me gay too

---Side Blog--- I'm back y'all he/they tags: that queer being, 1446posts

[genderoutlaws]

is it possible to be transsexual (with a very literal interpretation of the word) but not transgender? like if a cis woman wanted to have a penis but didn't want to be a guy?

i mean slay honestly

[catgirlforeskin]

it’s not just possible, it’s recommended, start slaying absolute penis girl

[gay-irl]

[sherlock-is-ace]

“It’s an easy mistake to make. He’s effeminate and therefore we think he’s weak, but that man sits in pubs and clubs and houses and hotels, telling all the world about his homosexuality out loud, all day long. It doesn’t matter who’s listening - priests or housewives or landlords or anyone. He tells the truth and he doesn’t care. No-one else does that.”

- A Very English Scandal

[mueritos]

hey, to the trans college student-to-be: here’s some info from someone who was in that position and is now thriving !!

1) depending on ur school, you can probably change ur name in the database for classes. The more queer a campus, the more likely you can do this. Your freshman year, classes are probably HUGE, so you won’t stand out to professors and they’ll only grade participation based on like, polleverywhere.

2) look for queer clubs!! There should be a directory in your college of choice. They might also have a resource center for LGBT+ kids. The one at my school is called the Q Center. The resource center is great because not only will they give you resources, they can also advocate for you.

3) if you haven’t decided on a college already, research research research!!! Take the colleges you’re interested in and like, google their campus pride index and campus activism. If you’re not sure what college you want, but you want one you feel safe in, search for like “best colleges for trans/gay/queer people” maybe adding your state or the area of the country you want to stay and sift through sources until you feel you find something reliable.

4) depending on the college you go to, you may be able to access HRT and gender affirming care through the campus health system. Where I live atm, my college does this. If your college doesn’t, try looking for one near a planned parenthood or a similar clinic !!

5) if you end up going to a college and feeling unsafe there, there is NO shame in transferring, dropping out, or even staying in the closet. Your safety and comfort come first.

6) queer friendly colleges might also have housing systems that are queer friendly!! For instance my university has a “gender neutral” housing option that pretty much guarantees a queer roommate.

I hope this helps!!

Thank you for all this additional info!! I hope the trans college anon sees it ^-^

[mueritos]

Do you have any college advice for someone starting next week who is trans (FtM) and technically pre-transition (and is very obviously queer and gnc)?

Oh phew. This is rough because I started university in the exact same position. I was pre-transition and visibly queer/GNC. I'll insert a read more

The best thing I can say is 1. make sure you dont make the same mistake that I did and go to a PWI (predominantly white institution). That's difficult to avoid, however, but the kind of white people who r at your school could make or break your experience. I unfortunately go to a PWI full of rich adidas/nike/hollister white kids who have never spoken to a BIPOC/Queer person in their life. But, there r plently of awesome white students who r from Philly or BIPOC communities, and they know exactly how to be good people.

If you unfortunately ARE going to a Uni thats the worst kind of PWI, I'm sorry, and I hope that your experience is much better than mine. The next best thing I can say is find queer people who are like you, and who have similar morals. I've encountered many a queer students who turn out to be flat out ignorant about other BIPOC/Queer issues, and I hope you do not encounter them. Run to your schools Diversity/LGBTQ association as fast as possible. I mean it, make connections and introduce yourself to the people working in the office and get to know the club members and presidents if theyre there. Most colleges have a club fair of sorts the first month of school; dont miss it, you'll likely find other clubs that the cool people migrate too, things like D&D or Tabletop clubs, sewing/crafts, etc. The Diversity/LGBTQ office will provide you community, resources, and just a place to be. Becoming involved earlier gives you a sense of security and a place at ur uni if you dont feel it elsewhere, but DO NOT. And I really mean it, DO NOT invest yourself in trying to "fix" your college. If there are institutional issues, you can tell people about them, but dont ever let them make you fix it for them. I have been taken advantage of time and time again, and it has put my entire personal safety on the line to improve the racist and putrid environment at my school. Save that energy for yourself, your friends, and your community on campus.

Lastly, I would say be as unapologetic as you can, but I cant hide that Ive had days where I've dressed down, avoided eye contact, walked with my head down around campus because I was anxious and terrified. Other days are much easier. Your safety and well being are much more important, but I do hope you never have to find a place in yourself to put on a brave face every time you step onto campus. Medically transitioning in public was also extremely stressful for me (its already stressful in general), but if you intend to medically transition while in school, be kind to yourself, because I often wasn't.

I'm not trying to scare you, but I do want to prepare you in case things go toward a more stressful end. You're going to have a great time in college experiencing independence and freedom, and you're going to grow so much :) I just hope you grow from the good and not the bad. Best of luck my friend, and if you ever need me, my pms are open :)

[qunari]

I'll never forget my first pride.

I can't remember my actual age, but it was in the range of 10 to 13 I think. my parents had dragged me to a Pride festival, and walked across the street from the main event, across where the lines were drawn, to where a sea of people in red shirts that read "god has a better way" tried to drown out the celebration with speakers blasting christian music, and shouting and loud praying.

the leaders pulled all us kids to the side and gave us the spiel. they told us how the rainbow had been stolen from us, and that these people were tricked by the devil and just needed prayer, but that if we didn't save them, they were going to hell.

I rolled my eyes because I already didn't believe in god, and although I barely knew what being gay was, I knew my parents were usually on the Wrong side of things, and I shouldn't be siding with them.

"We aren't allowed over there if we're wearing the red shirts," the leaders told us, "so we're sending people over in secret without them so you can pass out tracts and pray for people. they won't talk to us, but they'll talk to the kids. does anyone want to volunteer?"

the people in red shirts disgusted me. the people on the other side of the line were cheering and having fun. I raised my hand.

we were supposed to go in groups with young adults, to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to be. I wandered off the minute I could and stood nervously at the edge of a crowd, watching on as people went by, happy and unbothered by the protests across the street. I felt a little pride myself in tricking the protestors into giving up a witness spot to me, when I was going to smile on and think profanities at god instead.

there was an older woman standing outside the crowd too. she asked if I was here with anyone, a girlfriend maybe? I said no, my parents were across the street. she nodded, and said she was here with her kid. a daughter, that she came to support, but couldn't keep up with in the crowd.

I almost cried. I told her how amazing that was, because I couldn't imagine my mother showing support like that to me over anything, much less something as serious as Being Gay. I imagined if I was gay, and at a pride event just like now, but this time because I Belong.

I knew automatically that my mother, without a doubt, would still be in the same place, across the street.

I got hungry after a bit, and tried to find a good food truck. I had a little money and I was unused to being on my own like this, but I didn't want to go back to the Other Side. I knew now without a shadow of a doubt, this was the Good side and that was the Bad side.

as I was eating the gyro I got, there was a stream of red shirted protestors trickling through; I had reached the end of the boundaries, and the protestors were allowed in here. I backed up a little, spotting my dad among them. I didn't want him to tell me to go back.

there was a line of women closing ranks around the Pride attendees, separating them from the protesters as they walked through. they spread their arms out and told every person the protesters spoke to that they were not obligated to respond, they could walk away and not engage.

my dad spotted me back, and made a beeline over. he couldn't cross over because a butch lesbian stood between us. I didn't know what those words meant, but I never forgot the buttons she was wearing.

he tried to tell me that it was time to go. "you're not obligated to speak to him," the butch said, cutting him off and edging further between us. I smiled at her, a little in wonderment. no one had ever told me that I didn't have to speak to my parents, or do anything other than blindly obey them. I watched my dad get held behind a line by a woman half his height, with no intention on letting him get to me, and I smiled and walked away.

I didn't have a clue who I was then, and I wouldn't for a good few years to come. but I never forgot the supportive mother, who symbolized to me everything a mother should be, that mine, for all her religious self righteousness, would never hold a candle to. I never forgot that she was the person I wanted to be, and my mother was the person I did not want to be.

I never forgot the butch who stood between me and my dad, and for the first time ever, put the idea in my head that I was ALLOWED to make my own choices in my beliefs, and made me feel protected in a way I hadn't known I needed.

the image of her standing between me and my dad, being a physical barrier to protect me against any potential threat, that inspired the image of who I admired and wanted to become. it inspired the version of me who could stand up to my dad - to the point that I could hold my ground and educate him enough that over a decade later, he walked side by side with me at a pride festival, with no intent of witnessing to or condemning anybody.

pride month may be over, but the impact this month and these events can have is so damn important. I became who I am because of two people I met at a pride festival. I'll never forget.

[mareep-is-transfem]

how many times do we have to say "you will never ever be able to tell with 100% certainty who is and isn't trans in any given group of people unless they all individually want to tell you and policy based around the assumption that you can will fail terribly" before cis people start taking it seriously. just wondering

[mareep-is-transfem]

all of the following are true:

1. some trans people can and do pass very well

2. some trans people cannot or do not want to pass at all

3. pre-transition trans people who look like their AGAB exist

4. intersex people who do and don't identify as trans both exist

5. pronouns aren't an indication of gender

6. presentation isn't an indication of gender

7. gender nonconforming cis and trans people exist

8. sometimes someone's gender literally just isn't any of your business

all of these things make it impossible to definitively, 100%, with absolute certainty, tell someone's gender without them being okay with telling you.

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

9. A lot of cis women who don’t fit into western beauty standards are often mistaken for trans women by white transphobes just by having body hair or facial hair or angular faces, doubly so for Jewish women and women of color

[death-mogai]

intersex bodies are just as natural and regular as perisex bodies, the only difference is that perisex bodies are more common. being intersex is not a birth defect in the same way being a perisex woman is not a birth defect. nothing broke, nothing is "wrong" with us, we are just less common.

being a perisex woman or a perisex man isn't a medical condition and neither is being intersex. when our intersex conditions cause other health complications it is not because we are intersex, it is because of a medical condition associated with being intersex.

a person with a uterus who has endometriosis isn't experiencing a symptom of having a uterus they are experiencing endometriosis.

intersex bodies are heavily medicalized. they are treated as problems that need to be solved, but being intersex isn't a medical condition. we don't need to be diagnosed and forced through "treatment" to make us as close to perisex as possible, we need support, awareness, and acceptance.

tldr; intersex bodies are just as natural as perisex bodies. intersex existence needs to stop being medicalized

[demilypyro]

I think the biggest danger to the LGBT movement is the idea that it's... new. Because new ideas are easy to reject. You don't have to engage with something if it's a new idea, because it'll probably go away eventually. But LGBT people aren't new, we've been around for decades, centuries, in all cultures on earth. That history just keeps getting hidden and erased, swept under the carpet so people don't have to take it seriously.

Imagine how fewer people would be transphobic if it didn't feel to them like a new, topical idea. If it felt like the old idea that it is, if they were aware that people have been trans and have been transitioning for longer than anyone has been alive to see. They'd have to accept it as simply another part of their world. Not a weird, new idea, but common sense.

Anyway, happy pride.

[demilypyro]

No go on, give us everything, these are good, important, google-able things to know about

[amras-felagund]

I feel I should add Albert Cashier to the conversation. He was a trans man who was in the Union Army during the American Civil War, dying in 1915. It took his executor nine years to track the trail back to Cashier’s deadname. Apparently he identified as such even before joining the Union Army and maintained such for 53 years.

And I’m sure that he was not the first trans man to sign up to fight in an American war.

[antimasculist]

as a girl whos a gross dude i looove men who are fancy ladies. we are best friends

[oh-its-suds]

I did not process a single bit of that ngl

[antimasculist]

nobody asked. sorry you dont understand me and my friends 3d chess genders

[cube-cumb3r]

gender envy and calling ppl gender was like just a quirky little injoke between trans zoomers on the internet it was never meant to be this super serious clinical term or trans exclusive experience… “dont call ppl gender if ur cis” do whatever u want its not even a real thing oh my fucking god

[cube-cumb3r]

regardless how can “wow im envious of their specific gender presentation and how theyre perceived by others gender wise” possibly be a trans exclusive experience. ? answer quickly

[wetwareproblem]

I’ll go one further: Can we normalize cis people making ‘that’s my gender’ jokes? Maybe if they learn to take it a little less fucking seriously they’ll start to recognize how ridiculous it is to try to codify every human experience into a gender binary.

[spritegende-deactivated20250212]

cis people defining their gender for themselves is actually something i seriously encourage. like,,, go on, friend, you don’t have to be trans to enjoy your gender the way that we enjoy ours. deconstructing shitty systems starts by hitting at the base of the tower.

[prehistoricmancunt]

The Gay Manifesto, Carl Wittman, 1969

[ID: "4. Gay 'stereotypes': The straights' image of the gay world is defined largely by those of us who have violated straight roles. There is a tendency among 'homophile' groups to deplore gays who play visible roles - the queens and the nellies. As liberated gays, we much take a clear stand. 1. Gays who stand out have become our first martyrs. They came out and withstood disapproval before the rest of us did. 2. If they have suffered from being open, it is straight society whom we much indict, not the queen." /]

[prehistoricmancunt]

The Gay Manifesto, Carl Wittman, 1969

[ID: "4. Gay 'stereotypes': The straights' image of the gay world is defined largely by those of us who have violated straight roles. There is a tendency among 'homophile' groups to deplore gays who play visible roles - the queens and the nellies. As liberated gays, we much take a clear stand. 1. Gays who stand out have become our first martyrs. They came out and withstood disapproval before the rest of us did. 2. If they have suffered from being open, it is straight society whom we much indict, not the queen." /]

[a-trans-comic-by-me]

“Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep” – Mary Elizabeth Frye

Happy Pride 2019!

[headspace-hotel]

Holy SHIT

There are tears in my eyes, this is such an awesome and clever interpretation of a beautiful poem

[frayedcobweb]

Yep. Actually crying. This is stunning.

[bananonbinary]

literally we need to get rid of the stigma of questioning once and for all.

call yourself gay. call yourself ace. call yourself a lesbian today and a nonbinary bi trans man tomorrow. its fine. literally no community has ever been harmed by someone thinking that label might apply to them and then discarding it later. anyone who says otherwise is drinking the exclusionary kool-aid and isn’t worth the time it would take to argue with them.

[audacityinblack]

also: it’s okay to identify as cis after having spent time identifying as trans. you weren’t “wrong” or “brainwashed” for identifying as trans, and you aren’t “betraying” or “infiltrating” if you feel better identifying as cis. feelings change. minds change. you don’t owe anyone your identity and you don’t have to stay in a place where you aren’t happy or comfortable. i refuse to use the word “detransition” because discovering the self you love, while not always a linear process, is an ongoing one

[andreii-tarkovsky]

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

Dir. Beeban Kidron

[brehaaorgana]

This was such a formative movie

[musicalhell]

This shit was revolutionary for the mid-90s. Among other things it helped me understand that transgender and cross-dressing were completely separate things.

[aqueerkettleofish]

To this day, I am in awe of the fact that Patrick Swayze not only campaigned hard to get the audition, not only auditioned in dress and makeup, but spent most of the day leading up to the audition walking around LA in dress and makeup.

This was a man who could sing, dance, act, ride a horse, fight, and walk in heels, he had nothing to prove to anyone, and he is MISSED.

[aqueerkettleofish]

Okay, I’m not done feeling about this.

If you’re younger, you may not know Patrick Swayze; he was Taken From Us in 2009. But Patrick Swayze was an icon of masculinity. Men were willing to watch romantic movies because Patrick Swayze was in them.

Patrick Swayze was fucking beefcake.

And this man didn’t just agree to do a movie where the only time he’s not actually in drag is the first three minutes, which involve stepping out of the shower, doing make up, and getting Dressed. He has ONE LINE that is delivered in a man’s voice, and it’s not during those three minutes.

And if you watch those three minutes, you see a stark difference between his portrayal of Miss Vida Bohéme and Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson. (I am not criticizing Snipes’ performance. They were different roles.) Noxeema was a comedy character. Chi-Chi was a comedy character. But Miss Vida Bohéme was a dramatic role, played by a dramatic powerhouse.

When Vida sits down in front of the mirror, she sees a man. And she doesn’t like it.

Then she puts her hair up, and her face lights up.

“Ready or not,” she says. “Here comes Mama.”

And while Noxeema is having fun with her transformation (at one point breaking into a giggling fit after putting on pantyhose), Vida is simply taking pleasure in bringing out her true self. And when she’s done, she sees this:

And you can FEEL her pride.

All of this from an actor who, up to this point, walked on to the screen and dripped testosterone.

[impossiblemonsters]

the fact that some of you history-ignorant children in the notes are trying to shit on groundbreaking historical queer cinema because it doesn’t meet 2021 standards is infuriating. sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen to the elders in the room for fucking once

[darkshrimpemotions]

This. If you have never lived in a world where queerness was universally pathologized and criminalized to the point that even IMAGINING a world where it wasn’t constituted a radical and potentially dangerous act, you don’t have any business judging those of us who have for how we survived it and how we found (or still find) comfort in the few imperfect representations we got.

You don’t have to like it. You probably aren’t capable of “getting” it. And to be honest, I don’t want you to! I am glad that young queer people will never know exactly what it was like “back then.” But what you also will not do is refuse to learn your own history and then shit on everything that came before you, because like it or not what came before you is the reason you will never have to get what it was like back then.

[hussyknee]

On Wesley Snipes’s role Noxeema and John Leguizamo as Chi-Chi Rodriguez.

“I grew up in the ‘70s and even within the street culture, there was a lot of flamboyancy,” Snipes told TODAY of his perception of drag before filming. “Pimps wore the same furs as theprostitutes wore.

“Some of the great musicians of the world, like Parliament-Funkadelic, were very androgynous. So it wasn’t really new for me to see men dressed as women or men dressed as drag queens.”

Snipes attended the famed LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts and then State University of New York at Purchase. He wasn’t a dance major, but most of his friends were. “That exposed me to the world of glam, vogue, drag, transgender and gay people, LGBTQ… but it wasn’t in fashion those days. But it existed and I was around it.”

Not only did “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” pave the way for “To Wong Foo,” so did films like the 1968 documentary “The Queen” and “Paris Is Burning,” the 1990 doc that chronicled ball culture of New York and the various Black and queer communities involved in it.

Even though he was known for his action roles, Snipes’ portrayal of Noxeema wasn’t the first time he played a drag queen. In 1986, he made his Broadway debut in the play “Execution of Justice,” playing Sister Boom Boom, a real-life AIDS activist and drag nun who acted as the show’s voice of conscience. Snipes pointed out, “Sister Boom Boom did not have Noxeema’s makeup kit.”

On whether he got any pushback for stepping into Noxeema’s pumps, he said, “Not so much professionally but the streets weren’t feeling it, and there were certain community circles. The martial arts community… they were not feeling it at all.”

“In fact, when the movie came out and they would come down the street, I would see them in Brooklyn sometimes, they started listing all my movies. I noticed they would always skip that one. I would correct them, ‘Now you don’t got the full count!’”

Lesser-known than his co-stars at the time, Lequizamo didn’t really anticipate becoming a transgender icon, but he did know that they were working on something special when they started filming.

“Drag didn’t really exist in movies,” Lequizamo, who was nominated for a Golden Globe for his portrayal, told TODAY. “There were straight men pretending to be women to get out of trouble or into trouble but this was not that. I was trying to make Chi-Chi a real life trans character and Patty and Wesley were trying to be real drag queens.” Never fully articulated in the film, Chi-Chi Rodriguez has always been perceived as transgender, something that ending up making an indelible mark on LGBTQ people in the late ‘90s as trans representation in media was limited.

“Chi-Chi was a trans icon, but she also showed us that gay men and trans women can both perform and work in drag side by side, and that those relationships are symbiotic,” Cayne explained.

“It was a powerful thing. I get lots of fan mail from LGBTQ teens telling me how my character helped them come out to their parents,” Leguizamo said. “They didn’t feel like they were seen, so that was a beautiful gift from the movie.”

Lequizamo also articulates that if “To Wong Foo” were cast today, a trans actor should be cast in his role. (And that just may happen, since Beane is developing a musical for Broadway.) “Anybody can play anything, but the playing field is not fair that way,” he said. “Not everybody is allowed to play everything. So until we get to that place, it is important for trans actors to get a chance to act which they don’t. In the project I’m doing, I’m making sure that the person playing trans is a trans person so we can make it legit, make it real. That just needs to be done right now.”

Source: How Hollywood heartthrobs and Steven Spielberg helped make a drag queen cult classic

[fedorahead]

a monumental film in the library of queer history.

it was formative for modern society, too.

there are a lot of action fans out there who learned from their idols that respect doesn’t cost a damn thing to give. i know plenty of people who aren’t queer saw trans women and drag queens presented as people to them for the first time in wong fu. suddenly, strange and foreign queer identities that had only been presented to them as jokes if they’d even heard of them, seemed a little more relatable, and very human.

we’re all just people.

snipes, swayze, and leguizamo were willing to play people a lot of their fans didn’t respect yet or didn’t even know how to respect and demand they figure it the fuck out.

[jam-etc]

This is a HUGE reblog but I watched this as a little girl on cable TV and I’m so glad I did. GO WATCH THIS AS SOON AS YOU CAN

[pieandhotdogs]

Is it wrong that I’m cool with “sex” being removed from the pride flag? They should bring back “magic” though.

Personally I think you’re wrong and an idiot but that’s just my opinion.

[pieandhotdogs]

Fyi this isn’t a dig at people who are asexual or sex-repulsed. Gay sex was literally a criminal act in the parts of the United States Texas until 2003. A healthy relationship to both sex and your body is a major component of the human experience, but especially LGBTQ+ people. Yes this includes people who have a healthy understanding of their boundaries with regards to sex. To try and divorce the fight for LGBTQ+ rights from sexuality is both dangerous and ahistorical.

[a-knight-in-shining-rainbows]

friendly unfriendly reminder that the sex stripe never stood for just the act itself, it stood for the choice to engage in it. it stood for uncomventional sexualities and preferences.

that fucking includes ace/sex-repulsed people.

like. it is conventional to want sex! those that don’t actively defy that role. they *choose* not too - that is part of the history of the stripe too (not to take away from OPs point tho - gay sex as a criminal act is absolutely enough in its own to bring the color back).

[powerfulwizard]

Why do trans women always get blamed when formerly “female” products or spaces get turned to gender neutral or whatever, like radfems getting mad at trans women for some reason for the female symbol being removed from menstrural products.... trans women aren’t the ones that is supposed to be for you know...... not saying there is anything wrong with that symbol getting removed because there isnt...... like the people advocating for things advertised towards women to be gender neutral are transmasc people. trans women uh, actively want to be referred to as women. I feel like that should be obvious.

[powerfulwizard]

trans men: can we stop referring to abortion as a womens rights issue because it affects us too and it makes it difficult for us to get abortions when we need it

terfs: why did trans women do this? you cant even say women these days, all because of trans women

[achoquenaao]