You’ve been super horny as of late, to a point where your daily dreams end with you having super intense orgasms. He notices it though, even though you think it’s your own little secret. He notices it when you fall asleep sitting on his lap, your dreams forcing you to move your hips in circles or when he wakes up first in the morning, seeing you squirm against him in your sleep, scooting your butt further into him. Luckily for you though, he won’t mention it, to save you the embarrassment of course. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the way you unconsciously grind yourself against him everytime you fall asleep cuddling him, He’d most certainly be lying if he said he didn’t try to help, carefully shifting himself into position to help you get a better angle, placing his hands on your hips to help you grind against him a bit more accurately. Sometimes you’ll wake up from the intensity of your dream orgasm and realize you’re humping him, but he will pretend that he noticed no such activity and you sigh in relief, trying to go back to sleep in the comfort of his arms. Sweet dreams my love, he thinks to himself, shutting his eyes in bliss, afterall, this is what friends are for.
itachi’s june -> day 5: highschool (soft)!bully itachi hcs
-> a/n: i know we are months after itachi’s birthday month but life happens, okay? 😭 and since i’m not really doing kinktober this year i figured i should just focus on this instead‼️
-> modern au, itachi is a highschooler in his third year. he’s a soft bully cus he’s a gentleman core to the end :3 and i can’t see him going over the top~
bully!itachi is a force to reckon with, especially when he’s also a senior at school. the day you first met him was at the cafeteria, you had just started your highschool journey & thought it should go by without an issue. unless— you watched someone ask a senior out. he looked emotionless, vague & so disrespectfully disinterested. it takes guts to ask someone out publically and his personality made you wonder who he truly is. “uchiha itachi. he’s like the highschool heart throb, most uchihas are. then entire family is like a clan sorta thing- they are like, distant cousins or something.” she indulges your curiosity. your eyes mingled with the dude who was standing, looking down at the girl with pursed lips. “sorry, you know i don’t date moderately attractive women.”
wow; what an asshole — you glared at him at a distance, unaware that it was the exact moment where your eyes meet. itachi had beautiful, but stern looking eyes. dedicated stress likes which in his case only made him prettier. you gulped, as if a thief caught red-handed, & looked away. however, what you missed to notice was itachi’s subtle smirk after. “oh no- he’s approaching you!” your friend urgently whispered, and before you could say anything… there he was. “hello, seemed like you really wanted to stand up for the underdog there. why didn’t you?” he hums, leaning in a little. great! no introductions, no pleasantries.
“cus it’s none’o’my business.” you scoffed, looking at him back in the eye. typical dior sauvage mingled with another scent that you don’t figure out. itachi’s smile faded at the sass. “then, if something wrong happens with you, my dear… don’t expect people to care.” he gently touched the ends of your hair, tucking it behind your ear. the action has you taken aback — what did he even mean! “i’m sure i don’t need anyone to step in.” you raise a brow, adamant & dominant in your tone. that’s right - you bloody don’t. you can handle a dude who’s too full of himself all by yourself.
your attention was diverted to the chitter chatter around you. people were almost — fixated on you and him. jesus christ, was he that popular?! you lean back from him immediately. causing him to reflexively wrap his hand around your wrist, pulling you closer to him. even with your resistance, you were bolted against him. your chest pressed against his torso. “what are you doin’!!” your hand was twisted and nudged against your back, arching it. “sorry, i just wasn’t finished with the conversation.” he says simply, still holding you close. “name, and class…”
seriously? what does he think of himself! name and class? “my name’s mind your business, and my class is leagues above you.” you hated that you came up with something so cliche but it was last minute. itachi just chuckled, letting you go. his eyes unwavering as he glared at your friend, calling her with his fingers curling. she’s blinking, unsure what to do and just walks up to him. “hey, what’s her name?” he asks, and she blurts it out. your name, your class. you wanted to dig a hole and die. “why? want to come to my class and bother me?” you glared & scoffed, arms crossing in defense. “mm, not decided yet.” he flicks your forehead & walks away. the first interaction with itachi was so weird…
ever since that incident, some people started looking at you differently. girls approached you more, some of them lowkey threatened you for not buzzing around itachi. as if! you were really not interested in this whole uchiha shenanigan. until, one of these days you were targetted by those same group of girls in the cafeteria. the typical trick of downing an entire plate of food on you does the trick. phones were out, mean comments were being spouted. “she thinks she’s all that” / “oops, are ya gonna cry?” / “who does she think she is?” || you couldn’t believe just an interaction with the uchiha was proving to be so troublesome. you tried your best to control your emotions, to not either rage out or cry about this.
“ah- there you are little y/n.” he hums, walking towards you and leaving the crowd shaken up by just his presence alone. the girls looked at him & you. honestly, you didn’t expect him to hover around this. “let’s get you changed.” he hums, smiling a little. “i’m sure people here would know better than to stress you out again. i suppose, i see it as my sole responsibility.” he speaks to you but his glare is lethal towards everyone. “and i’m sure, people know better than to post those videos. i can hunt them down quite easily.” he coos, walking away with you. dumbfounded. you are literally dumbfounded. “why?” you mumbled, walking with him towards the infirmary. “just because i wouldn’t like someone else bear the consequences of my attention. i’d rather you bear them when i am the sole contributor.” itachi… talked in this weird, refined manner that just made you giggle. weirdo…
that was the day itachi started to hang around you most of the time. you’re going home? need someone to follow you? you don’t? ah, too bad. you can’t make decisions for someone else. he follows you home and makes small talk, teasing you and telling you that he would probably come inside & tell your mom that you like him…. which you absolutely don’t. (yet).
there are some days where he notices you don’t eat much during lunch hours. honestly, sometimes the food from the cafeteria just gives you the ick. you have been seen eating wafers, some junk food and sometimes snacking on protein bars. one of these days, you’d just find him throwing it away. “trash.” is all he says, watching your mouth agape when you notice he just threw off your bloody lunch! before you can say anything, there is an eerie sense or urgent rage that flows through you. coming through as glossed eyes. you push his chest away. “what’s it gotta do with you motherfucker.” you snarl at him, walking away. itachi leaves you alone for the next few days, until you are found eating whatever again. this time when he comes closer to you, you glare daggers instantly. “i will kill you.” you scoffed. however, itachi had… an alternate idea. “brought some home-made ramen with eggs and meat.” he hums, “wanna try?” // “is it drugged?” // “wanna try?” // “is it drugged?” // “what could i possibly gain from drugging it?” // you sigh, taking the ramen from him. itachi & his weird ways of showing affection honestly.
itachi had never been so constant and buzzing around someone at all. with the way he swarms around you, his uchiha cousins have noticed you. there’s shisui, sasuke… and some other folks that he hangs out with. sasuke uchiha is itachi’s sibling, and one day, he embarrasses itachi on the way home with you. “i don’t get it, why do you insist on following me home like a dog?” // “because you amuse me, little one.” // “no because he’s whipped & doesn’t have the balls to say it.” sasuke says out loud, a metre or two away. “ah….. sasuke…..” that was the first time you saw itachi’s careful and calm aura disappear for a moment.
during the highschool trip, itachi didn’t let anyone sit next to you in the bus. him & only him. he even let you lean your head against his shoulder when you slept without a care. no boys were allowed near you. and just to piss him off, you decide to meet up with your classmates late at night for a drinking game. things end up… a little escalated because clearly one of them couldn’t hold their alcohol, and tried to push himself on you. that was the day you realized… itachi is dangerous. especially when you couldn’t count how many times his fists met the poor chap’s face.
-> honestly i think this needs parts i just keep writing on writing 😭 but yeah, he’s not your typical bully per se. he’s just… well, itachi. 🤷🏻♀️
I love your writing, it simply makes my day whenever I see a notification from you. 💖
I don't know if you write Madara, buuuut I just read the ex boyfriend Itachi request and I want to ask you the same scenario with him.
If you don't like the idea or if you're uncomfortable with it, I apologize
Hi lovely, I’m all good, I hope you’re doing well :) Thank you so much, means the world 🤍
And of course, Madara’s not my go to but I don’t have any issues writing about him. However, this may be more yandere ish than Itachi’s just because of Madara’s personality and entitlement lmao
Warnings: yandere Madara, obsessive love, possessiveness, jealousy, emotional manipulation, murder of threats to Madara’s inexistent relationship, toxic ex
I do not condone any of this in real life, this is fiction and purely entertainment. If you are likely to be triggered by any of this, please avoid interacting with this post.
-When he hears you say you want to break up, it doesn’t register. Why would you say something so ridiculous? He can’t compute. He’s imagining things, obviously. There’s no way you’d say that to him. You don’t love him anymore? That’s preposterous. He treats you like a goddamn queen. He’s handsome, rich, buys you everything you want, makes you scream in bed, protects you with his life, he even cleans and cooks for you. Him. Uchiha Madara. Just for you. So it’s not possible. It’s just not-
-Whilst this tirade is going on in Madara’s head, you’ve left. And he hasn’t even had a chance to reply. Now he’s angry. All the heartache he’s feeling, he’s shoving that down and replacing it with anger. How could you do this to him? Leave him when he dedicated his entire life to your happiness? No. No, absolutely not. He’s getting you back, no matter what he has to do.
-He’s too proud to have a conversation with you. He won’t let you see he’s hurting. No, you’ll have to come back to him and say you made a mistake
-He stalks you. Constantly. Tells himself it’s for your safety. After all, only he can protect you. None of your friends are capable of doing that
-He starts by sweet talking your family. He’s always there, talking about how you are on a break, and although he respects your choice, he still misses you and hopes that you are happy. Your family loves him. He’s such a doting man, powerful, from an incredibly good clan, and he clearly loves you. What the hell were you thinking leaving him, y/n?
-Once he’s done that, he goes onto talking to some of your friends. Yes, you are still together, but you’re just on a break. You confront him at some point and say he’s clearly missed the point and you have broken up with him. Madara says he’ll give you some time to think on it. You wouldn’t want to make hasty decisions
-When you start dating another man, the depth of his fury is immense. The next mission he goes on, he’s MIA. Nobody knows what happened to him. Madara comforts you, saying that it’s tragic, but that you shouldn’t have expected someone so weak to survive long in that world. After all, not everyone is like him.
-When it happens to the second man you are with, and Madara shows you proof that he was on a mission on the other side of the country, you can’t take the pain anymore. It’s just horrible to feel that kind of dread all the time with someone else. With Madara, you were never afraid. After all, only Hashirama was stronger than him in the whole world. And he treated you well, you can’t deny that. But he was so jealous and possessive…
-When suddenly you’re on a mission and you’re overpowered, you think you are going to die. But he saves you. And suddenly, you think you see what you once saw in him again. That kind of reliability, the strength, the confidence and the underlying anchoring love that guides his actions. Yes, he’s never stopped loving you. He’s still looking out for you. And maybe, just maybe, you want to be his once again.
-Madara knows he’s nailed it when he sees you walking towards his house. He acts all surprised and asks you if you’re sure, and that of course he loves you and wants to make you happy, but what if you are not? But his plan worked. And you’re happy, and he doesn’t have to race across countries to murder vermin anymore
Rating: This will be a NSFW 18+ multi-part fic. Part 1 doesn't have any outright explicit content tho. Part 2 here
cw/tw: SPOILERS, mentions of sexual harassment (Hidan is a skeevy perv), emotional turmoil, angst?, sexual tension (but nothing actually happens sorry to edge y’all), major eye contact, like way too much eye contact reader and itachi are basically eye fucking each other 90% of the fic, dramatic asf I can't help myself im sorry
Idk what im doing This is my first time writing and really being on tumblr in general, please let me know if I missed any tags or if you have any advice!!
not canon at all (but SPOILERS!!!!) pls humor me, everyone in the Akatsuki is alive and led by Madara/Tobi
Synopsis: Madara, the elusive figurehead of the Akatsuki, is an ambitious yet paranoid man. That’s why he has you, as a security measure, given your secret jutsu that allows you to see into people’s souls to confirm their true intentions. When Itachi Uchiha shows up to join the Akatsuki, what will you see behind his obsidian eyes?
Exhausted. Another cross-country mission with pain in the ass Hidan was just what the doctor ordered for your repressed rage and depression living in basically a wet cave with the rest of these jerks. You tried your best, you really did, to not let any emotions slip through the cracks of your cold facade. Some of them had better qualities than others, but none of your fellow Akatsuki members were people you felt particularly amiable towards.
Most of them viewed you as Madara’s stone-cold right hand, his own personal weapon. He trusted you more than any other member, and that fact alone was enough to instill a certain kind of fear in the hearts of every other Akatsuki member. And you know what, good. The more you kept your distance, the better.
Though your body ached with fatigue upon returning to headquarters, your senses immediately picked up a foreign energy hanging in the air– a presence. Not ominous per se, but definitely a palpable and strong chakra signature.
Leaving Hidan’s perverted requests to join him for some “one-on-one post-mission relaxation time” behind, you made your way to Madara, the chakra getting stronger the closer you got.
There he was.
Your breath hitched as your eyes set on a statuesque man standing across from Madara, his tousled, raven-black hair draped around his stunning face and strong shoulders. A lifetime of stress and hardship left evidence of weariness across his features, and yet his eyes still sparkled with a fierce softness, framed by a set of beautiful, thick lashes.
He was so... pretty. Your eyes dropped down to his lips, then his chest downward as you began to drink him in, feeling flushed with an unfamiliar warm tingling the longer you studied him.
He glanced at you with his penetrating eyes, your cheeks burned at being caught in your lustful admiration. Without a doubt, it was Itachi Uchiha standing next to Madara, a solemn look spread across his delicate face.
You’d seen him in the bingo book before, but all the talk you had heard didn’t compare to standing in the same room as him. It was intriguing, though, for someone with such a reputation, and clearly such immense power, his energy didn’t feel threatening or overbearing to you.
Madara raised a hand to Itachi, finally pulling your gaze away from him, before walking over to you.
“I’m sure you’ve completed the tasks assigned to you, y/n, correct?” Madara asked rhetorically.
You had never failed him, it was important for you to maintain your position in his eyes. Your usual self would have made a sardonic remark about your disdain for working with Hidan again, how a pet rock would have been just as helpful with none of the sexual harassment. But, with the third party in the room, you simply nodded while maintaining your cold, detached demeanor.
“Good, I have another task for you then,” Madara commanded lowly in his deep, chilling voice, pointing his chin in Itachi’s direction.
“This is y/n,” Madara announced, gesturing in your direction as you followed him towards Itachi.
“She’ll just perform a little security check if you don’t mind, nothing personal. I am interested in your usefulness, but I just like to be sure of who I’m working with, I’m sure you can understand. After all, ‘clan killer’ doesn’t exactly have a trustworthy ring to it, now does it?” Madara taunted.
Itachi’s beautiful, brown eyes glinted with an undetectable emotion before connecting with yours, and again you began feeling the wave of heat washing over you.
What was this?! Some sort of jutsu he was using on you?? No.. my god, had it really been that long since you’d been attracted to someone?
Snapping out of your embarrassing realization about your pitiful sex life, you cleared your throat as you pulled yourself together to perform your special jutsu. Your specialty was energy and emotions– detecting, reading, transmuting. This made you very handy to Madara, after all, knowing what’s inside someone’s soul makes it much easier to manipulate them and offer them what they want to hear, in exchange for whatever Madara wants or needs.
Your secret jutsu was something you dreaded performing. You were incredibly sensitive and receptive to energy, so oftentimes it would leave you completely drained and horrified— seeing all of the vile things people have done, let happen to others, things people buried and hid deep within themselves. It was a lot to witness and take in, and have to maintain your icy demeanor on top of that, lest Madara begin to question you.
After weaving the hand signs, you hid the nerves buzzing in your body as you approached Itachi to place your hands on either side of his lean, muscular shoulders and touch your forehead to his. By the power of your jutsu, you were transported into Itachi’s soulscape, where you’d be able to confirm for Madara upon exiting, Itachi’s true intentions and trustworthiness as an Akatsuki member.
Given what you had heard about Itachi, you braced yourself upon entering his soulscape, but were totally unprepared for what you saw.
Time stopped as you and Itachi stood under an endless blue sky painted with magnificent rolling waves of white clouds. The sound of rushing water caught your attention as you looked behind you to notice you were standing several paces away from the edge of a breathtaking waterfall. The cascading water plummeted down the carved earth into pools of emerald green.
Peace. You felt peace standing in this supposed monster’s soul? Itachi stood silent, his eyes intensely watching you as you began to take in more of your surroundings. You’d never seen or felt anything like this, this energy was so.. pure.
Taking a moment to gather all the information flooding your senses, you turned to look at Itachi as tears pricked your eyes. Your heart broke as you began to fully understand and feel the weight of what he’d been through– what he’d been forced to do, and how much of a monster he believed he was because of it. You felt a gut-wrenching familiarity that ignited an inferno in your own soul, pulling you to him like a magnet and calling you to embrace him and never let go.
“Itachi, I-” you moved close to him, your mind racing as you tried to process the truth, “I’m so sorry, for everything you’ve been through.” You delicately placed a hand on his cheek while looking deep into his gorgeous eyes. His demeanor softened as the emotions overcame the both of you.
“Y-You know?” he hesitantly asked, almost too scared to believe you were seeing the real him and not judging or looking at him with disgust.
Your brows twinged with sadness as you nodded, “Everything,” you replied, tears streaming down your pink cheeks.
He placed his large, warm palm over your hand as he searched your eyes for confirmation that this was really real and happening to him. He had always been expected to take on insurmountable tasks, things that made him question morality itself, all alone.
And yet, here you were, seeing him, understanding him, accepting him for who he truly was and not what he had done. The burden of his past finally being shared by an open heart, something he never could’ve imagined he deserved.
You reassured his fears without words, both of you lost in each other’s all-consuming gaze. You had never met before, and yet it felt like your souls had known each other many lifetimes.
You were standing so close to him, the heat of his flushed skin radiated his intoxicating scent, smelling of old-growth forest and clean musk. Every nerve and fiber of your being was lit aflame as his eyes dropped down to your plump lips. His soulful eyes returned to yours as he moved his other hand to gently push a strand of your silky hair out of your face.
You were entranced by his beauty, slowly blinking as you held eye contact with him, fighting every urge to taste his lips that were mere inches away. He equally was mesmerized by your beauty, his eyes scanned all of your features, trying to take you all in and understand what this all meant, how you came to be the you standing here holding him.
“Who are you?” his deep, gravelly voice purred, a gentle smile lighting up his face.
Panic overtook you as reality came crashing down, remembering that Madara was waiting in the real world for your answer. Though time operated much differently in your jutsu, Madara would certainly become suspicious if things took too long.
You placed your hands on either side of Itachi’s face as you held him close, a frantic look in your eyes.
“We’re out of time. Come to my room tonight, I’ll explain everything.” You hurriedly released the jutsu, and collected yourself so you could resume your emotionless facade so as to not draw suspicion.
You turned to face Madara, immediately detecting his impatience, “He passed,” you confirmed, “Sorry for the delay, there was.. a lot there.”
Madara stood silent for a moment before releasing a booming laugh, “Yes, I suppose given our Itachi’s history there would be quite a lot to sift through, y/n.”
He turned to walk past Itachi and beckoned him to follow as he began to discuss his plans for the Akatsuki and, eventually, the world. You stood frozen, body still processing all of the huge waves of emotions you’d experienced in your jutsu. A pit of anxiety began to form deep in your stomach knowing this fated meeting with Itachi meant it was finally time to begin your plan. To take down Madara and the Akatsuki from within.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
If you read this far, thank you so much I appreciate you!! I hope you liked my first fic ♡ᵎᵎᵎ
a/n: i’m a sucker for domestic itachiiii <333 fluff and just, slice of life thingy goin’ on
living together with itachi had its perks. you didn’t have to worry about taking the trash out. you didn’t have to worry about a lot of little things which otherwise irritated you. take today for example: you have had a truly hectic week. meetings, appraisals, work politics, a certain bitch you hate and want to kill. everything was coming together hauntingly. so? saturday you didn’t do anything. being the epitome of a couch potato suits you sometimes. especially when those sometimes include your period.
today your eyes opened to an annoying nuisance. your period cramps again. itachi came to you, a huge mug of iced latte in his painted hands, nudging you tenderly and kissing your forehead. “good morning, you are up early today. yesterday you woke up at 11:45. look, it’s just 10:30” he winked, watching you roll your eyes at him. itachi had a subtle way of teasing you & you fairly understood that.
the coffee tasted immaculate. you had no words to express how tasty it was honestly. just the right amount of coldness, the kind that wakes you up soothingly. the perfect amount of chocolate & caramel. the perfect amount of crushed ice. you looked around the house & decided while sipping your morning drink, today you needed to be productive.
“m’ gonna open my laptop & then play games. after that m’ taking a shower and we’ll go out.” oh— itachi was ‘also’ your boyfriend. makes sense doesn’t it? why else would he treat you like a princess when he could’ve been labelled as king ‘aloof’.
“you will take a shower, work out a bit because it’s been 4 days you haven’t moved your body. i suggest pilates since you are still on your period. then, i will help you cook something for lunch. and further on; we will go out.” you always loved when itachi had his little planner instinct come out for you. there are times when you could really use that.
with that, the day was starting to go by with a slight haze. you had tasks lined up where you’d rather not think. give your mind a little rest by being in the backseat & let your boyfriend handle the itty bitty bits about that all. “speaking of, i need to get my nails done,” you sat on the kitchen counter, watching… or rather, gawking at your man chopping vegetables with such ease. “uh huh?” he looked rather indulged, the bun accentuated his features which would make van gogh bow.
he leaned in, gently placing himself between your legs and kissing your lips softly, hands freshly washed and scared to touch your supple skin. “i love you, angel,” itachi cooed, leaning his forehead against you. “i am so, so glad you depend on me you know that? because you don’t depend on anyone else & that’s what makes me strive so hard to be worthy of it,”
there he was, with his unadulterated words, piercing them deep inside your heart. your pupils shaked in sheer adoration, eyes glossing up. “m’ on my period dya wan’ me to fuckin’ cry?” you whined, leaning your head against his shoulder and hugging him.
he felt so warm, tenderly warm and caregiving that you often forgot that the world doesn’t know, or see this side of him. he’s ruthless to others, often labelled as cold. a twisted part of you likes it. you are exclusive to his love. you’d always be.
“alright now, i want you to eat, then how about,” itachi bit his lower lip, “we do some self care and i prepare us the cosiest haven for watching movies together,” you were introverted & your boyfriend reciprocates the same energy.
“deal!” you grinned, helping him prepare the rest of the ingredients.
little did you know that today was going to be even more special, it’s about time you were just his girlfriend. itachi has something rather too special to share with you tonight. 💍
🐦⬛Itachi sweet boy Itachi keeps everything simple. He fell in love with his S/O and the moment he knew he loved his S/O he knew he wanted to marry them but feared he wasn’t good enough for them
🐦⬛Their romance is a slow-burn real slow burn. Itachi when he falls in love he is 100% with who loves because he had built trust with them.
🐦⬛He spoke to Shisui about his love life. He always speaks to Shisui with every fight or situation he has with his S/O. Boy is 100% lost on love.
🐦⬛Shisui is the reason why Itachi is focused on the relationship and improving it. Without him, Itachi is stumbling around and a bit of a mess in his own relationship.
🐦⬛Shisui is so patient.
🐦⬛Helped Itachi pick the ring and come up with an idea.
🐦⬛Itachi went milder
🐦⬛He proposed at his S/O’s place after handing them their favorite book to read.
🐦⬛The wedding is a mix of western and traditional. He is wearing a wedding Yakata.
🐦⬛He is thinking he is blessed to have his S/O in his life and the thought really hits him after his S/O says “I do”
🐦⬛Spends the rest of the night with his S/O in the corner talking about their future.
🍃Uchiha Shisui 🍃
🍃Engagement Ring🍃
🍃Wedding Ring🍃
🍃Wedding song:Thinking out Loud- Ed Sheeran🍃
🍃Shisui is the most romantic out of all four of the Uchiha family.
🍃His relationship with his S/O is full of cheesy lines just to see his S/O smile.
🍃He planned the engagement during a festival a little after he met his S/O.
🍃Ask the question when staring at fireworks. Followed by a cheesy pick-up line just to see them smile
🍃The wedding itself is mostly western with a mix of traditions.
🍃He will be singing the song under his breath while dancing with his S/O.
🍃The look of nothing but love in his eyes.
🍃Would sneak off near the end of the wedding to get a little frisky.
Naruto imagines I think of but don't have the energy to write
this is the modern au that i created to give some joy to my life.
Obito as a trust fund kid who is a 6 year senior and lives in madara's pool house. if you remember the origin story of Obito's 96 honda civic who's rims are worth more than the car itself. his credit is too poor for even shady salesmen.
Sasuke as an art student who did not want to follow into the family business of whatever (uchihas as a mega corporation is such an overused trope i refuse to add details its not even that important). he basically smokes ganja all day and paints random things (his name carries so he doesn't have to be good)
shisui is a cop (acab) but he's literally the fucking worst because if you're hot he wont arrest you. he drinks on the job but "it's not fireball its cinnamon air freshener" fucking liar. i love him i do but maaaaan.
itachi is a psychiatrist buts its funny because he's literally the worst human being to talk to about feelings. you'll be like "sometimes i wanna die" and he'll be like "me too but let me prescribe some form of legal meth" (i feel like thats my psychiatrist but ok)
madara is retired military who will kick your ass and donates to organizations that try to take away womens rights. no girlbossing in his universe ok. when hes not impregnating instagram influencers hes at town hall meetings complaining about children being at parks.
