occasionally subtle
if i look back, i am lost
Andulka
★
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
No title available
⁂
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Love Begins
Kiana Khansmith
Claire Keane
ojovivo
DEAR READER
titsay
@theartofmadeline
Sade Olutola
Stranger Things
izzy's playlists!
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Indonesia
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
@thatblondepainintheass
can they please make a dishwasher with a transparent door? i want to see what's going on in there
washing machine: open, honest, shows you how its cleaning your clothes
dishwasher: mysterious, untrustworthy, keeps its cleaning methods a secret
Good omens and the forbidden book chap 2, the sorting ceremony
Chap 1
Good Omens and the Forbidden book, chap 1
I mean, we all joke about Crowley having to teach Aziraphale to do the Walk™️ in preparation for the bodyswap, but honestly? I don't think that Aziraphalewas necessarily the one with the harder job here.
How much time do we think was spent teaching Crowley how not to act like Aziraphale? Or, at least, not the version he knew.
"You're waving your hands around too much, my dear."
"Angel, you wave your hands around. You're literally waving mine around right now."
"Yes, but not in Heaven! Keep them behind your back, like this. That way you can keep better control of them. Also, please do not smile like that."
"I actually thought I had the smile down pretty well."
"That's as may be, but it's unlikely to be necessary during our execution. Anyway, that's not a Heaven-smile. If you must smile, do it like this."
"Like I'm fucking terrified? 'Cause I really don't think that that will be a problem, angel, considering what we're about to try and pull off."
"It's not terrified! It's respectful. It's how you're supposed to smile in Heaven."
"… You're certain that you don't want me to set them on hellfire while I'm up there, right?"
Ugh, and probably saying things like “Now, kindly remember to be polite to Gabriel no matter what he says. He can be a bit rude when he gets upset, but really, it’s nothing I’m not used to. Just stay calm and respectful or he will know something is different.”
Cut to, well, all the things Gabriel actually says, and Crowley in physical pain trying not to break character and just chuck that wanker headfirst into the Hellfire.
I've had a visual in my head for a while where after they switch, Aziraphale!Crowley straightens Crowley!Aziraphale's tie like "Ok here just like that." And Crowley is just "Angel I've got it, I've seen you do this for over a hundred years." And they both kind of look at each other for a moment before the "Right, here we go" moment.
Tagged by: @nichristi Rule: Answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you want to know better (*i don't know enough people on here well enough to tag!) Nickname: My Queen or Captain Zodiac sign: Scorpio Height: 5'7" Hogwarts House: Slytherin Last thing I googled: Jacquetta of Luxembourg Song stuck in my head: “Get Down” from SIX the musical Amount of sleep I get: 6-8 hours? Lucky numbers: 13 Dream job: historian at Hampton Court Wearing: An old Sailor Jerry tshirt and black leggings Instruments: just my voice, if we’re referring to musical instruments Random Facts: My genealogy traces back to Tudor times: Catherine Howard’s sister, Anne of Cleves brother, and Henry VIIIs illegitimate son, Henry Fitzroy. Aesthetic: cool rain on black and red brick at Hampton Court, the smell of meat pies cooking, Scottish baps made with Sainsbury’s rolls, fresh hot coffee, Bakewell tarts, latkes frying, coconut macaroons, charoset, and matzah ball soup; cashmere scarves and knee high leather boots, torn up punk tees and tartan print denim, red lipstick and black eyeliner, hair bleach and manic panic, anarcho-Judaic tattoos that need explanation, Shabbat candles burning, saying the S'hma at bedtime, Carmex and lavender shea butter, Penhaligon’s perfume, cucumber and watermelon lotion, thrift shop toddler clothes and tween hoodies, pins and patches and denim cuts at punk shows, Rossini’s Thieving Magpie and Eric Satee’s Gymnopedies, SIX and Hamilton and Propagandhi, the Wolf Hall soundtrack, listening to Star Trek Voyager and Monarchy overnight, 25th anniversaries, and bar/bat mitzvahs to come.
@themanyregenerationsofthedoctor @brilliantinconvenience @alitbitmoody @jeremiebrett @azirafinch
One of New York Central’s “Mercury” engines in Chicago, 1936.
Where did these go, because I desperately want them back.
You do NOT want them back.
They look neat but there’s a reason these beasts were retired. The Mercury Streamliners, as they was known, got off to a good start. They improved the quality of travel and attracted many tourists to the rail service, which in the 1930s was already growing less popular as a result of the flourishing air travel industry.
But it was not to last. In 1938, a Mercury Engine plowed into a cow named Bessie in upstate New York and, lacking a cow catcher, the collision tore off part of the sleek streamlined veneer that covered the engine underneath. This is what a Mercury Streamliner Engine looks like under its slick armor:
Clearly visible are the three toothy skulls with phallic lobed craniums and bladed jaws. The public was horrified.
To explain, the Mercury Engine was designed by Hans Richard Giger, father of future “Alien” creature designer Hans Rudolf Giger. Like his son, Hans Richard was known in the art world for his dark and disturbing designs. Having won the design contest for the Mercury Engine based on its exterior, the manufacturers were willing to ignore the unseen undercarriage’s necessary skeletal and demonic fashions.
Once seen however, the jig was up. The public demanded the engines be taken offline, and it didn’t happen a day too soon. It seems the Swiss architect had designed his trains with much the same mentality with which Ivo Shandor designed 55 Central Park West- As a doomsday device.
Had the Engines been online only ten days longer, they’d have seen The Day of The Awakening of the Unholy Star, a Neokhlystic holiday on which the world was mourned in preparation for the end of all time. As designed, Giger’s trains would’ve come to live, devouring and digesting their patrons in a blood sacrifice to the Satanic Lord of Carnage, Beelciftan. Had the sacrifice been accepted, the apocalypse would’ve swept from New York across the globe. So said the legend.
Here’s the thing- Legend or not if the Mercury trains had remained online a week after they were revealed as demonic devices, their owner, Bill Gruss von Krampus would’ve had the funds he intended to send to the Nazi Regime in Germany in 1938, which would’ve allowed them to start their nuclear program two years earlier. This would’ve given them the Bomb in 1943, two years before the United States completed its Manhattan Project.
So the demonic plot may well have come true in reality had the unsettling underskeletons of these beasts been revealed. There is now a monument to the Cow of Albany that died to reveal the truth.
Thank you Bessie, for without you the world would be a different place, if it still existed at all.
What the fuck did I just read
do the spiderverse kids all have. slightly different meme cultures
miles: look I can fit my whole fist in my mouth
gwen: freaky flexing. but alright
miles:
miles, through his fist: I’m sorry what did you just say
ok but remember Peter B’s world is most like ours
so both Miles and Gwen would have slightly off memes and distress him when he has a hard enough time remembering his own world’s memes
I WAS HOPING SOMEBODY WOULD POINT THIS OUT.
Miles: It’s “strange flex but cool beans.” Peter: Am I tripping on something? Is this a stroke, is this what a stroke feels like?
Miles: *makes a mistake* This is distressing. Siri play Take on Me.
Gwen: you absolute heathen. It’s ‘This is tragic, google play All Star.’
Peter: whAT the fUCK
THAT’S IT THIS ONE IS THE BEST ONE
noir: strange flaunt, but alas
Noir:
You’ve done it - you found something that fits the format but holds the meaning “fuck Nazis”.
spiderham: hmm disappointing, jukebox play what’s new pussycat
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: “Yer a wizard, Harry!”
Harry Houdini, sobbing in frustration: “Oh my god. Oh my god. Arthur I’m not a goddamn wizard. Please stop.”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: “Why won’t you trust me, Harry? Am I not good enough to share in your wizard secrets?”
Harry Houdini: “Arthur please. Please. Arthur you are the most gullible man alive and you’re getting scammed by paper cutouts of faeries.”
Harry Houdini: “Arthur, this isn’t working out. I think we should have a friend breakup. It’s unhealthy…”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: “I was thinking the same thing. If you won’t face the facts and accept that you’re a magic wizard, I don’t think I can carry this relationship by myself knowing the truth about you.”
Harry Houdini: “Yeah see this is exactly what I mean.”
Here is a work of historical fantasy that I would like to exist: A disgruntled Harry Houdini and a delighted Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stumble upon the existence of a hidden magical world.
Doyle: I KNEW IT.
Houdini: I HATE THIS.
Okay, this, bur all the times that Doyle was scammed were still scams, so he’s like “I knew fairies were real!” some magic person “I mean yeah, but those aren’t fairies, they’re obviously cardboard cutouts”
Queue fifteen minutes of an irate Houdini and an actual magical being trying to convince Doyle that, no none of that stuff from before was actually magic
If you want Houdini at peak exasperated, it’s set in 1927, the year after he died and 3 years before Doyle kicks off, because imagine just how irate the man who spent a good portion of his life proving Spiritualists to be frauds, the man who had so little patience for the notion of mediums and the idea of talking to the dead, that he had his wife arrange to regularly hold seances just to prove that he wasn’t going to come back, would be to find himself an actual ghost, and Doyle’s the only one who can see him.
Houdini wasn’t hostile to the idea of the supernatural, he was hostile to the existence of frauds and exploitation. If Houdini had encountered real magic that he could not disprove I think he would have been delighted.
God only knows what the context of this is
But the Crowley and Aziraphale energy is off the charts
“Look, I’m just saying, it wasn’t my fault if he decided to commit suicide by threatening you.”
“Do you really think our respective offices are going to care?”
“Well, no. I’m just saying it’s not my fault. Anyway, he was a saint to his parish and a demon to his housekeeper. Makes him a double agent. So we’re both doing the right thing.”
“And both doing the wrong one.”
“Well. I suppose you could make that argument.”
“How deep do you think we need to put him?”
“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never hidden a body before. I still don’t see why we can’t miracle him away.”
“Audits, my dear. I’m not sure how your side is about it, but my side audits miracles. Unless you’re really sure about that “both doing the right thing” argument.”
“Whatever. Hold your end higher, would you? He’s heavier than he looks.”
WTF, I love this fandom
As a medieval art scholar and an obsessive GO fan, this made my whole week.
IT GOT BETTER
The comments and responses on this post are amazing
I’m c r y i n g
Oh my godddd
mary i: *becomes queen*
english protestants:
Based off of this post by @divorcedbeheaded
Gonna tell my kids these were the hogwarts founders
More Good Meowmens - featuring the tragic tale of Crowley’s Fall (off of the kitchen counter, which he wasn’t allowed to be on anyway)
Crowley: (Looking out the window of Anathema’s cottage at the horrible weather) That storm’s not stopping, is it?
Anathema: I don’t think so, no.
Crowley: It’s going to be bloody miserable when Aziraphale gets back to his bookshop.
Anathema: I imagine so.
Crowley: (Pulls out his cell phone and dials) Alexa? Turn on the lights. Set the temperature to 23 degrees. Play Four Seasons - Spring, I think. And turn the kettle on. Thank you.”
Anathema: (impressed) Mr. Fell has an Alexa? That’s rather progressive of him, isn’t it?
Crowley: (Looking confused) No. His bookshop’s haunted by some chic named Alexa. If she’s going to hang about, she might as well earn her keep.
Broke: the shop is actually haunted
Woke: Crowley doesn’t know what an Alexa is and THINKS the shop is haunted but the truth is Zira decided to catch up on 21st tech one night and bought a whole Alexa system (he still doesn’t have a cell phone, and didn’t realize some of the tech is supposed to be connected to one. It works just fine anyway), and just assumed Crowley knew what was going on since he had no problem fussing at “her ”
Bespoke: Aziraphale’s shop is haunted. It’s haunted by spirits the same way it’s haunted by people. It’s a beacon that gathers lost souls to it, living and dead, in search of answers, with unfinished business. Unloved in life? Victim of a hate crime? Death unsolved with no hope of justice? Innocent bystander of a mob murder? They all find their way to Aziraphale’s. His aura shares the same holy signature as the white light people often see before they die, which is why it is a comfort to the lonely. Many have been led there by a long lost loved one, sometimes centuries gone. Their ghostly presence contributes to the musty odor of the shop, the sudden cold spots people often feel. And Aziraphale knows it. He welcomes it. Sure, he thought the hauntings would help keep people away, but watching wanderers reunite with deceased relations warms his heart. He watches from a distance as they stand close together and peruse the books, whispering to one another in the form of prayers, even if they don’t know what exactly they’re doing. Sometimes they ask him - “Mr. Fell, is your shop haunted?”
He shrugs and smiles. “Some people think so. The only thing that haunts me is that giant snake in the corner. But I married him, so that’s on me, as the kids say.”
Yes, people think he’s weird, but he’s that safe kind of weird that’s more fun than scary, so they feel free to stay and explore the sensation of happiness and security they get while browsing Shakespeare’s sonnets.
Many people find closure there. Some find a renewed sense of faith.
And as long as no one buys anything, they’re welcome to return.
i have no regrets and no braincells
the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men
Game of Walking Bad
why the fuck is this so funny
vampire comedy ideas that will never not be funny to me:
a vampire who was turned as a child sternly telling a much older looking vampire to ‘respect their elders’
“i could sleep for a week” *proceeds to literally sleep for an entire week*
a vampire shouting “hey, we’re not done here! don’t you DARE fly away from me!” at a rapidly retreating swarm of bats
“you can’t tell ANYONE what i just told you okay” “i swear, i’ll take it to my grave” *cut to the next shot in a dimly lit cellar containing several coffins, each with a vampire sitting or lying in it* “so you’ll never guess what-”
a vampire saying “i never look good in pictures of me” but instead of a photo on their phone they’re looking at their portrait in an art gallery
*outlandish story about something that happened to them in the 12th century* “you totally made that up” “how would YOU know” “because i was THERE, asshole”
a vampire walking into a glass door because they can’t see their reflection in it
complaining about how door-to-door salesmen have made hunting much harder
immediately followed by a shot of two vampires visiting a house where the owner simply says “whatever you’re selling, we’re not buying” and slams the door shut
*sees a house with a welcome mat* “hey, guys, look! an open house buffet!”
“your father would be turning in his grave” *cut to a shot of a casket rattling as if someone is indeed spinning inside it*
someone: you don’t look a day over thirty!
vampire who was turned when they were thirty (200 years ago): *looks into the camera like they’re on the office*
“good morning. sleep well!”
