on Tuesday nights. I’ve written it all down for you.

Collei: Master Tighnari, you don’t have to treat me like a child.

Tighnari: Of course not, Collei. Oh please, remember: don’t open the door to strangers.

Collei: Master Tighnari...

Tighnari: Well, Collei, there is a precedent set. We lost our stereo that day.

Collei: Well, he looked friendly and needed to use the phone.

Tighnari: It was three o’clock in the morning, darling.

Collei: People have flats at three in the morning.

Tighnari: He was wearing a ski mask.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Eddie: *had gone on a tangent on Frank* I'm sorry, Howdy. What was I saying?

Howdy: *looks up from his stock count* You don't know either?! We gotta have a rule around here - when you speak at least one of us has gotta be listening.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

You think it's easy being a lousy father?

Bruce Wayne, probably

[incorrect-alnst]

Hyuna: Has anyone ever told you you've got a cute forehead?

Sua: No, but I've been told I have acute anxiety.

[incorrect-losers]

Mike: How is life treating you?

Bill: Like I just ran over its dog

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: How's Damian treating you, Tim?

Tim: Like I just ran over his dog.

[incorrectafcrichmond]

Isaac: Well, no one knows for sure, but that's what I think happens when we die.

Will: It sounds nice. Especially the part about rolos for breakfast.