*zoom call begins*
Professor: Hello everyone! How have you all been doing?
Me:
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from Georgia
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Singapore
seen from Pakistan

seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands

seen from Guatemala
seen from Lithuania
seen from Italy

seen from Germany
*zoom call begins*
Professor: Hello everyone! How have you all been doing?
Me:
I made zoom profile pictures for when people just won’t respect your damn pronouns
Here’s a blank template for all your multiple sets of pronouns and your neopronouns
And here’s one for when you’re too salty to use one of the others
Here’s one for all the cryptids out there
And lastly, for anyone who might happen to use the same pronouns as I, here’s the one I made for myself-
Ugh, it looks like I need to get another set of curtains... doing my zoom class this morning and I am too pale. 👻 I just looked like a blob of reflected light. I bet this is why pasty vampires avoid going out during the day... they don't sparkle, they frigging blind everyone around them
Today in virtual choir adventures:
Me: Go back to the computer, it’s time for choir!
Pip: I can’t go to choir! I don’t have pants!
Me: Why aren’t you... just put on some pants.
Pip: I don’t have any! All my pants are dirty.
*I go into his room and open a dresser drawer full of clean pants.
Pip: Oh. Okay!
*Runs to the computer, pants in hand, and turns on the computer camera.
Me: Put them on first!
Pip: I can’t! There’s no time! Mr. [choir director] is waiting!
Me: It’s really okay. Put on your pants.
*Pip slowly sinks to the floor while maintaining eye contact with the screen.
Oh god oh fuck I didn’t realize I was unmuted and I was listening to a song with some, um... naughty words, if you will, and now I’m gonna have to set everything on fire
What going to college is like in 2020. Idk wtf I’m doing.
Me, faced with a very real problem: :(
Me, kicked off the zoom for the fourth time due to technical difficulties:
When virtual therapy is going badly and my therapist can't get a clue