Apr 30
Episode 115, Taking Stock. Originally I was going to draw the meat grinder for this episode but then I was like "nah.... I wanna draw Helem🤤" and so I did.
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Episode 115, Taking Stock. Originally I was going to draw the meat grinder for this episode but then I was like "nah.... I wanna draw Helem🤤" and so I did.
Perhaps he needed to get better at seeing his life for what it was. Better at accepting things and trying to worry less about how he seemed to others. The source of his unhappiness was that he had an overdeveloped capacity for imagining what other people thought and allowing this to change him. He knew he was thinking too much about himself.
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
Is Hosting the FIFA World Cup Worth It? A Tyee Debate
Two Tyee senior editors stake positions on opposite sides of the pitch.
The World Cup’s appeal — especially the sheer sporting passion — is wildly outweighed by its bloated, oppressive current model.
the reality is that this is a party for the elite, with everyone else looking on from blocked city streets.
And picking up the tab for rich people’s fun.
Hoop for Episode 115 - Taking Stock, for @rebeccafish23 who kindly donated to RAICES. Thank you!!
"I started to avoid eating the meat I was served, kept my feeding to the small portion of vegetables that he’d add to the side, more a garnish than anything else. It didn’t escape my notice that Cook was also hiding increasing amounts of his arm inside his coat when he spoke to me. First fingers, then the hand, then finally he kept the whole forearm tucked under his jacket so I couldn’t get a decent look. When I thought about it I’d get visions of Cook slowly reaching in, cranking the handle wildly with the other arm, while he pushed his skin and flesh into the whirring iron, mouth open and smiling, as it began to come through the mincer grate like a string of meaty bubbles. It made me feel ill, but I just couldn’t get it out of my head."
I did a tidy up of my blue hexies yesterday. I am going with the dappled effect to square the quilt up so I wanted to see what hexies I have made up. I also wanted to make sure I have more darker ones than light. I want the background to be darker. I think the mix is about right. I will finish making up the hexies I have cut out and then start making the the big triangles to square the quilt up then I want to run a dark border of the flower shape around the edge. While I stitch I will have to think about quilting. I am leaning towards sending it to a longarm quilter to get it finished off. I have hand quilted a queen sized hexie quilt before and it took me about a year and ended up with a ripple in it so I am not keen to go there again. All this should take another year or so as I am not in a hurry with this one, it is my hand stitching project and with a busy year planned I will be working on it as opportunity allows.
Round Two Part Seven - Match 50
MAG 116 The Show Must Go On vs. MAG 115 Taking Stock
The Show Must Go On
Taking Stock
We have back to back episodes today with MAG 116 and MAG 115! The Show Must Go On won its battle with 137, while Taking Stock had 150 votes.
MAG 116 - The Show Must Go On | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Abraham Janssen regarding an incident in the Court Theatre of Buda.
MAG 115 - Taking Stock | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Mikaele Salesa, regarding an antique meat grinder in his possession during the autumn of 1999.
What Fits, What Doesn't: Taking Stock
For this post I'm taking text/bulletpoints/descriptions from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder, from the top of the article to the bottom (because I can't explain things any better), and doing a (very long) yes/no checklist of symptoms/traits/qualities (which I'll further expound on in later posts):
"... a lack of interest in social relationships..."
YES
"... a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle..."
YES
secretiveness
YES
emotional coldness
YES
detachment
YES
"... may be unable to form intimate attachments to others..."
YES
stilted speech
YES
"... a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities..."
YES
"... a degree of asexuality"
YES
"... an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others..."
YES
"... idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs..."
YES (and I'm adding spiritual beliefs and superstitions to this)
"... difficult to distinguish SzPD from other mental disorders or conditions (such as autism spectrum disorder, with which it may sometimes overlap)..."
YES
"... SzPD is linked to negative outcomes, including a significantly compromised quality of life... and one of the lowest levels of "life success" of all personality disorders (measured as "status, wealth and successful relationships")..."
YES
"... Bullying is particularly common towards schizoid individuals..."
YES
"... Suicide may be a running mental theme for schizoid individuals, though they are not likely to attempt it..."
YES
quietness
YES
reservedness
YES
seriousness
YES
eccentricity
YES
timidity
NO
shyness with feelings
NO
sensitivity
YES
nervousness
YES
excitability
YES
fondness of nature and books
YES
pliability
NO
kindliness
YES
honesty
YES
indifference
YES
silence
YES
cold emotional attitudes
YES
"... the majority of schizoids are not either oversensitive or cold, but they are oversensitive and cold "at the same time" in quite different relative proportions, with a tendency to move along these dimensions from one behavior to the other..."
YES
"... the need to regulate interpersonal distance as a central focus of concern..."
YES
"... the ability to mobilize self-preservative defenses and self-reliance..."
YES
"... a pervasive tension between the anxiety-laden need for attachment and the defensive need for distance that manifests in observable behavior as indifference..."
YES
inability to express aggressive feelings
NO
"... autistic thinking... updated definition to include daydreaming, detachment from reality, and sensitivity..."
YES
"... A University of Colorado Colorado Springs study comparing personality disorders and Myers–Briggs Type Indicator types found that the disorder had a significant correlation with the Introverted (I) and Thinking (T) preferences..."
YES
"... neglectful, and distant parenting contribute to the onset of SzPD... their parents likely were intolerant of their emotional experiences. They may have been forced to... compartmentalize their emotions, possibly resulting in the onset of difficulties expressing and processing emotional experiences. These difficulties lead to the child... developing the belief that the only safe environment is one where they are alone and inexpressive..."
YES
"... People with SzPD may... have internalized the belief that their emotions are dangerous to themselves and others due to the negative responses received from others..."
YES
"... In their status of isolation and emotional bluntness they can be self-sufficient and safe..."
YES
childhood trauma
YES
alcoholism in parent(s)
YES
"... Genetic relationships with people who have schizophrenia spectrum disorders increase the risk of developing schizoid personality disorder..."
YES
prenatal malnutrition
YES
"... It is common for people with SzPD to have had major depressive disorder in childhood..."
YES
"... often exclusively choose to participate in solitary activities..."
YES
"... People with schizoid personality disorder typically have no close friends or confidants, except for a close relative on occasions..."
YES
"... may be averse to social situations due to difficulties deriving pleasure from physical or emotional sensations, rather than social anhedonia..."
YES
"... are often independent and turn to themselves as sources of validation..."
YES
"... tend to be the happiest when in relationships in which their partner places few emotional or intimate demands on them and does not expect phatic or social niceties..."
YES YES YES
"... want to avoid... negative or positive emotional expectations, emotional intimacy, and self-disclosure..."
YES
"... can form relationships with others based on intellectual, physical, familial, occupational, or recreational activities, as long as there is no need for emotional intimacy..."
YES
"... schizoid individuals "prefer to make relationships on their own terms and not in terms of the impulses of other people. Failing to attain that, they prefer isolation..."
YES YES YES
"... friendship among schizoids is usually limited to one person..."
YES
"... people with SzPD are at a higher risk of facing... homelessness..."
YES
"... little interest in sexual or romantic acts. They rarely date or marry..."
YES
"... Sex often causes individuals with SzPD to feel that their personal space is being violated, and they commonly feel that masturbation or sexual abstinence is preferable..."
Masturbation: NO, abstinence: YES.
"... Significantly broadening this picture are notable exceptions of SzPD individuals who engage in occasional or even frequent sexual activities with others..."
In the past: YES, currently: NO
"... Individuals with SzPD have long been noted to have an increased rate of unconventional sexual tendencies, though if present, these are rarely acted upon..."
YES
"... Sensory or emotional experiences typically provide little enjoyment for people with SzPD..."
YES
"... They rarely display strong emotions or react to anything..."
YES
"... can have difficulty expressing themselves..."
NO
"... difficulty understanding others' emotions and social cues..."
Others would say YES. I say NO (I understand perfectly, I just act obtuse to discourage people from sharing their emotions with me).
"... It can be hard for people with SzPD to assess the impact of their actions in social situations..."
YES
"... may feel inadequate..."
YES
"... are often indifferent towards criticism or praise..."
YES
"appear distant, aloof, or uncaring to others..."
YES
"... Expressing themselves can make them feel shame or discomfort..."
YES
"... difficulties understanding one's own emotions..."
NO
"... people with SzPD may possess a hidden sense of superiority and lack dependence on other people's opinions..."
YES
"... Unlike the narcissist, the schizoid will often keep their creations private to avoid unwelcome attention or the feeling that their ideas and thoughts are being appropriated by the public..."
YES
"... When forced to rely on others a person with SzPD may feel panic or terror..."
YES
"... often feel unreal, empty..."
YES
"tend to perceive themselves as fundamentally different from others..."
YES
"... can believe that they are fundamentally unlikeable..."
NO
"... Other people often seem strange and incomprehensible to a person with SzPD..."
YES
"... Reality can feel unenjoyable and uninteresting to people with SzPD..."
YES
"... difficulty finding motivation and lack ambition... often feel as if they are "going through the motions" or that "life passes them by..."
YES
"... comfortable with their aloof lifestyle and consider themselves observers, rather than participants in the world around them..."
YES
"... many... recognize themselves as socially deviant (or even defective) when confronted with the different lives of ordinary people..."
YES
"... often experience feeling "like a robot..."
NO (although I've been referred to as such).
"... may try to avoid all physical activity in order to become nobody and disconnect from reality..."
NO
"... This can lead to spending a large quantity of time sleeping and ignoring bodily functions such as hygiene..."
NO
"... may engage in excessive daydreaming and introspection... Real life can become secondary to their fantasy, and they can have complex lives and relationships which exist entirely inside of their internal fantasy..."
YES
"... Common themes in their internal fantasies are omnipotence and grandiosity..."
YES
"... people with SzPD are helpless at many practical activities because of their symptoms..."
YES
"... the anhedonia of SzPD may also cover eating, leading schizoid individuals to not enjoy it. Alternatively... schizoid individuals may not feel hunger as strongly as others or not respond to it, a certain withdrawal "from themselves"..."
NO
"... substance abusers who showed schizoid symptoms were more likely to abuse one substance rather than many..."
YES
"... more likely to use alcohol or cannabis alone than for social disinhibition..."
NO
"... Antidepressants, SSRIs, anxiolitics, bupropion, modafinil, benzodiazepines, electrocardiography, and biofeedback may... be effective treatments..."
YES to modafinil, NO to the rest.
"... Many schizoid individuals display an engaging, interactive personality, contradicting the observable characteristic... definitions of the schizoid personality..."
YES
"... secret schizoids"... behave with socially available, interested, engaged, and involved interaction yet remain emotionally withdrawn and sequestered within the safety of the internal world..."
YES
"... the schizoid individual can express a great deal of feeling and make what appear to be impressive social contacts yet, in reality, gives nothing and loses nothing. Because they are "playing a part", their personality is not involved..."
YES
"... the schizoid individual seeks to preserve their personality intact and immune from compromise. The schizoid's false persona is based on what those around them define as normal or good behavior, as a form of compliance..."
YES
*** I'm really surprised the article doesn't touch upon low empathy in individuals with SzPD, because that bulletpoint would get a YES YES YES from me. I used to suspect that I was a sociopath (I know now that I'm not) or suffered from mild ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) because I had no other points of reference and sociopathy or ASPD seemed like the closest fit (due to how low my level of empathy is). But more about that later.
Statement of Mikaele Salesa
I met this guy on a boat and he was cooking meat.