#source: ted

[bwaybby09]

Sam: Can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?

Dean: Judy Blume?

Cas: Hitler?

Sam: F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Dean: Who’s that?

Sam: The author.

Dean: Well, why are you saying fuck him?

Sam: What?

Cas: You just said F. Scott Fitzgerald. What did Scott Fitzgerald do to you?

Dean: Yeah.

Sam: No, that’s his first name.

Cas: His name’s Fuck Scott Fitzgerald?

Sam: What?! No!

Dean: Well then what’s the F stand for?

Sam: Francis!

Dean: No, it’s gotta be fuck.

Cas: It must be fuck.

Dean: It has to be fuck.

Sam: Why the hell would it be fuck?!

Dean: Well, because otherwise why wouldn’t he just say it?

Cas: Yeah, he’s hiding something. It’s fuck.

Dean: Come on, read between the lines, Sam.

Sam: It’s completely insane. You guys are idiots.

[randomcontent2019]

Spencer: Can either of you tell me who wrote the great gatsby?

Derek: Judy Blume?

Y/N: J.K Rowling?

Spencer: F. Scott Fitzgerald

Derek: Who's that?

Spencer: The author

Derek: Well, why are you saying fuck him?

Spencer: What?!

Y/N: You just said "F Scott Fitzgerald' what did Scott Fitzgerald do to you?

Derek: Yeah

Spencer: No, that's his first name

Y/N: His name's Fuck Scott Fitzgerald?!

Spencer: What?! No!

Derek: Well then what does the "F" stand for?

Spencer: Francis!

Y/N: No it's gotta be "Fuck"

Derek: It must be "Fuck"

Y/N: It's gotta be "Fuck"

Derek: It has to be "Fuck"

Spencer: Why the hell would it be "Fuck"?!

Derek: Well cause otherwise why wouldn't he just say it?

Y/N: Yeah he's hiding something it's "fuck"

Derek: Come on read between the lines Spencer

Spencer: That's completely insane. You two are idiots

[incorrect-losers]

Richie: *steps up on stage*

Stan: Oh a white guy doing standup this should go well

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Raph: You don't think Mona Lisa is expecting anything big for our anniversary, do you?

Casey: You mean... like a ring?

Raph: I suppose. We've been dating for 3 years.

Casey: So? We've been friends for 6 years, Raph. Where's my ring? Huh?! Where’s my ring asshole?!

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: I think it’s time to play the Beetlejuice card

Jason: What do you mean?

Y/N: I mean saying his name three times

Jason: What?!

Y/N: Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice-

Jason: Shut up! You fucking crazy? We don’t want that guy running around in here!

Y/N: No, Jay, he’ll be on our side. He’ll help us. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice-

Jason: You’re meddling with powers you do not understand- cut the shit!

[drama-glob]

Incorrect Helluva Boss Quotes

(Cash is taking his kids on a camping trip, but the twins quickly start arguing and messing with each other)

Cash (Finally has enough and snaps): You guys want me to turn this car around right now, huh? You want me to take you both home right f*cking now?

Barbie and Blitzo (Forget their bickering before both start calmly talking at the same time): Actually yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be fantastic.

Cash (Angrily yells back at them): Well, I'm not gonna! (Barbie and Blitzo groan)

_____________________________________________________________

(While visiting Asmodeus for a check up on his new limbs, Fizzarolli needs to charge his phone, but all the chargers in Asmodeus's office drawer are tangled up)

Asmodeus (Sees Fizzarolli struggling and says): Fizz! (Proceeds to grab the air with both hands and thrusts)

Fizzarolli (Looks genuinely bewildered and asks): What is that?!

Asmodeus (Demonstrates again and tells him): Grab the top one and yank the bottom one.

Fizzarolli (Has a look of realization and replies): Oh, thank Satan that what you meant. Although, I'm open for whatever you want to try. Here we go! (Eventually gets the charger he needs free and happily exclaims) Oz, it worked! The pegging worked!

Asmodeus (Snorts and giggles at the remark)

[incorrectsdmi]

Sheriff Stone: Eating eggs after noon is gay!

Velma: What the fuck are you talking about?

Sheriff Stone: Think about it! The gays are up all night doing stuff to each other, and they miss breakfast, so they invent brunch. They meet up around 11, they have their fruity little drinks, they talk about hairstyles and lotions and stuff, and by the time they start eating their breakfast, it’s afternoon.

Fred: That’s actually a solid theory.

Shaggy: I’ve got no notes.

Daphne: I put two eggs in my meatloaf for structure.

Sheriff Stone: No, eggs in stuff is ok. But on their own? Gay.

Shaggy: Like, what happens if you accidentally eat an egg after noon?

Sheriff Stone: You gotta chase it with a straight food.

Scooby: Like what?

Sheriff Stone: Stew.

Velma: *gasps* I ate an egg the night I realized I like girls!

Sheriff Stone: See?

Velma: But I only ate half. That’s why I go both ways!

Sheriff Stone: Right there!

Velma: They couldn’t get the stew in me quick enough…

Sheriff Stone: Hey… it’s not your fault.

[mythos321]

(after getting captured(again))

Sunny: Don’t worry Clay, I’ve been digging a hole in the wall for the last 6 months! We can escape through it!(takes down a poster and reveals…a blatantly sunny sized hole)

Clay: What the fuck?!

Sunny: Yeah! Now we can get out of here!

Clay: You said you dug that for us?!

Sunny: Yeah!

Clay: I can’t fit through there! You- You made that for you!

Sunny: Nah it’s for both of us!

Clay: It’s literally shaped exactly like you

Sunny: …nah, no it’s not-

Clay: ITS GOT A FUCKING SAIL