I don't like it

I realized the angry autistic would make for an awesome blog name so here we are. I am an angry autistic, here to share my anger with you.

[poptropicaofficial]

[the-angry-autistic]

(For context: I am a white, queer and trans, autistic, dissociative, homeless survivor of aristocratic child trafficking)

Lately I've been noticing the phrase "public safety" written on stuff to mean police, "security" guard, etc. and I feel horror every time because I have been so dehumanized here (in the United States), I know to the core of my being that the phrase "public" does not include me. In fact, I am, to the core, considered a threat to "public safety" because in this Orwellian nightmare state, those who truly value the people are demonized completely. Of course, most people who demonize me don't think it's because I am hyper compassionate and care about everybody. They think it's because I am poor, counterculture and unhappy. But that is what people who care to the degree that I do usually are.

This society is sick far beyond most anyone's comprehension and to maintain the status quo is to commit atrocity, no matter how little one may truly be responsible for their ignorance and/or compliance.

I'm getting scrambled so I need to leave this here. These are just some thoughts. I'm in an outrageously intense space of integration and we just returned to an area where people treat us worse than they did where we were before, so shit's pretty miserable right now.

[passionfruitandvelvet]

“Teaching children that they cannot trust their own ability to think, feel, and decide their own lives, and threatening them with something as fearful as hell if they do trust themselves, is an attempted murder of the essential self in an ever-so-quiet form, and Fundamentalist Christianity had unapologetically tried to kill that part of me.”

— “A Personal Exodus” by Ann Wilcox, from Women Beyond Belief: Discovering Life Without Religion (edited by Karen L. Garst, PhD)

[the-angry-autistic]

In reading about Linden Cameron, I'm stuck on the part where his mother said "Why didn't they tase him?"

Where is the dignity for us... Where is the respect... Why didn't they tase him... Fuck that.

[engelfire]

[argumate]

there’s a ton of shit you can get in life if you’re willing to submit yourself to the mortifying horror of asking for it.

[physticuffs]

me: can i take this exam…a different time? prof: sure me, crying on the inside from the effort of asking: thanks!

[the-angry-autistic]

Tw: anti-homeless violence

As someone who's been homeless a long time, I can testify that this is some real shit. Now, genuinely terrible things can happen to a person by asking for help. A couple years ago, I witnessed the aftermath of a murder committed by a neighbor during one of my stints indoors. Apparently, a homeless guy asked him for a blanket so he beat him to death like it was simply the Thing to Do. I'm not sure it was ever even in the news, but I'll never forget. However, to the best of my ability, I have not allowed it and other such horrors to stop me from asking for help when I need to and I eat every day because of it. Most of the time, people aren't particularly receptive, but every day is full of blessings nonetheless. Homeless or not, I encourage people to both acknowledge the reality of human violence against those in need and build the strength necessary to advocate for oneself anyway.

[valtsv]

you'd think that demons would have a lot more sympathy for the virgin sacrifices and a lot less for the guy holding both of them captive against their will

[valtsv]

guy wearing a hooded robe and holding a tome of ancient magic: o foul demon, i have summoned you here to -

the demon, walking straight past the sacrifice and towards the guy who summoned them with murderous intent: is this guy bothering you queen?

[readerofthewilderwest]

'i have summoned you demon!'  'uh no you haven't. i don't see you bleeding out in the middle of the summoning circle'  'then... then why are you here?'  'SHE summoned me.'

@the-knights-who-say-book​ how could you leave this gem in the tags???

[warriorfaeriequeen]

@spiritspodcast

[the-angry-autistic]

As an Sra survivor, I must say, as triggering as this is, I can't help but appreciate.

[anxietyproblem]

[female-twink-deactivated2021032]

Also instead of “problem behaviour” call it “distressed behaviour” for a more accurate picture of what the person is actually facing

[metapianycist]

image: tweet “How about instead of the phrase ‘attention seeking,’ you use the term ‘support seeking’ and see how it changes your response to people talking about their mental health.”

[the-angry-autistic]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[divinebisexualgoddess]

It’s okay to explicitly call yourself bisexual. Bisexual isn’t a bad word.

[the-angry-autistic]

I am a non-binary dissociative and my system often finds itself divided on this issue. Depending on the alter(s) we're in, we usually say we are bi, pan or queer. My current feeling as the alter I am (so not speaking for everyone inside, just me) is that it's okay if people identify as bi, so long as they make space for non-binary people to feel uncomfortable with that. I personally am uncomfortable with the word bisexual, but as long as bi-identified people can make space for that, I don't mind making space for them. I hope that makes sense and isn't taken offensively. I definitely don't mean to blow up the positivity here. I just felt moved to share my thoughts. I am speaking out of love for everyone here.

[traumasurvivors]

You are not a bad person if you chose not to report. I am so tired of hearing people say, “if you don’t report, it’s on you if they do it to someone else.” 

No, it is absolutely not. 

It is on the person doing it. 

You are valid, and what you decide to do is up to you. Whether that is reporting now, later on, or never at all. 

[the-angry-autistic]

Preach

[autismtypes]

Autism Type #1881

Symmetrical autism

[the-angry-autistic]

I got the so asymmetrical it comes back around to symmetry type. My autism smashes all them dualities.

[traumadrauma]

hey y’all wanna talk about a lesser talked about trauma effect?

loss of autonomy.

not knowing how to do anything without explicit permission or instruction.

feeling like you’ll get in trouble if you do anything on your own will.

waiting until you’re given permission to do so much as eat.

not feeling like your body is your own.

if you experience this you aren’t broken or alone. you were abused and traumatized and conditioned to be like this. remember you belong to nobody but yourself. you are and will be okay.

[the-angry-autistic]

Torture-based mind control survivor here, in deep gratitude for this post.

[everythingstarstuff]

[the-angry-autistic]

We haven't been able to post much cause the homeless life is all-consuming, but we want anyone reading this to know we are still here and trying to keep reaching out. We've actually had a huge integration breakthrough, one so monumental we're probably going to have to do a video series around it, but we'll try to post here about it too when we can.

[the-angry-autistic]

The game we play is being fucked with and we might have to quit. If we did, I believe it would be permanent. I am really sad right now.

[the-angry-autistic]

We ended up quitting the game and it was the right thing to do but we have been dealing with way too much loss lately. So much inner child stuff is being let go of at once within the system as Rose/Sy integrates and it hurts so bad.

[the-angry-autistic]

People have been so abusive and crazy and I feel like my soul is being ripped out. I don't know how to cope with this much violence with this little sleep and this much travelling. It's ripping my heart out every day.

[catnippackets]

return of the happy stim

[the-angry-autistic]

Gotta keep things somewhat positive on here