#therussianbadger

[juanarc-thethird]

Random shit #1

Jaune: Nora, fire a warning shot

Nora: Jaune, this is a high-caliber grenade launcher.

Jaune: Uhg, potato potato. Just fire it, Nora.

[zephyr-ro-emenki]

Dick: "I love the difference between the JL comms and the Batfam comms, because on the JL comm, it sounds like-"

"Wonder Woman": "this is WW1, requesting backup in New York, over."

Dick: "Meanwhile I turn on the Batfam comms and the first thing i hear is-."

"Stephanie": "Tim, How much maple syrup would I need to drink before I can feel my blood pumping through my veins?"

[jetkiss]

i think about this a lot

[my-youtube-outofcontext]

(video link)

[tomscottnumber]

I wonder if you could do a Tom Scott Number for The Russian Badger?

TheRussianBadger has a Tom Scott number of 3.

[spahhzy]

Ruby and Jaune were practicing at the firing range.

Jaune: Testing out a new pistol?

Ruby: Mmhm~

Ruby takes a breath.

Ruby: I hate poor people!

And fires her new pistol, hitting targets with ease.

Jaune: What? You can't say that, Ruby!

Ruby: Sorry, Jaune, when I carry this beauty, I legally I have to hate the impoverished.

Ruby shoots at more targets.

Jaune: There's no way that's true...

Ruby: You clearly don't own an air-fryer... or a five-seven.

Ruby hits more targets.

Jaune: What's so special about a five-seven?

Ruby: pfft~what's not special about a five seven?

Ruby shoots at various different targets from various lengths.

Ruby: The mini-rifle rounds means I get twenty in a mag...

She held up her five-seven to Jaune.

Ruby: And this 30 rounder basically makes it into a pocket AR like those rafficas the old huntsman used back in the day!

Jaune: Yeah but...what does this have to do with the poor?

Ruby: Oh, there's this meme that it has a buff against poor people because the ammo is so pricey (Thank you, Weiss credit card, may she never know)

Jaune: Pistol calibers are dirt cheap, though...

Ruby: Five-Seven can be double or triple the price of 9mm...so it effectively hates poor people.

Jaune: Okay, that kinda makes sense.

Ruby: It's also makes you feel rich to have no recoil.

Jaune: That is a luxury...

Ruby: mmhmm~, and each round has a polymer tip, so you're effectively shooting microplastics at people!

Jaune: That does feel rich and cruel!

Ruby: Yep!

Jaune: So wait....why can't you get me one?

Ruby: I don't think the schnee Credit Union will get you through after your last purchase, and plus, your credit score isn't high enough.

Jaune: In my defense... it seemed really cool to just have a mini pocket statue of Pyrrha with me everywhere I go.

Ruby: Yeah, you only caused a kingdom wide panic, no biggie.

-

Ghost Pyrrha: She didn't mean that, babe. She is just jealous!-

GoL rubbing his temples.

-

[howlingday]

Mercury: Being a lawful anything is completely cringe.

Jaune: "Alignment charts are for the governable. I grow corn in my yard." BECOME UNGOVERNABLE.

Jaune: "Autistic neutral"? That's not a rating, Grey Strawman!

Sun: The three alignments; lawful, chaotic, and autism.

Ruby: I have autism. (Everyone laughs)

Jaune: What?

Ruby: I'm playing with you guys, and I actually do have autism.

Mercury: (Cackling so hard, Can't breathe)

Sun: SHE'S JUST LIKE ME, FOR REAL~!

Jaune: This... This was the last thing I was expecting to hear today.

Ruby: I- I was actu- It wasn't even a-

Jaune: I was not expecting you to one-up everybody.

Ruby: I don't know! Everyone usually talks over me! (Huffs) My face is so hot right now.

Sun: "Bro owns the spectrum!"

[ere-the-sun-rises]

Friends, tumblrinas, countrymen,

new reaction image be upon ye