I would like to tell you all about Lachlan.
Father Lachlan Patrick Typasius Doyle, is a if not THE major antagonist of our longstanding Vampire the Requiem campaign, and the vessel wherein I pour all my hatred for Catholicism. He is my nightmare made flesh. He’s a tattooed ginger megalomaniac with a maniacal need for holy purpose and a charmingly devious streak a mile wild. He’s a misogynistic, racist, homophobic, narcissistic liar who gets his giggles fucking over everyone in his path. He’s the devil.
He’s my coterie’s chew toy.
The first time the players met him, he was an ally. They’d been kidnapped by a local Lancea and forced to suffer through a gauntlet of their sins, fighting their way free until they faced down the vampire cultists themselves in the local Methodist church. Lachlan and his cadre of Catholic Lancea showed up to handle the fight, bringing guns to a church fight and ending things quickly.
He quickly endeared himself to them, by being his charmingly blustering, lying self, pretending to be nothing more than a suffering weapon forced to fight the Church's battles. So, when he inevitably betrayed them, it was great. And ever since he did, they’ve made it their life’s goal to defang this poor, poor man.
When he finally managed to execute his really annoying daughter, they reversed time.
One of them charmed him, and now they have a violent, twisted love affair that is very distracting when he’s trying to take over America (and Canada to a lesser degree).
They stopped him from destroying Los Angeles at least once, and Portland, and New York.
The one time they torpored him they didn’t even let him stay dead long enough for it to ‘count’ and he got very angry about it.
He’d been wounded by a Dhampir and thus was an empty pit of hunger for lost adoration, a restless seeker of glory, but they fixed him with the power of love (gross) and now he gets a lot less done.
They made him lose his faith at least three separate times and that’s his coping mechanism.
They never appreciate his longwinded fire and brimstone speeches any more.
Bound him in a geas to his mother.
Made a version of him that is gay.
Stole his favorite henchman and gave him to WEREWOLVES (why?!).
Used him as an attack dog at least once.
Killed his ex best friend and longstanding arch-nemesis instead of letting him do it (unforgivable).
They’ve finally left him free to build a soulless vampire megachurch in the South, but even from afar they’re still screwing him over by uncovering his local spies and then sending him mixtapes to prove they know.
I cannot tell you how sad I will be on the day he inevitably has to die.
This is healing my inner child.
