They/Them / thatgoblin on AO3 /Age: 36/ I do post NSFW/ Minors are fine, will have age appropriate interactions/Â Feel free to Reblog stories and Headcannons / Emergency Contact: sebbytheraccoon
"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"
I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,
Even with the ads and the weird takes, Tumblr has never made me crash out cause it was overwhelming and demanding and tricking me into pushing buttons to open it.
It doesn't make me doom scroll.
I'm not forced to fix an algorithm because I stayed too long on a post or video.
It's easier to pic out bots and ai on this platform. (For me.)
Tumblr still has faults, but it's not NEARLY as bad as the others.
"can you be a fan of a video game you havent played" discourse is stupid, because plenty of people who played the game have some of the dumbest fucking takes ive ever seen
mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter
Author's note: I got this idea while sorting through a massive amount of alphabet kandi beads before bed and while unmedicated. So... Take that as you will lmao. Enjoy this short, horny one-shot! AND I'M NOT DEAD YET! >:D
Content Warnings: NSFW, Nikolai is his own warning, Smut with very little plot, creampie, implied consent.
Nikolai is a patient man, or at least, he tries to be. If there's a better opportunity and he just has to wait for it, he will. But even patient men sometimes get a bit... pent up. Especially after being gone for a few weeks while doing routine training.
Nikolai had been home a couple days and while he loved the domesticity, he did still crave your attention after his absence. Especially when you looked so cute to him. Laid on your tummy, in just your underwear, sorting through small crafting supplies on your shared bed.
He knew he couldn't be petty. As much as he wanted to just toss whatever you were sorting aside. That would make you mad, and then you'd have to start over. So he'd get less attention overall. So instead, he recalled what you'd told him earlier, when you started sorting.
"Love, I don't care what you do, so long as you don't interrupt me while I'm focused. I really wanna get this done so we can spend proper time together." You had been trying to sort your project for a few hours but had gotten distracted many times with different tasks and knew you wouldn't be able to give him proper attention with the thought of it in the back of your head. And he accepted these terms.
So now, he knew what he had to do. As long as he didn't interrupt you, he could do as he pleased. He started slow. He undressed down to his boxers, before moving to sit on the bed, gently running a hand along your leg to alert you of his presence so he didn't startle you. Once you gave a hum of acknowledgement, he continued, his hands gently caressing your skin. With surprising skill, he carefully began to position himself ontop of you, knees on either side of your thighs, hands planted beside your shoulders. All without jostling your sorting or restricting your movements.
"Nik? What are you doing?" You hesitantly ask, a bit confused by what he was trying to accomplish.
"Shhh... You told me not to bother you, remember? I'm not going to start now. You can keep working on your... Little thing there." Nikolai chuckled softly, gently shushing you as he adjusted his position slightly, lowering himself closer to your body. Soon, he had his groin pressed against your ass, his forming erection pressing against you from behind. He groaned softly in your ear as his body made contact with yours, even if clothes were in the way.
Lifting your leg slightly so he had better access, Nikolai began to rock his hips against you, being careful not to shake the bed too much but also keeping as much contact as possible.
"Fuck, Malysh..." Nikolai cursed softly, trying to stay quiet but unable to. Your cheeks were practically glowing with how you blushed. But, you did say he could do what he wanted so long as he didn't interrupt you. Though it was a bit hard to focus on what you were doing with him grinding against you. Especially when he began to press soft kisses to your back and whisper words of affection in Russian.
After quite a bit of grinding and teasing, Nikolai pulled himself from his boxers, rubbing his cock between your ass cheeks to try and get more friction. When that stopped being comfortable, he began trying to rub himself against your clothed pussy. You really wanted to focus, and were wondering how far he'd take it before he'd beg to be inside you. So you didn't give him any help. You just powered through, trying to finish sorting before he got too desperate.
His cock slid between your pussy lips with relative ease given he was getting you worked up, making your underwear a bit damp. Every so often, his cockhead would bump against your clit, sending shivers down your spine. Your hands began to shake and with the last bit being sorted out, you closed the box you kept everything in, yanked your underwear down, and practically presented yourself to him.
Nikolai grinned triumphantly before rubbing his cock against you a bit more, gathering some of your slick to make things smoother. Especially when the head of his cock notched against your entrance so easily, slowly pushing inside. Both of you groaned as he sunk in deeper. Nikolai's hand reached between your thighs and rubbed harshly against your clit, making you gasp, giving him the perfect opportunity to give a harsh thrust, burying himself all the way inside.
His cock throbbed inside you as he held still, allowing you to adjust for a moment. Once he was certain he wouldn't catch, he began to thrust, desperate to cum inside you. Gripping the bedding, you moaned, arching your back. His skilled fingers hadn't let up, working your clit with practiced ease. He knew just how to make you fall apart.
And just as you crest your peak, your pussy clenching tightly around his thick cock, Nikolai cums inside you. His hot seed spills deep, warmth blooming in your lower stomach. He kisses your neck, his fingers slowing against your clit, giving a few teasing swipes here and there to keep you milking him.
"I hope I didn't interrupt you." He purred, nipping at your shoulder playfully.
"You're lucky I finished that up just in time." You roll your eyes, but you definitely can't stay mad at him. Not when he made you feel so good.
"Lucky indeed." He hummed, carefully rolling you two onto your sides so he could cuddle you closely without pulling out just yet. He wanted to stay inside for just a bit longer. He missed you after all. And well, you may need indulge him more often if it leads to this.
There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WWI was perfectly normal.
There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!
"One has indeed personally to come under the shadow of war to feel fully its oppression; but as the years go by it seems now often forgotten that to be caught in youth by 1914 was no less hideous an experience than to be involved in 1939 and the following years. By 1918, all but one of my close friends were dead."
He talked about how WWI affected his writing all the time, he was not in denial for how it affected??? Am I missing something????
He was also very clear that he was not writing allegory. Now, some people are not very clear on what allegory means. "Allegory" and "symbols" are not the same thing. Allegory is a type of symbolism, but there are a lot of ways of doing symbolism that aren't allegory ... and a lot of people are kind of fuzzy on that. The way allegory is most commonly used in literary and religious analysis is that there is a direct, almost 1:1 correspondence between the literary figure and what it is standing in for.
So, for example, Pilgrim's Progress is an allegory of Christian salvation. It's sort of a novel? There are characters who do stuff? but also they are very one-dimensional. The main character is a guy named Christian--yes, really!--who is journeying from his hometown ("the city of destruction") to the Celestial City (heaven). There is not much subtlety to it. It is pretty much what it is. There is no slippage, no playing around with the theme, no places where the symbolism is ambiguous. John Bunyan, the author, is hitting you over the head every step of the way with the Meaning That You Are Supposed To Be Getting From The Story.
Not all allegories are that crude or simplistic; the Narnia books are also allegory for Christianity. They have a lot more subtlety to them and a lot more nuance, and there's a lot of stuff in there that isn't allegorical, but on the crucial matters there is still a 1:1 correspondence. Aslan is Jesus. He's not like Jesus, he's not a character that has some similarities to Jesus or takes themes from the stories of Jesus, he is Jesus.
Tolkien is not doing allegory. Tolkien is taking the material of his life--his faith, his experiences in WWI, his linguistic and historical knowledge, his favorite books--and using them as the building blocks of his story. The themes and imagery and symbols draw heavily from all of that, the characters and settings draw heavily from all of that, but they are too complex to be allegorical. There's a lot of symbolism! It's not allegory.
So, for example, let's take the Dead Marshes referenced above. Does the experience of walking through this muddy wasteland with corpses all around that are rotting but still look like people draw from Tolkien's WWI battlefield experience of dead bodies in the trenches? Of course it does! but there are also a lot of differences. These dead are not from the current war, they are from a previous one--they are a reminder of old conflicts, of the ways the systems and powers of the current war have not come out of nowhere, there is history here. There is meaning that is not drawn from the Somme. And they are also drawing from literary references Tolkien was familiar with--primarily William Morris. Modern readers don't get the references because we have generally not read The House of the Wolflings, but that doesn't mean that the references aren't there.
So people read Tolkien's insistence that he didn't write allegory, and take that to mean that he's saying there isn't symbolic and thematic references. And that isn't what he meant! And also, we focus so much on the thematic references to WWI and Christianity, and we miss most of the other references, which makes it seem like Tolkien's only drawing on WWI, when he's actually doing something more complex.
Covid's cultural hangover is fascinating because on the one hand no one really wants to think about or remember it, but on the other it does seem to have permanently destroyed the last shreds of (at least) American civic society, in a way which is only becoming harder to ignore as time goes on.
It also started an ongoing health crisis that everyone is in denial of in a way that makes me feel absolutely insane. Long covid has overtaken asthma as the most common chronic illness in children, causing fatigue, depression, anxiety, and more. Disability rates in all ages have skyrocketed and will continue to grow. Every covid infection can cause long-lasting or permanent immune system and BRAIN damage and we're wondering why everyone is sick all the time and has no attention span or critical thinking skills. A study found that driving a car with acute or long covid is as dangerous as driving drunk because your brain is so fucked.
It wasn't just social isolation that's making everyone nuts, it's the wreck-your-brain-disease that everyone is spreading every day like its their full-time job. If you want to fight fascism, wear a mask!
unfun fact: any flu virus can cause this damage. even regular "normal" flu. covid seems to be very efficient at this, but influenza viruses can also cause "long flu" and months or even years of issues. i can't even count the number of people i've seen saying things like "i don't understand, it's been months and i still feel wiped out. it wasn't even covid, it was just flu!" like bruh. there's no "just" flu. flu fucks you up and can kill people too, especially the very young, very old, the chronically ill, and the immunosuppressed.
masks stop every virus, not just covid. wear a fucking mask.
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as âproblematicâ in class and our professor was like, âThatâs cool, but âproblematicâ doesnât really mean anything. It means that the thing youâre describing has a problem, and in and of itself thatâs not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else itâs not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like youâre trying to say that this is bad, but you donât want to say âbad.â Is that right?â
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the âbadâ thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, âIâm uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.â
Once we stopped calling things âproblematicâ and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, âthatâs racistâ or âthatâs misogynisticâ or âew capitalism grossâ out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, âUhhh... Iâm not sure whatâs so bad?â and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I canât help but think of this professor being like, âGood starting point, now letâs get specific.â I think when we have to commit to saying âthatâs ___â it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever weâre claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes itâs art, and it should be full of problems, because thatâs what art is.
Burning the mammoth flank just a lirtle instead of eating it raw gives grug more calorie to think. Grug thinking about color symbolism in silence of the lambs
baratheonpilled
amandla
andulkaphoto
