Just thinking about getting into bed after a long day of your thankless job, dealing with your family's issues and just surviving another day. Sliding in between the sheets, feeling all the weight just crush down on your chest. One minute you're staring up at the ceiling fan and the next you're feeling hot fat tears roll down your cheeks.
You have it so much better than others, you tell yourself. You have a roof over your head, a job that pays well, food in your belly, you should be grateful, the inner voice chides. But tears come faster until you're gasping for breath.
The body next to you stirs and you freeze.
In your exhaustion you didn't realize he was already in bed and immediately you're consumed with guilt. Here's a man who's out there risking his life on the daily, trying to get some rest and you're sobbing because Ryan yelled at you at work. You contemplate maybe getting up and sleeping on the couch but the energy fails you. Instead you settle for rolling over to your side, hugging a pillow to your chest and sob as quietly as you can.
The tears keep rolling as you think back over your day. Calling yourself all sorts of names over your stupidity, settling on a chant of 'inconsiderate stupid selfish bitch'. At this point your face is hot and sticky with snot and tears, just as you open your mouth and draw in a shuddering breath you feel a strong heavy arm wrap around you and pull you back to a strong wall of muscle.
For the second time you freeze. He wraps his heavy arm around you tighter, the grip more effective than any weighted blanket.
"It's alright, sweetheart," he murmured, voice thick with sleep, "whateva it is we'll deal with it in the mornin'." he presses a kiss to your hair but never loosens his grip. The tears slow, the empty exhausted feeling inside is edged out with the love and acknowledgment of being seen. He never asks you to stop crying or reassure you the problems weren't worth the tears, just that he's there and will be there.
And for now that's enough.
