(source: The Tennessean, August 9, 1925.)
1) i love how they said “not just” implying that Florida man being from Florida was ONE of the reasons he was arrested but not the sole reason
2) i can’t believe florida man meme is like nearly 100 years old

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(source: The Tennessean, August 9, 1925.)
1) i love how they said “not just” implying that Florida man being from Florida was ONE of the reasons he was arrested but not the sole reason
2) i can’t believe florida man meme is like nearly 100 years old
today is video games’s birthday.
Happy birthday videogames
None Pizza with Left Beef is 10 years old today.
happy birthday to a decade-old meme.
happy 12th birthday none pizza with left beef
Happy 13th birthday none pizza with left beef
Happy 14th Birthday none pizza with left beef
Happy 15th birthday!
My dad and I were in this one band in 2015 and 2016. It had a real name but we called it 'The Don Band' because of our band's leader, a man who didn't know how to run a band. We have stories for days! If you can believe it, he inspired an antagonist character in a music story I'm writing. Side note: I'm sorry, that was really mean. But it's kinda true. The guy went through trumpet players like most people go through glasses of water.
Don hardly ever handed out new music. However, it was all new to me since I was but a wee lamb with hardly an ounce of practical life experience. Despite my dad's love of the swing era classics, I hadn't yet heard most of the songs in the band's repertoire. Side note: it took me a solid 2 minutes to type in various phonetic spellings of repertoire into Google for it to finally come up with the word I was looking for.
Stolen Moments appeared on my music stand at rehearsal one night. I remember hearing my dad making noises of disgust at having to play this. Maybe I imagined this; it in unclear at the present moment. Why are the moments unremembered? One could argue they were... stolen even. The original song is already slow enough but we played it at this unGODLY slow tempo. I think my section got yelled at a lot for rushing the soli section??
On every car ride home, Dad and I would bitch about every possible thing we hated about that evening's rehearsal. I don't think we were even out of the parking lot before my dad starts in with, "Stolen Moments!!! Stolen Moments, really Don? Ugh, this is the worst. Moments? More like minutes and hours stolen from my life by practicing this song. Stolen moments? More like stoned moments!" From then on, everyone in the band (except Don) called the song Stoned Moments.
Now that you have some context, you can better understand my new tag: Stolen Moments. Basically, if stolen = stoned, then stoned = ?? (Go ahead; guess!)
"[John Wayne] didn't really get famous until he was a middle-aged, surly motherf*cker... That's part of why he remains so popular with dads and grandpas, ... he was this old guy who would beat your ass, which they all want to believe they are. ... You always [get] a movie every couple of years with a 60-year-old man who beats the shit out of a bunch of 20-year-olds. Clint Eastwood used to do these. John Wayne was the motherf*cking Jesus Christ of that, and all middle-aged actors who beat up 20-year-olds are his apostles...
"He had a very long career and it was primarily cowboy movies that made him famous. As Charles Silver - of the museum of modern art - observed, 'Wayne made westerns for twice as long as it took to fight the Indian wars. He made westerns for about as long as it actually took to settle the continent west of the Missouri.'
"[Wayne] is part of why this western period is so central to the American idea, particularly the right-wing idea of how this country was 'founded'. It's because he was in movies romanticizing that period for longer than it was ever real."
-Robert Evans, Behind the Bastards
It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’
So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?
loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance
✨ I just had this horrible idea for a dystopian novel ✨
Instead of paying people livable wages, the government launched a series of programs attempting to cut down on the number of homeless people. We all love it when people have places to live, right? Yeah! Which is why so many people got brainwashed into believing that preventing homelessness is better than actually assisting the currently homeless.
One of the new policies was to stop citizens from becoming "starving artists". The government drastically cut down the number of self-employed, freelance, and art-type jobs from existence. Jobs where the work is sparse, competition is fierce, and the market is extremely volatile: music, art, content creators and freelance jobs were at the top of the list, along with various jobs that don't earn W2's. These included actor, filmmaker, musician, painter, photographer, author, consultant, dancer, as well as several more professions, which (for the sake of simplicity) I will condense into one job: the artist. If you were paid above a certain threshold then you were deemed important enough to continue to create content, considered to be "essential".
Because the government had reduced the number of available jobs, this only further strengthened the "starving artist" stereotype. People could still do these things for fun, they just wouldn't be paid. Neither paying tips nor giving donations were allowed (or aloud... get it? Because buskers are often musicians? Sorry not sorry). Everyone employed as an artist had to find entirely new jobs or do things as hobbyists, not professionals. For me in my own personal bubble as a hobbyist, I'd be out around 600 bucks per year. That's less than my paycheck every two weeks for my full-time office job.
But then the government felt bad for making the homelessness problem worse. So they said people could do artist work for money ONLY IF they were also full-time or part-time employed in another non-artist profession.
To quote Hagrid, I should not have said that
Dad and I randomly listening to the recroding I took of tonight's show. My tenor solo comes up.
Hee hee. I forgot I played the licc.
Crossfaded right now. Literally this morning I changed my background image for the first time in like forever. ThIs MoRnInG. To a selfie of me and bae. And what does this mofo do? Ugh. Nope. My background is now the muse of chorale song and dance, as it rightfully should be!
Dumbass McSt0ned over here did the math: after subtracting the cost of buying a new instrument, I will have made approximately $1.17 per hour on this musical.
But ya know what...
It was worth it 😎
🥵
Oakland Tribune, California, April 23, 1922
Probs gonna get kicked out of my D&D group for being a backstabbing hoe. I mean in real life not in the campaign.
Hey I know that the ides of march isn't for another 11 months, but I have a good one. Wanna hear it?
Crimes New Roman
Cool joke!
I'm glad you felt inspired by the punchline! Have a happy ides!
"Take a major third up an octave and it's no longer a major third; it's a major 10th."
Bro, it's a fuckin' third. I know the rule but like, IT'S A FUCKING THIRD.