Everything
Suguru is reading on the couch when Satoru spills himself all over him, no regard for Suguru’s book at all.
“Suguru,” Satoru whines, dragging his name out obnoxiously long and even though Suguru doesn’t take his eyes off his book, he does bury his fingers in Satoru’s silky hair, letting him know that he’s listening.
“My parents scheduled a date for me tonight,” Satoru tells him after enjoying the head scratches for a little bit and Suguru hums as he flips a page.
Since Satoru invaded his personal space like that he hasn’t been reading, not really, but it’s fun to rile him up like this, and just as expected, Satoru pawns at the book like an unruly cat.
“Suguru, are you listening to me?” he demands to know and Suguru lowers the book with a sigh.
“I’m always listening to you, you know that, Satoru. It’s nice that you have a date but did you forget that we’re meeting the others today?”
“I did not,” Satoru grumbles and he seems displeased. “Couldn’t reschedule though.”
“That sucks,” Suguru says, carding his fingers through Satoru’s hair in a steady motion. “You’re still coming with me first, though?”
“Of course I am! I told that guy to pick me up at Nanami’s place. But I’m going to miss out on so much fun.”
He kind of will, that much is true, but Satoru already looks so dejected that Suguru doesn’t have the heart to tell him.
“It will be boring after you leave, and if something funny happens, I’ll make sure to tell you.”
“You better,” Satoru sighs out and turns on his side, burying his face in Suguru’s stomach. “I’m gonna miss you.”
At that, Suguru chuckles because Satoru is being unreasonable and clingy. Not that Suguru minds it much.
“It’s going to be one evening. A few hours. We spent longer apart,” he reminds him and he feels more than he hears Satoru heave out a sigh.
“And I hated every second of that, too,” he petulantly says and curls himself up close, tucks all his long limbs as close to Suguru as he can get, his arms around Suguru’s middle as if he’s afraid that Suguru is going to get up and leave him there on his own.
“You big baby,” Suguru teases him gently and then pulls Satoru up and close despite Satoru’s initial protest, until he’s curled up in his lap, with his face pressed into Suguru’s throat. Satoru went slack the moment he started to understand what Suguru wanted and he’s resting heavily and solidly against Suguru.
Just like they both like it.
“So you didn’t mind it at all?” Satoru asks after a moment, and since they are so close Suguru can feel the minute tension in him, knows that the answer is important.
But it’s not as if Satoru has anything to worry about.
“I minded it so much,” Suguru easily gives back, because it’s true.
When he’s not with Satoru it always feels as if a vital part of himself is missing and it’s jarring, to say the least. He can deal with it for a few hours—it would be downright detrimental if he couldn’t—but the whole day had been hard.
“I couldn’t relax or concentrate the entire day. You know that. I’ve told you before.”
“I like hearing it again, though,” Satoru admits and Suguru hides his smile in Satoru’s hair.
“It only felt right again when you were back,” Suguru goes on and he still remembers that moment.
Satoru had draped himself all over Suguru the moment he stepped back into the apartment and Suguru had clung to him harder than probably necessary. Things only started to feel right again in that moment, as if a missing piece was sliding back into place.
Shoko is adamant that something about them is very wrong, that this co-dependency cannot possibly be healthy, but Suguru doesn’t mind it. Especially not since he knows that Satoru feels the same.
“Good,” Satoru breathes out, his breath tickling Suguru’s skin and making a shudder run down his back. “We still have time, right?”
Suguru cranes his neck to check the clock. “Yeah. At least half an hour. You can nap.”
“Perfect,” Satoru happily wriggles around in Suguru’s lap until he has found the perfect position to be in—which is exactly like it was before—and then he goes lax.
Suguru would call him out on faking it, if he didn’t know that Satoru really can fall asleep just like that, and so instead he tightens his arms around Satoru a little bit more, pulls him impossibly closer and then rests his cheek on Satoru’s head.
It’s his favourite position to be in and surely he can close his eyes for a moment, too, more than content to have Satoru in his arms like that and feel him breathing.
Suguru is sure that he can even feel Satoru’s heartbeat, in tandem with his own, and he wants to stay like this forever.
~*~*~
“Eh, guys?” Haibara unsurely says as he comes back from the door and everyone expectantly looks at him.
Everyone except Satoru, because he’s busy playing with Suguru’s fingers, his head on Suguru’s shoulder and pressed into his side. He has been in that position for almost the entire evening.
“Who is it?” Nanami asks, a frown on his face because clearly he doesn’t have any more friends than those that are currently gathered in his living-room.
“There’s a guy there who says he’s here to pick up Gojo for a date?”
Silence falls over the living-room and everyone immediately looks at them. Satoru continues to pretend that he didn’t hear and Suguru pokes him in the head.
“Did you hear that, your date is here,” he says and sighs when Satoru stubbornly continues to play with his fingers.
He only looks up when Suguru takes his hand back, ruffling his hair to make it sting less, but of course there’s a pout on his face.
“You’re so mean to me, Suguru,” Satoru says to which Suguru only rolls his eyes.
“Go on your damn date,” Suguru chides him. “You asked him to pick you up here, so off you go.”
He attempts to push Satoru off the couch, but of course Satoru clings to Suguru as if his live depends on it until he finally allows himself to slide off.
Suguru is under no assumption that he had anything to do with that.
“Fine, fine, I’m going. You better not have fun without me,” he says to everyone in the room, his trademark grin plastered back on his face and Suguru chuckles at his antics.
“We’re going to have so much fun,” Shoko says easily, like everyone kinda expected her to, but her gaze is intense and it’s entirely focused on Suguru.
It’s starting to make him uncomfortable.
“Well, I’m going to have so much fun, too,” Satoru shoots back in a childish manner and then he’s out of the door without a look back.
Immediately that feeling of something missing sets in, like it always does when Satoru isn’t in the room with him, and it only gets more pronounced when Suguru notices that everyone keeps staring at him.
“What?” he asks, distinctly uncomfortable with the attention, especially since he doesn’t understand.
“You’re okay with that?” Nanami asks him, nodding at the door.
“With Satoru?” Suguru asks in confusion, because why wouldn’t he be okay with Satoru?
“With him going on a date,” Shoko corrects him and Suguru shrugs.
“Sure. I mean, he told me about it, that his family scheduled another date for him and besides. What does him going on a date have to do with me?”
The stares get more intense.
“But he’s your boyfriend,” Haibara almost yells out. “How can you be okay with him going on a date with another guy?”
Now this brings Suguru up short.
“My boyfriend? Who? Satoru?” The confusion must be clear on his face because everyone shares a concerned look before they focus back on Suguru.
“You two are in a relationship, are you not?” Nanami asks, more careful than Suguru is used to from him and it makes Suguru’s mind go blank.
“We’re not,” he carefully says because it’s not like that between them.
“I saw you two kissing,” Shoko reminds him as if that should mean something but Suguru shrugs.
“He was upset and you know how he is with physical contact,” Suguru explains and he remembers that day well, mostly because it’s the only time he ever kissed Satoru.
They had been hanging out at Shoko’s place for once, when Satoru had gotten a phone call from his family. Those always leave him rattled even when they go over kind of okay-ish, but that one clearly hadn’t because he had been visibly upset after hanging up.
Suguru had ached to make it better, to soothe him, to reassure him that he would be always there for him and kissing him had just seemed like the best option.
It had worked, too.
But clearly Suguru’s explanation doesn’t actually clear up anything for the others because they stare just as incredulously at him as before.
“Suguru, you can’t be for real,” Shoko finally says. “You’re telling me that there is nothing going on between the two of you? That you don’t love him?”
“Of course I love him,” Suguru immediately replies, because it’s one of the very few truths Suguru has in his life.
The sky is blue, the grass is green and Suguru loves Satoru. It’s always been like that.
“Okay, but, you’re in love with him,” Haibara says as if that should make a difference but it actually doesn’t.
“So?”
“So, he’s out on a date. With another man,” Nanami tries to explain.
“He’ll be home by eleven at the latest, so what does it matter?” Suguru asks, honestly confused about the concerned looks he keeps getting.
“What if he isn’t?” Shoko asks. “What if he decides to go home with that guy?”
It makes Suguru flinch but he knows Satoru wouldn’t. He would never.
“Just imagine it,” Nanami now says as well, leaning forward. “Just imagine him going home with someone who is not you. Can you imagine them kissing?”
Satoru’s date is just a faceless person to Suguru, just like all the other guys his family tried to set him up with before, so it’s actually hard to imagine that but when he tries, when he really tries, his stomach lurches.
“Now imagine them cuddling on your couch,” Shoko edges him on and Suguru dutifully does that, too.
He imagines Satoru clinging to someone else the same way he clings to Suguru and this time, his heart misses a beat.
“And now imagine Gojo going to his own room at night, with someone who is not you, instead of crawling into your bed,” Haibara eagerly says and just hearing him say that makes Suguru sick to his very core.
“He would never,” he chokes out but Shoko shakes his head.
“Doesn’t matter right now. This is about you and how that makes you feel. How does it make you feel, Geto?”
It’s clear she doesn’t expect an answer because a downright mean smile is on her face and Suguru covers his face with his hands.
“Makes me feel like shit,” he still whispers out, his entire being shaken by this revelation.
He never worried about this before, always certain that it’s him and Satoru, that Satoru would always come back to him, and he’s upset that this little mind game would leave him so rattled.
“Because you’re in love with him.”
Suguru isn’t actually sure who says it, he just knows that it shouldn’t make a difference, that it’s just a fact that has been stated not even five minutes ago but this time it makes his ears ring and his heart beat out of his chest.
“Fuck, I’m in love with him,” he whispers, completely gobsmacked because how can this be such a revelation to him.
He has always loved Satoru, always knew that it would be him and Satoru against the world but this? Adding a romantic notion to it honestly never occurred to him, but of course it makes sense.
It makes so much sense, now that he thinks about it.
“Finally,” Shoko mutters and Suguru comes back to himself. “You are such an idiot.”
His mind is still reeling when his heart drops to the floor.
“He’s out on a date,” he whispers, horrified by the notion that Satoru is out on a date with someone who is not Suguru and his fingers itch with the need to do something.
“Can you—I don’t know, call him back?” Haibara asks and of course.
Of course he can. That’s the first thing Suguru should have thought of.
He gets his phone out, types out a quick I need you to come back home before he pockets it again and then he gets up.
Suguru knows that Satoru will see the message because even when he has his phone on silent he set it so that Suguru is the exception.
“I need to go.”
“Yeah, you better,” Nanami says with a roll of his eyes but he seems fonder than he normally does.
When Suguru passes by Shoko she slaps him on the ass.
“Go get him, tiger,” she says over his yelp and Haibara simply gives him a thumbs up.
It’s only when he’s at the door that he hears a concerned “You think they will be worse after this?” followed by several groans.
Suguru would be offended—they are not bad to begin with—but he actually has places to be and confessions to make.
~*~*~
Satoru arrives at home mere minutes after Suguru does, which is good, actually, because it gives Suguru less time to think about this too much.
He shouldn’t be nervous—it’s just Satoru after all—but that doesn’t stop him from being nervous as hell. Nervous enough that he actually flinches when Satoru enters their apartment.
“Suguru? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Satoru calls out, and Suguru can just imagine how he toes off his shoes in his haste to get inside and he looks exactly as dishevelled and rushed as Suguru imagined when he finally spills into the living-room.
Satoru scans him quickly and then deflates where he stands.
“You’re not hurt,” he breathes out and Suguru can’t help it, he just has to go over and pull Satoru in a hug.
“You’re not hurt, right?” Satoru asks, clearly unsure again and Suguru shakes his head before he presses himself closer.
“I missed you,” he whispers, aware that it’s entirely inadequate to encompass everything he is feeling but it’s at least something.
Satoru lets out a fond chuckle before he scratches at Suguru’s scalp.
“Usually I’m the clingy one, Suguru. It’s barely been an hour, what happened?”
“I’m in love with you,” Suguru breathes out. “Don’t go on any more dates.”
“I’m in love with you, too,” Satoru immediately gives back, but Suguru shakes his head.
Satoru says it like Suguru said it to their friends before, like it’s something that should be clear, but now Suguru knows that it’s not.
He needs to explain this better.
“I’m in romantic love with you, Satoru,” he says as he slightly pushes away from Satoru, just enough to be able to look him in the face. “I want to kiss you. I don’t ever want you to go on a date with anyone else besides me again. I want you to be mine.”
“I am yours,” Satoru easily says, a habit so well practiced that the words are out before he truly comprehends what Suguru said. Suguru knows that because he can pinpoint the exact moment Satoru understands because his eyes go wide and his lips quiver.
“Oh,” Satoru breathes out. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Suguru nods, his heart in his throat.
It doesn’t need to be, Suguru knows that, because this is Satoru and he trusts him with more than his heart, but it only settles when Satoru smiles at him.
“I am yours,” Satoru reiterates and Suguru knows that this time, he understands. “I’m in love with you, too, Suguru, of course I am.” He laughs at his own words, clearly just as surprised and taken off guard as Suguru had been earlier and he’s so pretty Suguru wants to die.
“I love you,” Suguru says and peppers Satoru’s face with kisses, punctuating every one with another whispered I love you and Satoru laughs and laughs.
His laugh tastes like sunshine and love when Suguru finally captures his lips with his and he has to agree with Shoko, however belated it might be.
They truly are idiots because this feels exactly as it did back then when he kissed Satoru for that very first time and it really should have clued him in already. He never wants to stop doing it.
“No more dates,” Suguru breathes out when they part and Satoru pouts at him in a way that makes Suguru want to kiss it off. So he does, because he can now.
“I can’t take you on dates?” Satoru then asks, mischief sparkling in his pretty, pretty eyes and Suguru flutters a kiss over them.
“No more dates with people who are not me,” he amends and Satoru clings to him in a way that makes Suguru wish they could melt together.
“Only with you,” Satoru agrees, his lips against the soft skin of Suguru’s throat and when Suguru somehow manoeuvres them onto the couch, Satoru ends up in his lap again, just like he did earlier that day.
They really should have noticed this sooner, Suguru thinks, as his fingers splay against the milky white skin of Satoru’s waist, as he presses kiss after kiss to Satoru’s forehead.
Well, better late than never, Suguru thinks and pulls Satoru impossibly closer. It’s good that they already had a touchy relationship before because he doesn’t think he could stop this anytime soon.
“I love you,” Suguru says into the crown of Satoru’s head and Satoru hums like a content cat, nudging his nose against Suguru’s chin, before dropping kisses there.
“I love you,” he says in turn and Suguru practically melts into the couch.
It feels exactly the same as before and yet, somehow, it feels like so much more.
It feels like everything.
