ThatDamSeaweedBlog

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Percy: *coming in with a sack* Honey, I got the baby minotaur

Annabeth: you mean the baby monitor?

Percy: *snorting sounds from the sack* Be right back

[thatdamseaweedblog]

So I’m taking a Fan Fiction class at my College and I decided to write a Crackfic based on this post as an assignment.

Here it is, hope you like it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Percy wiped the blood off his eyebrow as the body of the Minotaur turned to dust. It was the first monster he ever slayed. All those years ago on the way to Camp Half Blood. Percy still had the horn of that incarnation. It was hanging on the wall above his bed.

"Now comes the hard part," Percy breathily said to himself "waiting for him to reincarnate". Percy had no idea why his wife would want a Baby Minotaur. Did she want to fight it? Percy asked himself. She was 7 months pregnant and needed Percy's help picking m&ms off the floor last night. Percy didn't think she should be fighting any monsters while pregnant. Annabeth had been keeping up with some of her demigod training while pregnant to keep her fighting skill strong, but that didn't include any monster fighting. Maybe she wants to fight this monster because she thinks it'll be a good training monster to fight while pregnant? Percy wondered. Percy didn't believe his wife should be fighting any monsters while pregnant, but he still went out to get the Baby Minotaur for her since she put it on the Target list. He knew if Annabeth asked him for anything, including the Minotaur, she knew what she was doing.

Percy walked into Target to get the rest of the items on the list while he waited for the Minotaur to be reincarnated. He was very surprised Annabeth knew the Minotaur would be at Target. He guessed whatever reason Annabeth needed the Baby Minotaur for must've been really important because she knew where it would be. As he was loading up his car Percy heard a rustling sound from the bushes. He loaded the last of his items into the car and picked up a burlap sack from his trunk.

"Thank the gods I never clean out my car" Percy said to himself.

Leaves were falling off the jolting shrubbery as Percy got closer, he could hear labored squeals. In the bushes, the newest incarnation of the Minotaur was flailing it's limbs. It was about three feet in length with chunky limbs and chubby belly. From the neck down, it looked like a rather large baby. It's head looked like a baby cow's with itty bitty horns sticking out on top.

"This should be easy" Percy confidently announced to nobody as he walked over to the Baby Minotaur, ready to put it in the burlap sack. As he leaned over the Minotaur to put it in the bag, the Minotaur gave Percy a swift kick in the gut, sending him 5 feet up in the air.

"Spoke too soon" Percy grunted as he got up "that's gonna leave a hernia"

Ignoring his pain, Percy walked over to the Minotaur and threw himself on top of it. He Avoided its legs this time as he threw himself on top of it. The Baby Minotaur let out loud distressing cries as Percy pinned the Minotaur's legs under his own legs. The Minotaur punched Percy in the chest as Percy wrestled the bag open.

Percy wondered what this would look like through the mist. Probably some crazy 6'1" man wrestling some animal in a bush.

The Minotaur headbutted Percy with its tiny, yet sharp, horns. Percy moaned as he finally opened the sack wide enough to shove the Minotaur's head in.

Once its head was in, Percy grabbed its left arm with his right hand and wrestled it into the bag. Percy bag's contents with his right arm as he used his left to wrestle the Minotaur's right arm into the bag. Now that the Minotaur's head, arms, and torso were in the bag, Percy needed to figure out how to get the legs in.

Percy tightened his grip around the opening of the bag as he jumped off the Minotaur's legs. He quickly flipped the Minotaur upside down as then loosened the grip to let the Minotaur's legs slide into the bag. The Minotaur almost began to fall out of the bag, but Percy was able to redirect it's body back into the bag. The Minotaur kicked his foot within a hair of Percy's head as he slipped into the sack. Percy started bouncing the sack up and down like he was putting a pillow in a pillow case.

Maybe she wants the Baby Minotaur to practice parenting on? Percy thought to himself. It seemed like a dangerous baby to take care of, but if Annabeth thought it was a good idea then it must be a good idea. Percy gently tossed the bag into the back seat before realizing what he had just done. "Probably shouldn't have done that. Or shaken him so much" Percy said to himself as he got into his car to drive home.

When Percy got home, the first thing he brought into the house was the burlap sack with the Baby Minotaur.

"Honey, I got the Baby Minotaur" Percy announced

"You mean the baby monitor?" Annabeth asked

The Baby Minotaur let out a snort from its sack.

"Be right back"

[thatdamseaweedblog]

I should write a PJOxCrazy Ex Girlfriend Crossover where Annabeth quits her job at a prestigious San Francisco Architecture to move to Poughkeepsie because she ran into her ex-boyfriend, Percy, from when she was a kid at camp.

The Paula character will be played by Piper

The Daryl character will be played by Leo

I need to figure out the rest.

I will probably never write this, but wouldn’t it be cool?

Actually, now that I think about this, it probably already exists

I just checked it doesn’t.

Still probably won’t write this

Or will I?

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Chiron: You really like that Juul, don’t you?

Mr D: Not really. I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes and weed makes me anxious, but I need something

Chiron: How about therapy?

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Percy: want some coffee?

Frank: Sure, what kind of alternative milks do you have

Percy: uh, the 2% likes Green Day

[ms2jfv7os13]

based on this important post (congrats on 1k @jewishpercy!)

[windbyfire]

i relate to grover a lot tbh

[abigailannsblog-deactivated2021]

Can someone suggest a new username since I won’t be strictly pjo anymore? give me new usernames

[sarcasticspiderman]

InfiniteFandomIncorrectQuotes

[abigailannsblog-deactivated2021]

See I also will be writing posts about the fandoms I like. Not just incorrect quotes. Idk what I want to call myself.

[thatdamseaweedblog]

morethanpercyjacksonincorrectquotes

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Police Officer: Get out of the vehicle

Percy: After this song

[moved-to-ofswordsandpens]

the entirety of the lightning thief really is just Percy, Annabeth, and Grover fighting over the use of one (1) singular brain cell isn’t it

[moved-to-ofswordsandpens]

She said, “Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?”

“They’re … um …” Annabeth started to say.

“We’re orphans,” I said.

“Orphans?” the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. “But, my dears! Surely not!”

“We got separated from our caravan,” I said. “Our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we’re lost. Is that food I smell?”

.

He looked us over. “How did you die, then?”

I nudged Grover.

“Oh,” he said. “Um … drowned … in the bathtub.”

“All three of you?” Charon asked.

We nodded.

.

“I’m not saying hello to a pink poodle,” I said. “For-get it.”

“Percy,” Annabeth said. “I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle.”

The poodle growled.

I said hello to the poodle.

.

“I don’t know. Just a feeling. Annabeth, come with me-”

“Are you kidding?” She looked at me as if I’d just dropped from the moon. Her cheeks were bright red.

“What’s the problem now?” I demanded.

“Me, go with you to the … the ‘Thrill Ride of Love’? How embarrassing is that? What if somebody saw me?”

.

I LOVE my kids

[chillaxingwithanaxe-deactivated]

Me reading the lightning thief:

[moved-to-ofswordsandpens]

what’s hilarious is that the version of this that’s going around without the quotes is getting heavily commented on that Annabeth has the brain cell the entire time

and like…….. you guys are missing out on the fact that Annabeth was horrified that someone would see her with Percy in an abandoned water park where the only people there are in fact, her, percy, and grover.

This is Dumbass Annabeth erasure and I won’t stand for it.

[apollos-ships]

Did they even have one brain cell to begin with

[mikenlos]

nico x shoes

sorry i never do shoes so it’s not perfect ;;

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Nico will wear doc martens over timbs any day

[demidorks]

Annabeth: Who the fuck turned off the WiFi?

Nico:

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Estelle: Percy, can you take me to the water park?

Percy: I'm sorry, you need an adult to go to the water park.

Estelle: But you're an adult

Sally: You also have the ability to literally control water

[signorina-nessuno-deactivated20]

remember to pet your dwarf/elf friend!!!

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Not gonna lie, I thought this was a penguin at first glance.

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Chiron: Are you seeing anyone?

Leo: I have a weighted blanket and a bottle of perfume.

Chiron: Maybe we should talk about how you use humor to compensate for the fact that you're lonely

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Percy: *coming in with a sack* Honey, I got the baby minotaur

Annabeth: you mean the baby monitor?

Percy: *snorting sounds from the sack* Be right back

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Annabeth: The door is alarmed

Percy: What startled it?

[thatdamseaweedblog]

Uncle Rick, can you write the Percy Jackson book where Percy formally gets banned from Sea World already?