
blake kathryn

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Janaina Medeiros
sheepfilms

oozey mess
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

Product Placement
Xuebing Du

izzy's playlists!
noise dept.

ellievsbear
occasionally subtle
Peter Solarz
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Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER

JBB: An Artblog!
h
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@thatlittlebluehead
what kind of self-drag is this
Me: is this job really worth it????
My bills:
Shoutout to any trans friends that’ll be misgendered by family during this holiday season. You’re strong and you’ll get through this. I love you and wish you the best.
Tony: We need you to distract these agents. Bucky: Right. Tony: What are you going to do? Bucky: I’m gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them. Steve: Please don’t. Bucky: [sigh] Fine.
Sometimes I’m like “ancient greek plays are so old, how am i going to relate to the characters?” but then
Dear Men Writers
Lesser known facts when writing women:
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
Yes to all of this. But also:
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. No. If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible
^^^This though
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. We become squinty.
Some things for writing western historical women:
Hoop skirts are made of flexible wire. They squish. That is how you get through doorways wearing one: pretty easily. You sit down in them by perching on the end of the chair and letting them spread out to either side- and sometimes they can spread pretty far.
It takes 15 minutes, max, to lace one’s own corset if one is inexperienced. A woman who knows what she’s doing can get it laced in 5 minutes or less. You do not have to have a lady’s maid to do it and women from all walks of life wore corsets (and earlier, stays) to provide breast support, posture correction, and a solid base for the many waistbands of their petticoats so they didn’t dig into the woman’s waist. Yes, even maids. Yes, even farmer’s wives. Factory workers, too. They were as ubiquitous as bras are today.
Those elaborate Georgian or 1830s or 1870s updos are mostly not the woman’s own hair in like 99% of cases. Hairpieces and wigs are not new at all.
Women (though of course not all women all the time) have pretty much always worn makeup. During the 19th century there was a vast conspiracy where we all pretended respectable women didn’t wear makeup. Respectable women definitely wore makeup.
The exception to the pulling out one pin rule is a hair comb/fork/stick, if the woman in question is really good at putting her hair up with it. And even then, it might not cascade so much as uncurl slowly from whatever twist configuration it was in.
Speaking of pins, we are almost always wearing more of them in our hair than you’d expect. Hairpins before the 1920s were longer, thinner, flatter, wider spaced, and generally 200% more effective at holding up long hair than bobby pins. Also better for picking locks, which is where the “picking a lock with a hairpin” trope comes from and why it doesn’t work as well nowadays- the pin has to be flat and bobby pins have those little plastic things on the ends.
The first mascara was a powder you mixed with water and put on your eyelashes with a little toothbrush thing. It was invented in the early 1900s and I’m sure for a while we all pretended respectable women didn’t wear it. Before that, women darkened their eyelashes with oil and sometimes used an open safety pin to separate them. Statistics on eye injuries from the latter practice are not known.
Most women did not shave their armpits and legs, much less their pubic areas, until the early 1900s. I don’t give a flying fuck if that makes you uncomfortable.
me: I should do laundry
my brain: you should die
me: touché
The Skywalker Family™ Beginner’s Guide to Dating in a Galaxy Far Far Away Vol. 1
Order your copy now!
whenever a scifi or fantasy series establishes any characters as species with exceptionally disparate lifespans there is ALWAYS going to be that one piece of sequential fanart with no dialogue that just shows the group getting smaller and smaller until it’s just the resident pseudo-immortal sitting all alone and it’s so predictable but it still gets you every fuckening time you see it
it is a general thing. i have seen this done to star trek, star wars, marvel, dc, pokemon, the adventure zone, lord of the rings, steven universe, danny phantom, undertale, mass effect, dragon age, at least a dozen animes i never heard of, and plenty others that i wouldn’t even know what they were from.
your fandom isn’t special. literally everyone does this.
My fucking hero forever.
Forever my queen
midichlorians are GOOD worldbuilding and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise
I’ll fight with you, because they make perfect sense. They’re simply the vessels by with the connection happens! The biologically-variable amount then makes sense of varying strong/direct connection (in addition to personality, training, and such)!
There is nothing wrong with the midichlorians and I honestly never understand the complaints. The Force itself is still a mystical energy field… the midichlorians are, again, just the vessel by with the Force binds everything together, in a literal sense, and then you have the metaphysical sense by which a Force user connects to both the Force and, in turn, the world around them.
It’s also the only way the PT Jedi could exist in such a highly structured organization in a galaxy so large. You’d have to have a relatively easy, efficient way to test children that provided a suitable time frame for them to be be located, approached, and inducted into the Order within the age restrictions of the Order.
Plot device? Yes. Stupid? No. Lucas thoroughly thought that one through.
Midichlorians are as good or better than magic swords explained with plasma and crystals. They also give the opportunity to write specialized Jedi medicine which is one of my favorite things. Jedi are weird biomes!
hayden christensen better bring his melodramatic force ghost anakin ass back for episode 9
The worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses
no witnesses if youre bad enough at parallel parking
A Wild Snorlax Blocks Your Path
finally
me dad’s a muggle
mam’s a witch
bitofanastyshockforhimwhenhefoundout