Title got lost in the Void

they/them | Aro and Queer | You can call me Leo

[the-aro-linguist]

proshippers dni

[possessable]

aspec identities aren't identities i guess. a lack of attraction isn't an identity in itself it's an absence that can be filled i guess. aspec identities and interpretations are the lowest tier of importance, like a blank canvas that can be painted over with something more valuable: romance and sex. did you know that you can complain about anyone who thinks of characters as "just" friends and it's well within your right, to say that platonic interpretations are boring, but if you complain about the way that shipping is frequently posited as the only valuable lens through which to interpret a relationship because "just" friendship isn't enough, or if you complain about how romantic/sexual relationships are considered automatically more deep and meaningful than mere friendship, then that's annoying. did you know that several times i've tried to propose aspec headcanons and i've been dismissed because there's no such thing as "proof" that a character is aspec because an absence doesn't count as an identity. an absence can be filled. did you know every conversation is about romance and sex and i can never participate. did you know romance and sex are the heart of the human experience. did you know it's all just for fun. why are you complaining? did you know it's just for fun, but not for you, because you don't count, because you aren't anything, because what you propose is a blank canvas that can be painted over, an absence that can be filled

[raavenb2619]

[This meeting could have been an email voice]: This romcom should have been a horror movie

[thedaygoesupinflames]

alloromantic's i'm holding out my hand, you are allowed to be romantically non-coforming, it's allowed, you do not have to follow society's view of romance, you are allowed to make something for yourself, pull fantasy views of romance apart at the seams and stitch the pieces back together into a new shape, you're allowed, please, i'm begging, you'll be happier when you do

[arotechno]

as much as i'm a big proponent of doing whatever you want forever and playing with toys and having fun, god does fandom piss me off. i hate that the concept of not yucking someone's yum has made people feel like fandom culture should be immune to criticism, or that caring about the actual source material makes you a lame cringe annoying pretentious buzzkill (which i am, but that's not why)

i'd like to think that even when i'm being silly and writing self-indulgent fics and whatnot i'm still grounding that work in some reasonable interpretation of canon. but then you have people who just... seem to miss the entire thematic and narrative purpose of the source material? and that's how you end up with these traveling fandoms that cannibalize a story for whatever scraps of yaoi bait they can find before getting bored and moving on to the next thing.

"let people enjoy things" well i enjoy having media literacy. i enjoy analyzing the actual source material. i'm not gonna come into your house and personally dunk on you for shipping your ridiculous milquetoast crossover yaoi instead of engaging honestly with a story that deliberately has no romance in it, but i am gonna sit in my own house and complain that you're annoying. and if you don't like being called out for the way you talk about aromantic people in fandom then either grow up and change, or practice what you preach and "don't like, don't read." <3

[molsno]

I really wish people would care about aro/ace trans girls. being subjected to transmisogyny is already isolating enough but as soon as the few people who might have been interested in getting closer with you realize that doing so means they have to make active attempts to recontextualize how they think of closeness and intimacy—that they can't rely on their preconceived notions of "platonic friend" or "romantic/sexual partner"—they pretty much always give up and try to sort you into one of those categories. almost every aro/ace trans girl I've ever met has suffered from extreme loneliness. it doesn't have to be this way. we deserve better

[foenixed]

"Why do aros/aces get so defensive about people shipping aroace characters" I don't know maybe it has something to do with the fact a third of people believing asexuality can be cured and asexuals being as likely to experience conversion therapy as gay people? Maybe the ever presence of the idea that aro/ace people can be cured by therapy or meeting the right person makes people react negatively to that idea being projected onto one of the few pieces of representation they have? Just a thought.

[hunny--hunny]

if you think that a character being non-binary automatically means that their gender is up for interpretation instead of them just being non-binary then congratulations ! you're an exorsexist.

[hunny--hunny]

if you think that a character being aro/ace/aspec automatically means that their attraction is up for interpretation instead of them just being aspec, then congratulations! you're an aphobe.

[infiniteorangethethird]

anyone else feeling rather... annoyed at the way ppl have come to define and use queerplatonic and qprs? So many times I see ppl talk abt qprs saying they're "friendship but Deeper" or "a relationship strictly between friendship and romance" or "essentially romance lite/romance for aromantics" and like. A qpr definitely can be all that if the participants want that, but to say that this is THE definition of queerplatonic is actually going directly against the very goal for which the term was created. Queerplatonic was supposed to give us a word to be able to talk about relationships that don't fit neatly into the "romantic" and "platonic" boxes, whilst also deconstructing the relationship hierarchy and the idea that friendships are fundamentally lesser than romantic relationships. So can we please stop using qprs as a way to once again make friendships seem like a lesser form of relationship and to reinforce the relationship hierarchy? Please?

Afaik the original definition of a qpr was smth along the lines of "a relationship that doesn't fit the traditional boundaries of a friendship". By that definition? A loveless friendship would be a qpr. A "friendship" between two aplatonics would be a qpr. A friendship where they specifically feel less emotionally connected to one another than is expected of a "normal" friendship would be a qpr. Just like how queerness isn't fundamentally about love, queerplatonicism, i.e. queering the platonic, isn't fundamentally about "putting more love" into friendships. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.

[mercury-and-scribbles]

19.7.2026

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[0x-hazel]

you should be able to designate multiple people

[benjaminbadger]

I think there's some medias that you just cannot meaningfully engage with if your main priority is shipping

[benjaminbadger]

(Tired aroace voice, metaphorical cigarette in hand) You don't have to make them kiss... they don't always have to kiss...

[bear-ylee-stable]

So many other kinds of human connection get put to the wayside with our current culture’s obsession with romantic love.

Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to ship romance but it doesn’t have to be the only type of relationship we celebrate in media, fandom space included.

[benjaminbadger]

[princessoftheturtles]

I need more aroallo representation and fanfiction about it

Ugh

I need more people to be cool about QPR and fuck buddies

[stephexmachina]

it's just so crazy how friendships between women r devalued so much that anytime two women in media r close friends u end up w a camp of people who go "i prefer them as platonic friends (so i can more easily ignore the significance of their bond)" & another camp that goes "they aren't friends they're girlfriends (bc i cannot fathom their friendship having any meaning or significance)" it's impossible for these people to truly care about women's inner lives & complexities. meanwhile they r writing veritable essays abt the life-changing ride-or-die bond between two fictional men who r somehow coworkers & best friends & soulmates & confidantes & madly in love w each other & divorced &—

[arowitharrows]

as an aro I always have a little ball of rage inside of me and it wants to devour the world. just so you're aware

[i-am-bic]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

[lemonscribs]

Aromantic pride shark 🥝💚