shrubs

THWART me, perry the platypus 24, she/her/(they? who’s to say really)

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[kitkat-the-muffin]

hi Bookblr plz think I’m funny

[tabloidsores]

Does anyone have the fucking post where it's a screenshot of someone googling john wick scenes but it's like "his focking name is beb yegah - jam wick scene" I feel like I'm being gaslit by tumblr search

[tabloidsores]

Fucking. Found it

[dogpuppy]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

is high jump kicking peoples dogs punk

[lord-of-the-noodles]

no, to punk is to love

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I love to high jump kick peoples dogs

[drlombriz]

won’t a high jump kick miss most dogs? they’re usually kinda low to the ground

[contemptible-scoundrel]

whats not clicking

[graffitinight]

When you try to talk about enshittification, it sounds like conspiracy theories. (I'm not crazy)

Amazon made their service worse, to force people to pay for Prime.

Nowadays, if you order from Amazon, there is a week long delay before your package is shipped. (on purpose)

I remember when orders would ship out the same day. (I remember - it was real)

YouTube didn't used to have ads. Now, ads play in the middle of videos. (it's worse than TV ever was)

The best can opener I have owned is over 40 years old. Modern ones just don't hold up as well. (The ones I bought new broke ages ago)

The bread machine my mom got for her wedding lasted 30 years. It's been replaced twice in the last 5 years. (How can you fuck this up?)

The cardboard tubes in the middle of toilet paper rolls have gotten larger. (This too?) Companies increasing the price of the product while selling you less. (REALLY?)

It sounds crazy. (it's the truth) When you talk about it, YOU sound crazy. (it's true)

Even when people believe you (do they really), all they can say is "it sucks". (it's too big) Because the problem is so big, so pervasive, what can we even DO about it???

To get the necessary laws written and passed, we need politicians, to get the politicians elected we need information campaigns, to fund campaigns we need money, and all the money is being hoarded by the people profiting from enshittification. (it sounds so fake)

So I talk about enshittification (it sounds crazy), so people don't forget that things have been made worse on purpose (it's true), even though I sound crazy. (maybe I am)

[grimboigio]

It's called planned obsolescence and it was invented when lightbulbs could still run for 1000 years. Enshittification is the web-specific (and more specifically social media) version of that.

[thenwearedecided]

fuckkkk my sacrificial lamb has started hanging out with the scapegoat

[raraeavesmoriendi]

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

[actualtree]

ITS ONLY JULY FIRST

[coolsadtrash]

[teaboot]

I hate it when I have a problem and the answer really *is* "fix your sleep schedule, do some exercise, leave the house, and drink water" like fuck offffff I don't wanna

[teaboot]

leave the house for the first time in three days against my own desires and feel like both the soaking wet cat covered in flea medication and the owner struggling in the tub with it

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

[headspace-hotel]

"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe

[blasesaint]

[carbon-ate]

[transjester64]

Adding this from the comments...

[bgm05]

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[lateknightradio]

[huebris808]

my evil yuri. my evil yuri that fucking sucks

[huebris808]