Muse | MYG FF (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/393982370-muse-myg-ff?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=sglossmin
Plot: What happens when the man you practically simp over in high school, is right now, sitting across you after almost 10 years of not seeing him? Worse? You're here for an appointment for therapy and he's your psychologist.
Warning: Mature themes and contents!! English isn't my first language so pardon me with some grammar errorsT^T
AVAILABLE ON WATTPAD NOW!!! (just in case, some prefer to read there^^ also to widen my audience)
I need help finding a fic I read a long time ago and can’t find 🙈 It was a Yoongi angst. Don’t remember name or anything. But I do remember that it was about him being married to a Korean model (I think he was an idol? I can’t remember tbh) but his ex wife was a foreigner and she was a designer (I think) and she did an interview where they asked her if she was happy now that she had divorced Yoongi and she said she was content. And Yoongi saw the interview and was so HUNG UP on the fact that she said she was content and not happy. And I think his new wife noticed and was not happy about it and then the group was in an interview and they asked Yoongi what he thought about his ex’s response and I can’t remember what he said but his wife was pissed when he got home ….
I know my recap is lowkey ass but I seriously cannot remember the name and I’m itching to read it again cause I’m a sucker for Yoongi angst that isn’t purely smut lol
So if anyone knows what I’m talking about, I’d be so appreciative if y’all can’t send it my way. TIA!
Genre/Tropes : established relationship, miscommunication, angst, yelling
Word count : ~2.2k
A/N : Hello sweet readers! Finally the third part!! Enjoy it please<3 Not much left before these two go heart to heart ^^ Are you excited to see how this plays out?
<
Next morning Yoongi is once again met with a displeasing view. You silently rushing around the room collecting your clothes and toiletries. His breath quickens and he shoots up in bed clutching the comforter as if he has woken from a nightmare.
His eyes move around following your form and only as you turn to leave you notice him. His eyebrows furrowed a sleepy and confused expression on his face. You take it as a hint to leave the room and quickly scramble out without a word.
Yoongi holds his breath the moment your eyes meet. He couldn’t read the expression adorning your face and it scared him. He once again ran hands down his face taking in a deep breath. His heart still hammering inside. Yoongi was even more scared now then he was yesterday evening. The later realization coming back to hold him by the neck. When a thought shoots in his head. He still needs to apologize to you.
He quickly throws on sweats and moves out of the room. He can hear the shower running in the guest room and stays behind the door, scared to invade your personal space now and tick you off.
On the other side of the door you were getting dressed with those same thoughts. Scared to tick Yoongi off you try to make yourself scarce as fast as possible. The stare you’ve been met with this morning almost put you in cardiac arrest as you heart stopped.
You exit the shower and start pulling on your work clothes. Suddenly a knock on the door stops your heart once again. “Y/N?” A small voice catches your attention.
You haven’t heard your name leave his lips for so long. You stop for a moment frozen in space but quickly recover as your phone lights up with notifications. You need to hurry or you’ll be late for the new presentation.
Yoongi can hear you shuffling inside the room. Excitement fills his insides when he hears your footsteps coming closer to the door. He braces himself to face you, hug you, kiss you and fall to his knees before you to apologize. The door opens and Yoongi barely catches sight of you before you scurry down the stairs. A thought enters Yoongi’s head. You’re running away from him…
He comes after you hot on your trail. When he stands on the bottom of the staircase he can’t do anything but observe you putting on your shoes and taking you bag in your hands. That’s when it clicks for him. You’re leaving.
He nears you in three big strides and catches your arm before you can disappear out the door. “We need to talk” he says assertively. You only look at him with big eyes and stutter out a “I’m late for work” before removing yourself from his grasp.
Yoongi stands there frozen in place. Everything seems to drop into place for him now. The detachment in your eyes, the space between you two now miles. This relationship is hanging by a thread...
You were full of adrenaline as you reached work, not only from running but from the weird morning encounter with Yoongi. You quickly pushed Yoongi out of your mind and walked through the office door. After setting your bag on your chair you grabbed your computer and set off to the meeting room.
After three hours you finally slumped down in your chair a smile adorning your face. A tear of happiness escaped your eye and you wiped it laughing. You got it. You got your position.
You could not contain yourself as you started typing out a message to Yoongi. Your finger stopped right above the send button. The whole world stilled as you deleted the message not wanting to annoy your lover any further. The thought once again made you sad… he didn’t feel like a lover any more…
“Congrats Y/N you were amazing!” Your colleague Hyun clapped you on the back. You turned to him “Oh!” You were startled but recovered “thank you, thank you” you smiled once again. “Great even amazing job on the presentation. Finally, you put that Lee in her place. Please fire her I’m getting tired of listening to her..” he rolled his eyes jokingly and lounged on your desk beside you.
Hyun kept up small talk asking you about the document, your days and finally reaching a topic of a new café down town with famous Japanese buns that you’ve been craving to try.
“That place is bomb! I was there a few times while in Japan they have the most delicious buns I have ever tried” Hyun almost melted on your desk holding his tummy “It’s all I want in life” he closed his eyes theatrically. You laugh boomed through the office at his actions and you held yourself back after receiving some judging glances. “I’m convinced alright stop making a scene someone might kill us” you giggled.
Hyun got serious, straightened up and looked into your eyes “Come with me”. Your giggle stopped in your throat “W-what?” “Come with me to the opening. We can go on Saturday it’s our free day thanks to you” he smiled. “C’mon Y/N we do need to celebrate you somehow” his eyes were full of affection.
Your head was spinning. Hyun has been your good friend for a couple of years in the company. But that’s it, there was never anything more than that. You had never taken your friendship out of the confines of this office and now you were feeling like maybe you wanted it. It was nice having him here at this moment, having someone congratulate you, take interest in you day and laugh together.
You gulped as Hyun got up from your desk a hand on your shoulder “I’ll get back to you” he smiled and walked away. Your eyes followed him and your heart lit up with a possibility of a new friendship.
While you were congratulating with Hyun, Yoongi was having a fight on his own.
Repairing his music was going as NOT smooth as possible. Despite the fact that he had no music, he also had producer Cho on his ass. Cho has not left him alone for the whole day.
Yoongi could deal with Cho being in the studio but he could no longer deal with his shouting and constant nagging, tough Yoongi could not say a thing back.
Apart from Cho, you were also on his mind. The morning encounter, the evening fight all of it pressing him from within. Yoongi wanted to cry. He wanted to cry his whole body out and curl up in your loving arms so you could nurse him to health again. He wanted everything to be alright. But most of all he wanted YOU. He wanted YOU to be alright. The thought made Yoongi tear up and drop his head into his hands for the hundredth time that day.
“Hyung it’s time for practice” Jungkooks voice filled the studio and immediately irritated Yoongi. He let out a groan “yeh I know.” Jungkook slipped into the room leaving the door ajar and and looked around awkwardly “Hyung are you alright?” He laid a comforting hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and Yoongi shot up out of the chair making Jungkook jump back and land awkwardly on the carpet before the couch. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM ALRIGHT?! IF YOU DON’T ALREADY SEE NO NOTHING IS ALRIGHT YOU- YOU-UH?!” Yoongi towered over the younger male body shaking with anger. It didn’t take long before all of the members filtered through the door to see what was happening. Namjoon and Jin quickly evaluated the situation and jumped in front of Yoongi making him sit at his chair while Taehyung and Jimin helped a tearful Jungkook up. “What the hell is going on here?! Jungkook are you okey?”the leader tried to bring peace back.
Yoongi glanced around the room eyes meeting Jungkooks. Eyes filled with tears looking up at him, a sight so sad it reminded him of a worse one...
Yoongi was taken over by his emotions once more, he could feel something brewing inside him and he had no idea how he was going to deal with it without you. “Yoongi? Tell us what’s wrong? You’ve been distant for a long time now? Is it Y/N??” Jin’s voice uttering your name was like the final straw in Yoongi’s emotions and he let it all flow.
With his tears flowing down his cheeks all the hardships flowed out too. All six members sitting around now listening to their brother cry out his concerns about his relationship and work.
“And I’m so sorry Jungkook that you happened to probe me at the worst moment. I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you…” Now Yoongi felt embarrassed not only about this Jungkook situation but also about opening to his members up about his emotions and struggles with your relationship.
“Hyung it sounds like the two of you just …grew apart…” Said Hobi and Yoongi’s head shot up to his brother eyes full of fear. “No no no not that way, maybe not grew apart but simply spent too little time together and have simply misunderstood one another’s feelings now. And to be honest time has not been kind to the two of you” Jimin tried to help his friend who looked like he was having a heart attack.
“Jiminie is right, when was the last time you talked with Y/N?” Yoongi fell into deep thought and the members looked at him hoping for an answer. The longer they waited the more scared for their friend they got. Yoongis face went from thinking to breaking in a few seconds and tears once again flowed.
A soft chorus of “Hyung” and “Yoongi” was let out by the boys as they stood from the couch and gathered around Yoongi to hug him and wipe his tears. “Yoongi look at me. Stop crying and go. Find some flowers a nice drink and something delicious then go get your woman and tell her that you love her.” Jin looked sternly into the younger man’s eyes.
Yoongi blinked a few times and nodded his head but then a revelation from yesterday popped back into his mind and he lowered his eyes to the floor again. “What if she doesn’t want me anymore...” he whispered the paralyzing words for the first time and it hit him more than he thought it would. The air got knocked out of Yoongi and the others noticed. “Yah! Stop it hyung!” “Yah go get Y/N! You know she loves you just don’t give up”
It felt like a breath of new air being supported by his brothers and it gave him new bravery to text you.
Yoongi: Hey...
Yoongi: When do you finish work?
Your eyes shot away from the computer and back at your phone when you read the senders name. You gulped and could feel cold sweat coating your body. The text was exactly what you had been expecting for a while. This is it. “Maybe it’s something else, c’mon respond” you thought trying to stop yourself from going into shock.
Y/N: Hi
Y/N: I finish work at 9
Y/N: Why?
Your heart beat fast and out of rhythm as you waited for a response praying for a better one than you have imagined.
Yoongi: I’ll pick you up.
You sat now thoroughly confused by the message. Why would he want to pick you up? Was he at home now? He wouldn’t just break up with you now would he?
If this situation had occurred weeks ago you would have jumped up and down at the thought of your boyfriend being spontaneous, however now it only served to make you nervous. You couldn’t imagine being at such a close proximity with him.
“Y/N did you get my message?” Junhi stood at your door and you awoke from the nightmare that was going on inside your head thanks to your boyfriend. “Ah message? Oh yes yes I got it sorry” you buffered looking at your computer screen trying to find a message.
“Interesting” Junhi chuckles. “Huh..?” You turn to him dishevelled. “I didn’t send you any messages. Are your messages haunted sweets?” Junhi came inside your cubicle and sat on your desk. “Don’t call me that it sounds like we’re dating or something..” you lowered your gaze in disgust.
“That doesn’t sound that bad huh? I could be your work boyfriend? We’d make an office power couple. At least you’d have someone to attend the party with on Friday” he flashed a smile searching your eyes for contact. He locked his eyes on yours finally and you let out a weak chuckle ‘this idiot again…’ . “Is there anything you need help with Junhi?” you asked looking through your documents, only one man on your mind, heartbeat elevated.
He felt like a creep watching you from far but how can he resist a lovely angel like you?
There you were laying on the grass, wearing your favourite white summer dress with your hair splay out on the grass where both of you once always crash at after classes back then in college.
It is a nice place. Small pond with small fishes, trees and bushes surrounding the place, pretty much secluded area that only both of you know the location. Though, yoongi never thought you will come here after so long.
Looking at your motionless body laying on the grass, he’s guessing that you are taking a nap but he felt uneasy that something might happened to you and you fell unconscious. Slowly, he move towards you without making a sound and sit next to you. Putting his finger close to your nose, he feels that you are still breathing. At that, he felt relieved that you are just fine and decided to leave. However, your peaceful complexion makes him want to stay with you for awhile and, he did. Maybe it wont hurt to stay for awhile.
The light that passing through the trees were illuminating on your face. Yoongi realised you were scrunching your face because of the light blinding you. You were about to wake up but he quickly covers your face with his hand to block the light and you fell into your deep slumber again. He didn’t know how long he should be there but he is wishing that he could stay until you wake up.
He loves seeing your peaceful face. He misses this. He misses you, his y/n. But ever since both of you parted ways, you change so much that he almost couldn’t recognise you.
His y/n always have a smile plastered on her face whenever she sees him, an affectionate yet loving woman but now, your face as cold as an ice. She works non-stop when she was the one who used to scold yoongi so much for over-working and with the way you body and face gets more and more lean, he knows that you have stop caring for yourself. He regrets so much for breaking you. The one who should break is him, not you, a poor innocent soul.
Not wanting to disturb you any longer, he thought that it is time for him to leave before you wake up but his movement turned into a halt when he saw a small paper bag beside you. He took it quietly to take a peek.
Oh, how much he wanted to cry. It is a fish pellets. He stands up and walk towards the small pond. He felt that his heart slowly starting to pump faster and faster. As soon his eyes set on a koi, he broke down and whimpered. How do one fish makes him cry you ask?
It is the same fish he bought for you on your 19th birthday, also the day he confessed to you. He recognised the koi since it has the same cut like it got torn on its right fin. And it hits him when he realises that you are actually waiting for him because he knew how much you treasured the fish. It has been 2 years now yet you still take care of it when you could have abandon it and let it die. All along, you have always come here everyday. Waiting for him.
“still alive and thriving huh, Komorebi?” he greets the fish. He sniffed and wipe his tears away but to no avail, the tears just couldn’t stop falling.
“yoongi?”
he felt his body become stiffed when he heard you called your name.
did i stay for too long? shit, what should i do?
He heard footsteps slowly getting louder towards him and felt you stop beside him. He slowly turned his head until you’re in his sight.
“I havent fed Komorebi yet. I was so tired that i fell asleep in an instant- oh yoongi? why are you crying?”
what?
And he felt your soft palms wiping his face gently but he notice that your eyes getting teary.
why are you acting so normal?
“you let me touch you now.” you sobbed.
“dear lord, i must have slowly getting crazy. i saw your presence here everyday but you never let me touch you until today. I always thought that seeing you here everyday is real but how are you real when you are at Seoul now? Perhaps, maybe i am already crazy. Even if the you right now is not real but thank you. I really miss you. So so much.” you hug yoongi’s torso but man was too taken aback to speak.
You have been hallucinating..
Hot tears were gushing down his cheeks. The break up broke you so much that it disrupt your mental, fucking with your head. Feeling his heart throb, he hugged you tightly, wishing and hoping desperately it will make your pain go away. You were already a fragile person to begin, he was aware but why did he still shattered you down? What kind of monstrosity he is that he ruined you so much?
Both of you stayed like that for the longest time. He never wanted to break the hug from you but he need to fix this. He need to make this right again. Yoongi broke the hug and cupped both of you cheek gently. He tilted your head up to make you look into his eyes.
“Baby, this is me. This is real. I’ve come home. Ive come back from Seoul. I miss you so much that i couldnt stand anymore and decided to find you. Please forgive me. Im really sorry, y/n. Let me fix this. Let me take care of you again, angel. I promise, i promise that i’ll bring back your happiness again. I really cant live without you, it felt so suffocated like half of my breathe were taken away. Give me another chance to fix this” he sobbed.
He can see that you are very much perplexed. How can he blame you? After suffering for two years long, of course you would be so confused but then you too started to cry.
“I do, i have forgiven you already for a long time ago but please convince me this is real, yoongi. My head and my heart hurt every single second and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow knowing that all of this are lies again, that all of this are just fucking with my head.”
Yoongi slithered his hand into you hair and push you head gently towards him, smushing both of your lips together. He pulled you so close to him that you are now sitting on his lap. You kissed him back and wrap you hands around his neck, pushing more into his mouth. He then lick your upper lip, a sign for you to open up and you obeyed. Both of you tangling the tongues, relinquished into the feeling. Everything felt so overwhelmed but neither of you want to stop. Not after two years of separation. But then, both of you needed to breathe and break the kiss. Saliva still connected from lip to lip and both of you pants so much to catch a breath after an intense make out.
“Does this convince you?”
“No, want you to convince me even more” you tucked your head into his neck and he felt you smile.
“are you really not convince or you just want me to kiss you more? you know you can just ask, angel.” he chuckled.
“hmmmm maybe both”
“but i wont give you kissess until im bringing you to eat” at that, you pouted at the thought of not getting any kisses from him.
As you two staring into each other’s eyes, both of your eyes are swollen because of the tears but both of you never careless about it. All that matters are it feels pleasant and warm to be back into the rightful arms.
“im so glad that i choose to take care of Komorebi. Even if it take for two years to be back in your arms.”
“I’ve gave you koi because ive read that Koi is a symbol of love. I thought it was bullshit but look what Komorebi have done to us. I’ve never felt so happier now. Im just so happy that i gave you Komorebi.”
Saudade: Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves.
28 October 2020
Hello it's me Min Yoongi. I am still getting used to this. Writing about myself and talking about my everyday life to you. Not that it constitutes much, just basic things like eating, playing video games, working on music and playing with Holly. Oh have i told you yet i have a dog named Holly.
I was resentful about this at first knowing that I hadn't told Y/n about this. But further as I continued it I felt good. This way it is so much better rather than meeting outside everyday.
Imagine getting caught by paparazzi, oh my I can't even imagine how much of a scandal it would be. Now that we have landed on the topic of paparazzi I somewhere think it's because of them that I have started to become anxious about going outside.
I remember when I talked to you during our first meeting I have never felt so relieved talking to someone except Y/n. By the way, I am planning on telling her soon.
I really can't hide it anymore. Is it wrong to do this while she is gone. What will she think of me?
Okay this is good, i feel this is all I wanted to talk about today. Bye, hope to see you soon.
To, Kang Soowon
Looking over at the digital clock sitting on the desk, which displayed 6:00 pm indicating it was already evening. The shimmering orange hues shone in the apartment acting as a proof.
Hitting the send button he relaxed back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling. The entire house was peaceful with just a few sounds from the cars passing by and Holly's barks.
He had grown accustomed to these sounds for over a week now. These were the only things that made him feel he was not completely alone. His prominent source of chitter chatter and chaos had been out for a week now.
She had gone on a trek with bangtan as the only representative for the couple. On the other hand all the members had accompanied their wives or girlfriends. The youngest one Jungkook had also brought his daughter along with them for this trip.
Funny how the maknae was the first one to be a father out of all of them. Even the eldest was married and had a stable married life now and following his footsteps were his younger brothers.
Soon Taehyung was also going to propose to his long time girlfriend. Now the only one left was Yoongi. Yes he was dating you but that's it. There were no advances in the relationship yet.
You both knew you loved each other dearly and had also confessed to each other previously. Not in a very romantic manner of course, it took place when Y/n presented Yoongi a plate of spaghetti which she made all by herself from scratch.
Even though it was not the very best in regards to taste , he admired his girlfriend’s hard work and the love she had put into it. Her eyes focused on his face just to get a nod of approval from Yoongi.
It wasn’t bad considering it was her first time making it. He looked up to give an appreciating remark to Y/n when her face lightly covered with flour came into his sight.
Oh how cute she looked. But she was so eager to get feedback from him that she did not realize that he was staring at her face with a slight smile.
“It’s good, really good!” Yoongi said, taking another bite out of the spaghetti and picking one bite for her to taste.
A frown formed on her face as soon it landed in her mouth.
She started to mutter how bad and bland it tasted and asked Yoongi how he even managed to chomp down the whole plate, literally taking the last bite. “Why do you even bother eating this let alone finish the whole thing,why?”
“Because I love you” Y/n’s constant emphasis of why and how seemed to have done its work subconsciously on Yoongi’s mind. When the reality of what had been spilled clicked both of them, their heads instantly turned to each other to take a glance at their partners faces.
Both of them were trying to find any hints of cringe or “oh it came out by accident” kind of look on their face. But all they could decipher the stunned and honest looks they had.
”You love me Yoongi?” she asked him just to make sure that those words were not just tongue slips. This is the time Yoongi says it, say those words out loud to her, the words that you had been practicing secretly in the bathroom for weeks and even when working.
Partly also because of Seokjin’s proposal video which he had decided to keep as an inspiration when it would be his time to do it. But alas! look at the situation where they were in both in their pyjamas in their not so clean house a complete 180 degree of his hyungs proposal.
Not over candle light dinner but the dining table in his kitchen. Well now it's done and there is no turning back. His girlfriend’s voice broke his chain of thoughts when she presented the same question to her.
Smiling he looked up at her, still a bit nervous but just wanted to get it out. “ Yes I do, I love you alot and I mean it, even if it's not the best place and situation to confess this but it's a fact” he looked up at her face to see what she had to say.
Will she accept his feelings and reciprocate or will it just get overlooked?. “It's okay if… if you don't like me back I-'' before he could continue saying anything further her tiny palms were covering his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.
Her face expresses a broad range of emotions whether it be happiness, excitement, but the most prominent one adoration and respect for her lover.”
I love you too Yoongi, I love you too” with this a stream of tears flowed from her eyes. Yoongi was overjoyed and over the moon knowing that both of them were in the same place and mindset in their relationship.
From now on it was just moving forward and not looking back. Both of them scooted close to each looking forward to kiss each other but before yoongi could even do anything Y/n turned her face around and yoongi’s lips landed on her cheek making her release a huge laughter which erupted and echoed throughout the room.
“Yaah Y/n you better get back here and give me my kiss”Yoongi said with puckered lips. “Holly your appa finally said it he confessed to me” you said looking towards the dog you had been holding in your hand.
He started to bark, wagging his tail at you, definitely not understanding the words you said but felt the emotions you radiated through your facial expressions. Yoongi felt his heart at ease, pulse lowering down and a surge of easiness rising in him, this is all he wanted and now finally he has what he had dreamt of, a stable life, a loving partner right in front of his eyes.
“Psst Y/n” he called her trying to make eye contact. She stopped whatever she was busy with and looked at him and a tint covered her cheeks with a confident smile on her lips hearing the words “I love you” falling silently, inaudible but you could make out what he was saying.
You winked at him and muttered those same words ”I love you too”.
The doorbell at their apartment rang making yoongi fall back into reality. He quickly understood it must have been the delivery guy which came with his lunch.
He quickly took in the order and paid him his money. Yoongi had been ordering from the same restaurant you had been to. He even insisted for the same delivery guy knowing very well that he might get triggered if he saw anybody else.
He was in the most vulnerable stage of his health right now. Knew he had to do everything in a wise manner or else the situation would completely turn 180 degree.
He placed down the parcel on his table and started eating his food. He was in the middle of glancing through his media when a picture of you and all the boys popped up on his phone. There were a bunch of people standing around you guys, probably their fans and everyone was smiling at the camera.
His eyes were only focused on you looking at your smile and your jacket clad figure, but besides you a guy who was intently gazing at you and smiling just by looking at you unlike others who were looking at the camera.
Yoongi wasted no time to search for his profile and understood that it was your guys tour guide. He couldn't help the insecurity which was building up in his mind.
He always knew you had an outgoing personality and would befriend everyone around you and yoongi on the other hand was a completely opposite person. Would only talk to the group of few people he trusted and never intended to know any other people the only exclusion for work related meetings.
It's always a distraction to have too many people in your life he would say and firmly believed it too. The question of would you leave him for somebody else or would you find someone much better than him would constantly go through his mind and now with his condition it increased even more. Suddenly he received a call which broke his chain of thoughts.
The screen displayed the callers id: Kang Soowon. He instantly smiled looking at the call and picked up in hopes of clearing his mind by talking to her. It felt good to have someone around to talk to.
Few minutes had passed of him still talking on the phone, afew whispers and faint laughs could be heard from him. “Yes, even though I think I should let this all go, I could become a better person and have a better life I guess, thank you so much for helping me realize that Miss Soowon."
Hope I see you soon at the same place. Good night” he placed his phone down on the counter and was about to get up when a feminine voice came from behind him”Yoongi?” he instantaneously turned around to look at the source of a very familiar voice.
REQUESTED: #25 w/ yoongi - “why don’t you understand?”
it’s been sitting in the drafts for a while, but since school has started and work isn’t as hectic, i decided to post this before i forgot. i have one more request, it’s coming soon! send in more through my ask :)
WARNING: um idk i don’t think it’s that angsty but if you’re very emotional this can be kinda sad? yoongi!bf, heartbreak, mentions of cheating and sad stuff i guess
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
You stare at the message, wondering if there was something wrong. But you figured it was due to stress, so you ignored that feeling. Making Yoongi angry wasn’t something you planned to do.
You’d head to the restaurant and pick a few of his favourite things. Just to make sure he eats and sleep well at the studio. And then you’d head home. As much as yoongi hated being bothered, you knew you had to take care of his health. Sometimes, he doesn’t know his limits.
You spend time around the house watching television, checking social media and then taking a shower to get ready. you make sure to put a mask on your face before heading outside. No one would suspect you, everyone wore them in this cold weather.
But as you approach bighit’s company building, your cellphone seems to weigh heavy in your pocket. You push aside your thoughts, you were here to take care of your boyfriend and not annoy him.
You knock lightly on his studio door, the bag of food feeling heavy. You place your ear to the door, not hearing a thing. Maybe he’s sleeping? You think to yourself not before slowly opening the door.
What you see hurts your heart. Yoongi is sleeping on the couch cuddling a girl. You don’t even know her, or understand why she would be in his studio that close anyways. Maybe she replaced you.
You quietly place the food on a small table, being careful not to make a mess with his equipment everywhere. You spot a small piece of paper and pen. You write a small note to yoongi.
Hey, I noticed you fell asleep and I didn’t want to bother you and your friend. I got your favourites, make sure to warm them up. I wanted to make sure you’re eating well and sleeping well. I’m glad. Please don’t stress yourself, and take care of yourself yoongs. Because I won’t be able to do that anymore. I love you.
Y/N
in the midst of your shuffling, the noise caused yoongi to stir. You met his horrified gaze once he realized his position. He carefully tried to get up, but you gave him a sad smile.
Goodbye Min Yoongi.
You place the pen down onto the table and quietly closed the door. You walk to the elevator when you hear his footsteps. So you decide to take the emergency exit stairs 5 flights down.
You’re biting your lip, fighting your tears as you bolt down the stairs. Not bothering to be quiet, you pushed the exit door with all the energy you have and book it to your car. You lock the door, trying to breathe.
You rub your face with your hands, not caring if your makeup was ruined. The space between you and him get evidently smaller, and your lungs constrict. A panic attack.
You laugh bitterly. Getting all riled up because of a man. You promised yourself that you would never let a man affect you like this. But you never thought that man would be min yoongi.
Your hands shakily reach to press the START button to rev the engine. You see yoongi burst out the back door, frantically looking for you. He spots you crying in your car but before he can run to you, your car is leaving the parking lot. Leaving him behind.
You force yourself to turn up the radio to drown out his yelling. You refuse to be foolish. Perhaps you did have some dignity; call it pride. You had enough of people manipulating you, using you as if you were there for pure convenience.
But deep inside you knew, you would let min yoongi hurt you again anyways.
“Fuck.” Yoongi curses as he makes his way back into the building and walking into his studio. By the time he opens the door, he sees that the girl is gone, just like you. He decides to open the bag of food you got him, refusing to let your hard work go to waste. Even if he did lose you.
Your note is like a warning sign for him. But he reads it. And his heart crumbles in pain. Suddenly, the thought of eating food didn’t seem appealing anymore. He falls back onto the couch crumpling the piece of paper in his hands. And for the first time in a long time, he cries.
He lets out harsh sobs as he blindly reaches for his cellphone. He reads the texts you sent him and his grip tightens.
He wants to call you, and tell you it was a misunderstanding. He wants you back. That he needs you and loves you.
But one of his downfalls is confrontation. So he doesn’t. He leaves you alone. Leaving him to swallow his pain by working on his new track and drinking liquors til he passes out.
He doesn’t remember how long he’s been in the studio. But his body can feel it. So when somebody opens the door, he winces at the intrusion of light.
“oppa! You need to leave the studio, it reeks. Gah! Did something die in here?”
He merely turns to face another of the producers. She’s scrunching her nose at the sight of him.
He turns back to his computer, adding a few touches here and there. He hears her sigh and the door closes.
Within minutes, she comes back with namjoon, seokjin and a bottle of febreze. He gives her a confused look as Namjoon and Seokjin practically manhandle him out of the studio.
“Oh my Lord this is fucking nasty, get him out.” She says with a pained look as she sprays the whole studio.
“Hey! My equipment! I haven’t finished the track! Let me back-“ he yells as she slams the door in his face.
It’s quiet. He knows what he looks like. A pathetic mess.
“Yoongi-ssi.” Seokjin calls him, but he doesn’t meet the elder’s gaze.
“Hyung, what happened? You never work yourself this hard. You should go home.” Namjoon softly suggests as he shakes his head.
“Home? The studio is my home. Not like I can go back to the dorms.”
“What do you mean the studio is your home? What about y/n?” Seokjin inquires and at the sound of your name, he loses it.
“I cannot go back to her. I lost her hyung, don’t you get it? She fucking hates me because I broke her heart.”
“What exactly did you do wrong?” Seokjin softly asks as yoongi felt his heart constrict.
“She brought me food a few days ago. I was working on the new track. I fell asleep on the couch.”
“She got mad at you because you were sleeping?” Namjoon says confused meeting seokjin’s look.
“Yeah, she found me sleeping on the couch… with another girl.”
There was a dead silence in the room, but all Yoongi could hear was his own heart beat pounding.
“Who is the girl, Min Yoongi?” Seokjin has a subtle glint of anger in his voice as he muttered
“intern. She was bringing me coffee and we were talking about stuff and she told me to take a break. So I lied on the couch but in my sleepy mode I pulled her onto me.”
“Well she’s fired.” Namjoon sighs to himself, rolling his shoulders back to alleviate the back pain.
“She shouldn’t be engaging in things like that with coworkers let alone idols. But the question is; why did you let her?”
Maybe because I was missing you. So I could take love from anyone who offered. So why couldn’t I take it from you?
“I-i don’t know. But I have to fix it.”
“She just slept on top you, right? You didn’t sleep with her… right?”
Namjoon looks afraid to ask, probably because he was the closest friend you had in bight aside from the maknae line.
“I didn’t… but I almost.” Yoongi whispers as he hear seokjin mutter curses under his breath.
“Well I don’t know what to tell you Min Yoongi. You lost the best thing in your life because of your carelessness. Your inability to accept people into your life. So why are you upset when you keep pushing her away? You need to set fucking boundaries when entering and being in a relationship. So you either chuck your pride and make it up to Y/N or you fuck off and leave her alone. Either way you still need to apologize to her.”
Yoongi bites his inner cheek as he processes the information. He had to apologize to you, but how? Surely it’s too late, a week has already passed.
Namjoon softly nudges yoongi which shakes him out of his reverie.
“It’s better late than never, hyung. Go to her.”
For the first time in a long time, yoongi left the studio and left the building.
It’s been a week since you’ve seen Yoongi. You just assumed that things were over, since he hasn’t made an effort to contact you. His silence and lack of response just shows you that she means a lot to him.
You sigh looking at the empty tub of coffee flavoured ice-cream. Maybe you’ve sulked for a bit now, but it’s time to stop. There were things to be done, eventually.
There’s a knock on your door. You furrow your brows in confusion. You weren’t expecting anyone, did you order something online?
You open the door without looking at who it was. It was yoongi, drenched, looking like he came back from the dead a week later.
“Yoongi? What are you doing here?” You say with arms crossed. You could let him inside, but part of you wants him to suffer. Also, if you were to let him inside, you would be vulnerable. And knowing your emotional state, you wouldn’t be rational and probably just take him back without batting an eye.
“I’m so fucking late and I’m sorry. I- I just need to talk to you, please Y/N. I-“
fine. I should probably let him in before Mrs. Kim 5 doors down starts to become nosy.
“Whatever, just don’t make the floor too wet.” You say opening the door wider, watching him carefully place his shoes and hanging his coat.
He follows you to the bedroom and you give him a towel to dry up in the bathroom. While he does that, you pull a pair of his clothes that he left behind and give it to him. He smiles back in gratitude but it turns out to be a grimace.
You go to the kitchen to make some tea. As you’re pouring the tea in the two mugs, you spot yoongi walk out with bare fare and a towel on his shoulders. Your heart beats at the sight of him, so maybe you’re not healing as fast as you wanted.
He sits at the chairs you’ve planted near the countertop. You both quietly drink, allowing the background noise of rain to fill the room.
After a while, he speaks.
“I don’t know how many times I will apologize to express myself, but I know none of them will make things better. You might not even forgive me, and that’s something I have to live with.”
You decide to look at anywhere but him. Maybe if you saw the emotion in his eyes, it would become more surreal.
“- but I can’t ask to be back in your life regardless if I don’t give you an explanation. And I know I don’t deserve to be in your life after this. Not as a boyfriend or even a friend.
But basically i was distancing myself from you, because I was stressed, I didn’t want it to affect our relationship but-“
He lets out a bitter laugh, looking into his cup.
“-Turns out I did more than that, didn’t I? And what you saw was basically this intern I’ve been teaching her the ropes at bight. She told me to take a break, since I was working for too long. So when I lied on the couch, I reached out for her hand and she fell on top of me.
I don’t know why I did that. Maybe because she reminded me of you. That I enjoyed someone taking care of me no matter who it was. But that was it, I didn’t sleep with her. But, I mean I could have. I don’t know what I was thinking.
But I understand why that would make you feel betrayed. I’m so sorry Y/N… I pushed you away when you were trying to just offer me your heart.”
“Yoongi.” You call out as he wipes his tears with the back of his hand.
“You really broke my heart. Not just seeing you with her but the fact that you went to anyone but me.”
“But I’m here! I’m saying sorry and that I still love you. Why don’t you understand?”
“What do you mean I don’t understand? I did more than understand, I never bothered or smothered you. I gave you space. I allowed you to be by yourself and a space to talk things through. If anything, you don’t understand. You don’t value our relationship or me, min yoongi. Who goes to say later you won’t do something worse?”
Yoongi looks helpless, but you avert your gaze. You walk to put your glass in the sink. And when you turn around, he’s on the floor. Kneeling at your feet. On reflex, you bend down to his level offering a hand.
“You don’t need to kneel, yoongi. Save yourself the embarrassment. Get up.”
He shook his head, frame trembling with each word he spoke. “I can’t lose you, i refuse to let you go. I know you won’t forgive me, because of all the shit i’ve done but please don’t leave me. I can’t, you can’t make me please.”
You stare at his pathetic frame for a while, memorizing his features. sure, he didn’t sleep with her. but not to say it wasn’t his fault. who am i to be angry with her when he pulled her on top? but do all people deserve second chances? won’t i be regarded as weak and naive?
“I can’t make you leave. I can’t make you stop loving me. But I can protect my heart, which is something you failed to do. I’m sorry, Min Yoongi. I would say to give me time, but i don’t know how long that will be. And you’re a busy man, with a life filled with success you won’t have time for me.”
Yoongi looks at you with bloodshot eyes and nods. He turns to leave as you follow him to the door shakily. Before he steps outside, he turns to face you. His lip starts to quiver, and your heart breaks.
“can i ask a favour from you? just one more time?” he meekly asks as you nod.
he slowly reaches for your arms, and you let him touch you. you want to feel his embrace, but it feels different this time. and when he gets closer, you close the gap. a farewell kiss.
and ever since that shared moment, you don’t see min yoongi ever again.
You hadn’t seen Yoongi in over a week and you were beginning to worry. He didn’t want you, he made that very clear, but he should’ve been back by now to at least get his things. You even half expected him to come back and yell at you some more. But you didn’t expect an apology, you knew better.
You let yourself into your apartment, setting the groceries you picked up while you were out on the counter. Your phone alerts you of a message and you dig through one of the bags to find it. The message was from Namjoon.
Joon: “Y/N, sorry to bother you but Yoongi hasn’t left his studio for days. I can’t even get him to answer me through the door. We have a lot of work to finish before we leave next week and I really need him. Can you come to the dorms and figure out what’s going on?”
You were sure you’re the last person Yoongi wants to see right now and Yoongi locks himself in his studio often. You didn’t see the point in going to the dorms to start an argument in front of his members, but you decided to humor Namjoon. Little did you know that fifteen minutes later you would be witnessing the man you love fall apart completely.
You had arrived at the dorm to find six worried boys looking to you for answers. You quickly made the boys aware of your break up, but they continued to push you towards the door anyways. When you finally agreed, they each left to give you some privacy. You knocked softly on Yoongi’s studio door, unable to utter a single word. After waiting for several minutes, you try the door and are surprised to find that it’s unlocked. Idiots. You cautiously walk through the second door and into the studio and your heart shatters as you see the mess. His computers are smashed, his keyboard and couch overturned. Your eyes scan the room and land on the man sobbing in the corner. The soundproof walls of the studio seemed to block out his wailing, but now you heart wrenches in your chest as his cries reach your ears.
His eyes meet yours as he lets out a groan. He shakily stands and turns towards you, unable to read the expression on your face.
“What are you doing here?” He asks, his voice quivering.
“I…Namjoon called. Yoongs?...” You whispered the last part.
“Oh God, don’t do that to me” his voice begins to raise. “Don’t fucking call me that. You can’t do that..”
“Okay” your voice cracks. You heart breaks more as he kicks the couch already turned on its side. He screams, covering his hands in his face. You stand frozen as you witness him losing his sanity.
He clings to his only grasp of reality, “We’re done. Is that what you wanted to hear? We’re fucking done. Why’d you come back?”
You lie, “Because the boys called. They wanted to see if you were alright. I was just trying to help them out.” You didn’t dare tell him that you wanted to see him.
“Well as you can see I’m not alright. Shit, I can’t remember the last time I was. Just get out, yea?” He then slides to the floor, his back pressed against the wall and his hands covering his face. His long thin fingers begin to massage his temples, the movement bringing back memories of the same fingers shifting along the keys on the piano and trailing along your jaw.
You close your eyes and take a deep breathe to draw you from your thoughts. You then begin to pick up the papers and various items that scatter the floor of the studio, stacking them on the desk as you go. When you look up, you are met with his curious stare as he remains sitting across the room.
“Why?” He asks. You don’t answer at first and he asks again. “Why Y/N?
“I don’t know, Yoongi.” You reply tiredly. You honestly didn’t know why you were still there, cleaning his mess.
“You’re too good. That’s fucking why.” He mutters. You aren’t sure that you heard him correctly.
“What?” You ask.
“You fucking heard me. You’re too good. You’re too good for me. I’ve spent the last week trying to figure out why you were with me. Is it for the money? No, you have enough of that on your own. It’s not for attention, you never seek attention. So what? Why would someone like you be with someone like me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you pity me? No, that’s not it.”
You’re speechless as Yoongi continues his monologue.
“I’ve been looking for reasons to hate you and I can’t find any. You’re too damn good for me. I hate myself for letting you go and hurting you but I had to do it. I had to hurt you before you had the chance to hurt me. You’re so fucking good. You’d be okay without me, but baby I’m falling apart without you and I just can’t get it out of my head that you deserve better. I thought I could push you away and you’d realize that on your own. Baby, you’ve got to realize that I’m no good for you. You’ve got to learn the lesson and move on.”
“No.” You state, surprising even yourself. Yoongi pushed you away out of fear and self-consciousness. He thought he was doing you a favor by tearing himself apart, but he was the only thing keeping you grounded. He was the one who brought out the good in you. He thought that by fucking himself over he was doing you a favor but seeing him like that only made you fall apart. You walk to where he is and sit down next to him, your head leaning on his shoulder.
“Baby, get out of here. You can go and-“
“No.” You say again. “I’m not going anywhere. There is nothing you can do to get rid of me. We’re in this together. You’re the only reason I have to be a good person. Hurting you would be hurting myself. I could never hurt you, Yoongs.”
“Really?” He asks as the storm of his breakdown begins to pass.
“Really. So don’t ever pull this shit again.” You say kissing his cheek.
Yoongi laughs and it’s music to your ears as he whispers, “Lesson learned.”
