welcome to chaos

lowkey traumatised but functioning

[kissyoulikealover]

yeah all my posts actually have hundreds of notes you just can't see them. people are laughing and calling me so funny and pretty and smart in the tags but you just cant see it. but it's happening i promise

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[jessaerys]

i think it's beautiful that cats eat you if you die in your apartment and nobody finds you for a while. i don't know why it's used as anti-kitty cat propaganda as if eating you means they don't love u. if i died and no one found me for a while i would want my kitty cat to eat me bc i love her so much and i don't want her to starve. it's not her fault i'm too dead to give her her fancy feasts. she's going thru something scary ok. i don't know a single cat owner who doesn't feel the same way

[lengthy-artery]

tshirt concept

[oneheadtoanother]

[estrogirlie]

cis coworker: hey can i ask you something personal

[tarragonthedragon]

in 2026 i am wishing for all of us the energy of bilbo baggins, who was headhunted for an extremely well paid role he had no qualifications or experience for, blagged the interview, and within his first week found a magic ring that does the job for him

[deep-state-partisan]

[flutterbvnny]

daily affirmation i do NOT have a secret disgusting evil hidden within me that will some day make its way out

[ocdheritageposts]

OCD Heritage Post

[toastyglow]

youtube ad: our AI tool can help you--

me, out loud as I skip it: I'll fucking kill you

[toastyglow]

youtube ad: our AI tool can help you--

me, out loud as I skip it: I'll fucking kill you

[garaks-padded-bra]

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

[do-not-fold-spindle-or-mutilate]

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

[garaks-padded-bra]

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

[deceasedcardinal]

[blupeeblep]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[roach-works]

i recently found out the funniest thing about big horses recently which is that for centuries humans have sworn that the feathering on big horse’s legs has been bred in there for a reason, and the reason given is usually something to do with how it helps keep the joints warm and safe when the big horse is doing hauling work in fields.

the thing is: it doesn’t appreciably do that, because the feathers wick up water and mud, which cancels out any insulation advantage they might hypothetically confer, and also it wasn’t even put there on purpose.

the Leg Get More Hair gene is just linked to the Bones Get More Big gene. when you breed any lineage of horses to have bigger bones–not just taller, but chunkier–the leg hair just happens anyway. so every single breed of draft horse has feathered legs, and even carriage horses like friesians get feathers once they hit a certain threshold of lorge.

when you supersize your horse, mother nature throws in a free pair of booties. how cool is that?

[r-truth]

[gischtglas]

[hybernating-bear]

That's because this is Silmarillion

[the-commonplace-book]

[copepods]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

[copepods]

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

[lintubintu]

@holyknuckled like that?

[holyknuckled]

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

[swagophile]

me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice

maid 1: poison her

maid 2: yea poison her

maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want

me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her

maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps

maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister

maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work

maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve

maid 2: MARY

maid 1: cmon mary

maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does

me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once

maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more

maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up

maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin

maid 1: how recent is the spill

maid 5: a few days old

maid 2: you're fucked