#unedited crap

[raisedbyanother]

So much touching in this scene!

[in-sempiternam]

outtakes

[avid-aviator-blog]

Short Fuse

Idk exactly what this is, now that it’s done, but here you go. Borrowed a prompt a loooooooong time ago from @swpromptsandasks and finished it a while ago but didn’t think it was good enough to post. At this point, I don’t care. I might clean it up and put it on my ao3 later if anyone likes it. Lemme know!

It wasn't often that Jedi had to fight unarmed. Ah, but when they did it was a thing of beauty. Especially when it was a Jedi master. Oh, the knights and Padawans were good, certainly, but watching a master. Well. There was nothing quite like it. This at least explained the audience in the training salle, if not why Obi-Wan was sparring unarmed with four clones in the first place. He took them all down within the space of five minutes. Anakin propped himself in the doorway to watch. 

"You used the force! That's cheating!" A clone called from the sidelines. Trying to stir up another match, no doubt. 

"Another round, then? And I swear not to access the Force." Obi-Wan proposed, helping Trapper up off the mats. 

"But how will we know you don't?" Inquired the same trouble-making clone, Rex, Anakin could see now that he was looking closer. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. 

"Unless someone has a Force suppressant on hand you'll have to take my word for it. Or you can get another Jedi to monitor the fight." Here, Anakin's master smirked, "But if someone does have a Force suppressant on hand we'll be having a talk about why." 

"I can monitor!" Ahsoka volunteered from where she was watching on top of the lockers. 

"Well, that's that. Rex, since this was your idea I think it's only fair you are the one to face me in this little spar." Obi-wan's smirk turned positively predatory. 

"Now hang on-"

"And I won't even give you a handicap in return." 

"Handicap, sir?"

"If I'm fighting without my ‘saber or the Force, that would be equivalent to you fighting without your armor while deaf. It's doable, certainly, but it's harder and takes some getting used to." Obi-Wan explains, ushering Rex onto the sparring mat, 

"Now, same rules as last round?" 

Rex nods. 

"Good." 

And then Obi-Wan springs forward striking out at the clone captain's face. Rex blocks with one forearm, throwing a punch with the other. Obi-Wan dodged. The Jedi stepped around the outstretched arm and jumped. Before anyone quite knew what was happening, Obi-Wan had his legs wrapped around Rex's neck. He twisted backwards, flipping the clone headfirst into the ground. Rex did his best to roll out of the awkward landing, and the two came to a stop with Rex sprawled on the mat: Obi-Wan's thighs locked around his head. Rex's dazed struggle was not enough to get up in the required 5 seconds. 

"Obi-Wan wins again!" Ahsoka announced in excitement as she jumped from her perch. "Master Obi-Wan, that was amazing!" 

The Jedi master untangled himself from Rex's upper body and stood, shooting a smirk to the stunned clone still laying on the ground. 

"Where did-" 

"You had to have cheated." Rex interrupted his commander, gazing up at the ginger haired man hovering above him. 

"Ahsoka? Did I use the Force at any point in our... rather short encounter?" Kenobi's infamous brows were quirked. 

"No sir." The young togruta was grinning in unabashed amusement at the cocky clone captain having been so thoroughly trounced. Rex groaned and finally pulled himself up off the mat. 

"Then how the Sith did you jump like that?" He demanded, ignoring the other clones snickering. 

"Practice," if Obi-Wan's eyebrow rose any higher it would float off his face. Rex was waiting for the day. "And a good deal of acrobatics and martial arts training." 

"Can I ask my question now?" Ahsoka bounced on her toes. At Obi-Wan's nod she continued, "Who taught you the throw?" 

"Oh, I learned it in the temple. Mace taught me."

"Master Windu?" 

"Indeed. I asked him to help me with hand to hand so I could better spar against my master." 

"Why did you need help? You said you always excelled in combat classes." Ahsoka crossed her arms. 

"Master Qui-Gon was quite a bit taller than me, and, while Master Yoda likes to say that size doesn't matter, I was at a severe disadvantage. Mace had been sparring with my master since they were both younglings, so he taught me the best strategies. That particular move is useful to know when your opponents are usually larger than yourself." 

"Well, I will be pretty tall by the time I'm grown but do you think I could learn how to do it anyway?" Ahsoka inquired, eyes flitting away as if she expected to be told 'no'. 

"If you want to. And if Anakin doesn't mind." The addend was spoken a bit louder as if to make sure someone could hear it if they were, for example, lingering in the doorway. 

Of course Obi-Wan knew I was here. Anakin smiled, stepping more fully into the salle. 

"You can teach her. Force knows you do better at it than I." 

"That's only because I had more than enough practice with unruly younglings from raising you." Master and Padawan alike yelped a protest as Obi-Wan smiled innocently. 

"You think any of us could learn it?" A clone trooper spoke up from behind the Jedi huddle. 

"I don't see why not." Obi-Wan shrugged. "You may be taller than me but you are far from the largest humanoid we've come across. It can also help with opponents near in size to oneself, but I learned it specifically because my master was a veritable giant." 

"Can we start now?" Ahsoka seemed way too excited to be learning, Anakin decided. Even if it was martial arts.

"If the troopers don't mind."

######

"Cody, I have a problem." Rex began as soon as he arrived his vod's side in the corner of the training room. 

"What? Did you hurt your pride?" The 212th commander couldn't help but tease. 

"No. Well, yes, but that isn't the problem." At Cody's raised eyebrow, (was that just a 212th thing? Were Kenobi's acrobatic eyebrows contagious?) he continued. "I may or may not be lusting after your general, sir."

Cody's eyebrow simply rose higher. (That has to be a 212th thing.) 

"Codes," Rex whined, "He had his thighs around my face. You know I have a thing for legs."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you. If this is just you finally acknowledging that I got assigned to the hot general just wait till you see him in a bodysuit."

---fin.

[roe-faura]

Talking in my sleep

Am I supposed to do this / ’This’ being refusing to sleep / because I could not put my phone down / because I could not quit talking to you / you’re always so nice about it / always letting me be the person to say ’good night i’ll talk to you later’ / ’This’ being keeping you like a secret / a skeleton in my closet / except you are alive and you can kill me in my sleep / and put me in your closet / and so it goes / ’This’ being faking every single goddamn thing about myself / in the interest of being truthful / ’This’ being owning the shift / the unlocking of the monster’s cage / to let out the dormant maybe newly-born heaving desire / for soldiers to keep out the night / ’This’ being saying "I’m not ashamed anymore" / ’This’ being saying "If there is a hell you can lead me down right now" / Am I supposed to do this / Knowing the answer / Succumbing to the cancer //

[warehouse-rat]

(This Is Dumb)

I never used to be this way Never used to lie so much Seems the system's been reversed my verse is my only word lie-free. Though my head is pounding I'm weary, I'm afraid to slip back to them in the Other Land where I am the bitch of the creators imagination. Afraid to wake up to/from reality Unwilling to move and put on the mask. (BREAK. this is where it gets all abstrakt) What is the word beautiful? too many vowels. The T and F too close together, so sharp. The best part, overlooked: Be. The rest unnecessary Simply being is the best kind of beauty there is So what's the difference between form and abstract? Form can be graded but grade is a harsh word you can't grade BEing. Abstract can BE just as much as Form can BE. Feel has a nice ring to it No matter the way it turns the word can feel and BE. Everything can feel, has a feel. But not everything can BE. (Then I try to bring it back around) I never used to be afraid of this Afraid to feel, afraid not to feel Afraid to speak the truth that I know we can all feel. It's these days I've lied so much I can't remember one from another. (This is dumb) In the Other Land there is no feel There is only the BE. And so. I'm afraid to close my eyes for the Other Land and it's lies mingled so deeply in real truth can seem so much better than the feel and taste of this one. I think I'll stay awake. -WZC         

[authoressconjurer]

What is "cool"? Cool is bow ties and fezzes, And deduction and umbrellas. Cool is demons and angels, And wizards and kings. Cool is ninjas and ramen, And countries and pasta. Cool is god tiers and pie, And wombats and temple rats. Cool is being non-ironically excited about the things and people you love. Cool is you and me and our entire chosen family. Cool is whatever we want it to be, So instead of changing to fit someone else's 'cool', Change your 'cool,' To fit you.

[pastamussolini-blog]

so my mom and i have been arguing all day

and basically she's still attached to this thing i said a few days ago. i'd been uploading my ginormous multi-scholarship application a few hours before the deadline (even though i'd had it done before that and just had to copy-paste stuff in) and the site was having problems and kept logging me out, which was of course stressful because i thought i wasn't going to get my app in on time. and i told my mom and she decided she'd grate on me for being a "loser" and tell me how this isn't what successful people do, and i was so tired of her telling me this kind of thing when she actually has no idea what she's talking about, especially considering the enormous volume of work i had to complete this month (as well as help on our goddamn farm) so i, stupidly and cruelly and meanly and really i shouldn't excuse it at all, told her that she had no room to talk about being a loser because she didn't even finish college. and she told me that it didn't have to to do with college and that i couldn't run my own business like her and i told her that her business has made almost no money and that she couldn't even provide consistent income (which was worse of me to say, even) and she told me that she doubted i could do any better and i told her that i knew i could do better because i would finish college and i would make better money than she has

and that was really stupid of me and i hate myself for saying it, but i didn't mean it at all and i told her i didn't mean it and she seemed to understand that i didn't mean it but she's still bringing it up (on top of all our other problems) and i got annoyed and i said that if i thought she meant everything she'd ever said to me, that i'd probably have a nervous breakdown or something

which is true

but

i told her how she'd been telling me since i was about nine or ten that i should go and live with my father whenever she got too angry at me, and she disagreed and said that she didn't say it till i was twelve, and while she may believe that, that isn't true. and so i told her it wasn't true, and she went into this huge mopey rage about how she was an awful parent and how i've proven that all the years of my life were wasted because of her and how i should have had another parent

and that wasn't the point of what i was saying at all. i was trying to say that we don't always mean what we say (even if that was a horrible way of saying it, i know) and that she of all people should know

and so she's been ignoring me/intermittently yelling at me all night and she just came into my room and brought up everything i just told you about and we argued and then she said this:

"there are things that you don't even fucking know, that i've shielded you from, that would break your heart, that would make you hate yourself for the rest of your life"

and then she wouldn't tell me what they were and she left my room and i 

what

what are they

did i do something really really bad in my sleep

i'm really concerned about this and now i want to know but then again, i really really don't

but i do because i hate not knowing

and god also when did my life become a soap opera because that is a really good soap opera line

[juliana6]

What Happens When Mike Goes Out of Town (unedited*)

LOST THEN FOUND DOG GUNTHER

I posted this to Facebook but since there are mother and fathers on that feed, I have to be a bit careful. Fortunately, no one really knows about this Tumblr thing so let me expound on my weekend a bit further, if only to entertain myself. **

This weekend was just what I needed: Totally uninterrupted Julie Time (similar to Hammer Time but leggings instead of flashy pants***), lots of Lifetime Movie Channel movies and lots of time rewinding certain scenes from Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Lady Chatterly's lover, which I recorded when I was 3/4 of my way through a Chardonnay bottle, a rainy day, no vomiting but woke up to realize that I drunk online-shopped and ordered the DVD of Prime, unrestricted time at Forever21 and Sephora where I spent $150 on makeup that no matter what I will myself to believe it will not make me look younger, a guitar lesson and a lost dog adventure (not Tank, another dog and we found his owner, who was visiting a neighbor who is a hot surfer guy and has me self-conscious about my next 6am run to Starbucks.) That said, I can't wait for Mike to get home! No, seriously I really mean that. Also, the trash needs to be taken out. *I know Paul Brady will have some edits to make and I will happily accept them. ** Ok, I do know that Paul Brady reads this Tumblr. ***The original FB update said: Similar to Hammer Time but without the pants to which a dude from high school that I have not seen since 1996 but is still quite funny said, "Mmm well i guess it sounds appropriate that uninterrupted Julie time without pants doesn't involve mike...." Am completely mortified that my totally innocent weekend  (seriously!) now looks like a regular Monday night for Samantha Jones.