#transtypal

[midwestapoxia]

I'm transtypal

i'm transtypal   I have MBTI and enneagram dysphoria. I want to change my typology in the same way transgender people suffer from gender dysphoria. I want to be INTP 5w4 the most and I want to be ESFJ 2w3 the least   as a trans-INTP trans-5, i can't stand it whenever -someone is more detached than me -someone is more absent minded than me -someone is more engaged in fantasy than i am. -someone is more authentic than i am. -i get told to "not care about what others think" or "not concentrate on what other people are doing" -i am perceived as dramatic, emotionally expressive, performative, or mainstream.   The problem/paradox with being a trans-INTP + transmasc is that traditionall feminine traits gives you dypshoria, but so does having rigid societal expectations.

[transtypalblog]

Transtypal

it's basically trans ID but apply it to typology.

In other words, feeling atypical dysphoria about whatever enneagram or MBTI (or any other system) you type as and the kind of traits, coping mechanisms, trauma responses, etc (basically anything) associated with it

Transtypal people may single out 1 specific type, or it could be multiple, or they could "exclude" certain types from their identity and how they wish to be perceived.

(i'm a Trans5, transDissociated, transNocturnal, transAvoidant, transAntiAI, fluidIntrovert, nullESFJ, nullSexualTwo, nullSelfPresTwo, nullHPD, nullHysterical)

[transtypalblog]

i cant fucking stand this dysphoria

i want the entire world to pecreive me as a skinny, asexual, AuDHD, nerdy, sarcastic, emotionally unavailable, dissociated, absent-minded twink

That is how i self identify

being perceived as hysterical, neurotypical, needy, people-oriented, sexualised, and fembrained gives me dysphoria

So does people not taking my atypical dysphoria seriously

So does people misgendering/feminising me on the internet (not just IRL because that's more dependent on shallow reasons like what i look like) because it's proof i am fembrained enough to be faketrans

Every meme, every interaction with others, every remark other people make constant reminders i am not who i identify as

[transtypalblog]

i cant cope with feeling so hurt and offended all the time. I cant stand being perceived wrong at all its unbearable. People dont even have to know me yet they can tell from miles away i am perceived as female, dramatic, irresponsible, an oversharer, people pleaser, people oriented, sexualised, performative, extraverted, hysterical, fat, stupid, and AI generated

[transtypalblog]

the person that actually want sto buy They wanted morning (not any other time of day) and they assumed i'd normally be outside of the house most of the time i cant stand being perceived as a normie extravert ESFJ

[midwestapoxia]

my special interest is MBTI / enneagram / typology and...

...

i've discovered the term "trans ID" and it describes a lot what i've experienced

trans ID is the umbrella of transidentity, which does not necessarily include identifying as another gender but it could be race, species, disability, etc

I want to have a different personality, type, typology.

sadly i've never heard of this before

as a trans-INTP 5w4 i feel offended whenever someone ackowledges that i care too much about society's opinion or what people think of me, i feel embarrassed to buy a lot of stuff i dont need especially food, i get "typal envy" wheneve someone zones out or plays vidoe games more than i do, or whenever someone fails to believe i have an autism diagnosis and they think my autism is faked for attention. i dont want to be esfj

[midwestapoxia]

as a trans-INTP, being an ESFJ gives me crippling dysphoria

my gender identity isn't believed by anyone. cis people think i want attention. or they deny that i am trans at all in the first place and just think of me as a complete woman. trans people think i am a bigoted transphobe with outdated and harmful views on gender and sexuality. how humiliating.

agoraphobia just feels like an extremely annoyingly embarrassing condition to have. mine was caused by frequent, incessant harrassment. not saying that it happens every single time, many occasions it doesn't. i'd say like 2-3x a month maybe. why am i so vulnerable? why do people make fun of me not just misgendering or catcalling but appearing extraverted, entitled, dramatic, etc in particular?

i read somewhere that wanting to be more introverted and mysterious is last year and that being bold, confident, aggressive is in fashion. makes my Fe ass brain feel uncool for wanting to be an E5, not an E8. i think the reasoning behind that is the former just looked more attention-seeking than the latter, and no-one likes to be labelled attention-seeking maybe?

i feel so heard "how would an extravert would social anxiety behave?" (interacts with people with a smile on their face while secretly overanalysing everything they say. introvert, on the other hand, would withdraw) but also dysphoric because, not that i necessarily want to be more introverted, but i dont want to be an extreme extravert.

[midwestapoxia]

trans-INTP trans-enneagram five VENT

i'm feeling just wayyy too offended to think. or do anything or enjoy anything

i wanted a nice nightwalk in the evening tonight because i was bored and had cabin fever. the moment i got onto a bus a little kid said "people girl" (and the same person asked his mother if he wanted to get off when i got off, it felt so targeted, i was perceived as maternal as well as hyper-social). it's obvious misgendering but also misperceiving my personality based off clothes and gait alone (and surprisignly enough i was wearing khaki colour windbreaker, camo cargo shorts, and black boots. society esp little kids now thinks such kinda clothes is "attention seeking female" like wtf) I honestly feel so lame and so embarrassed to care about what strangers think of me but i think its unsurprisng considering having a history of being bullied, loads of other examples of street harrassment (resulting in agoraphobe tendencies) and non-supportive parents

its so hurtful because being withdrawn and introverted and self-absorbed feels oddly identity-affirming for me.

im forced to be sober because i had a concussion

as a result i feel extreme dysphoria from coping better by reaching out to people instead of self-medication. trying to distracting myself doesnt cheer me up in the slighest. do i really sound like a loud dramatic histrionic hysterical extravert the opposite of the asexual autistic twink i would kill yo be be honest

my discord fwends dm's:

My reality as a skinny autistic antisocial twink is all an act. It's what I am, but I also feel that pressure you talk about.

To conform to that quiet polite ideal. Don't be loud in public or attract attention. Stay measured and mature in your interactions. Don't complain. Etc. Etc.

made my identity feel even more invalid. i'm heartbroken i wanna kms 💔

i also remember how when i went to the shop it was only 8pm but this guy was forcing two younger man (they didnt even look that young yet they were both infantilised) to not have sugar or energy drinks. and they called a trans-looking man male pronouns meanwhile i got misgendered in an extremely cruel way