So the thing about OCPD is it's SO. REWARDING. when something turns out exactly right. It might be 1 in 1000 projects, it might have eaten up 20 hours of my day for two weeks straight, I might have neglected my relationships other responsibilities and mental and physical health to the point of ruin... But when it turns out how I wanted it to, when I DID manage to get everything Exactly Right... there's no better feeling in the world. It was all worth it, I am proud of myself, I've made something Great, it's perfect and amazing and wow. I have to stare at it for hours and just preen myself on how amazing I am for having created such a spectacular thing. Other people couldn't have made this thing so perfectly; other people would have messed it up, left out this little detail, they wouldn't have had the eye I have to notice every way in which this thing could be perfected. *I* did it, because of my dedication, my effort, the tireless attention I *knew* it needed. And then who can tell me that it's wrong to throw myself into things like that!! Can't you SEE how great I can make things, if other people would just listen to me and give me time to do what needs to be done?? How can you tell me "don't stay up all night for 4 nights in a row working on this ((ultimately meaningless)) thing"?? Look at what I did!! Look at how good it is!! Look at how good I am for having created it!! Anyway, every time I get something Right my OCPD gets 1000x stronger and 90% of any progress I've made goes hurtling into space
