Welcome, welcome.

[charlesoberonn]

The song “Jolene” but the singer never stops describing Jolene, going into more and more details and getting more and more disturbing until you’re not sure what Jolene is except that you’re afraid of her.

[maenadmars]

♪ your teeth are sharp / your mouth agape your claws rend flesh / there’s no escape from the judgement of the Eldritch One, Jolene ♪

[smalltall]

He screams about you in his sleep and when he wakes, does naught but weep in terror, of the one they call Jolene

[butts-for-days]

blackening the summer skies

with burning wings and countless eyes

we tremble at the sight of you, Jolene

[mysunfreckle]

We can’t begin to understand Your notice marks us like a brand Have mercy on these mortal souls, Jolene Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene… I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

[doyoulikebasghetti]

I found your name inside a tome,

An endless, maddened, screaming poem,

The runes began to grow a shimmering green.

You rose then from the hungry deep,

A thousand years of dreamless sleep,

As I spoke aloud a single word: Jolene

[markv5]

Большие кошки тоже любят коробки.

[artemisbarnowl]

“big kitties also love boxes”

[tooiconic]

oh my god he is so happpy

[princesstigerbelle]

I love cats so much

[princesstigerbelle]

Here’s some more big cats in boxes

[shaeeldera]

That last one isn’t a big cat in a box. It’s clearly a giraffe. Can’t you read?

[powerfulwizard]

Me: Hi

Bisexual character written by a straight person: Oh! I don’t like labels. I don’t like to pick sides. I just like people. I like to shop at two different grocery stores. I like to eat at Burger King and McDonalds, if you know what I mean. Let’s just say I wear two different socks. I prefer ketchup AND mustard on my hamburgers. I’m just gonna say that I own two different pairs of underwear. I don’t want to be like one of those people, but how about I just say that I like to drink my coffee from two different mugs?

[wang--fire]

Bi person irl:

[theoffensivemomma]

[paintmeahero]

biderman

[jessaotp]

rebloging for Bi-der man

[transmedicalist56]

reblog ing for biderman only

[bible-of-fun]

[wolverinequeen]

I asked my boyfriend in Canada once, how he deals with polar bears because I was curious about what to do and he was like, just be calm, let them know you’re there, and give them space and they’ll usually just go away. 

[ethanredotter]

In Finland on the other hand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7_pVrIshxA

[wolverinequeen]

Lmao Finland Man ain’t taking shit from bears.

[official-sachsen-anhalt]

PERRrrRrrRrKELE

[ask-finny]

((Two kinds of people))

[mitski-miyawakis]

finnish man: PERRRRKELE!

finnish bear: what the actual fuck- i’m out!

[1st-1]

If you’re not amazed by the stars on a clear night then we won’t work.

[ltc-kilgore-deactivated20181027]

Mr. Bond, that’s a very nice deck, in fact last expansion it would have been night unbeatable. Such a shame it’s utterly useless now

[sigardaa]

[pepperstrawberry]

delicious… X3

[hopelessly-vorthosian]

Can’t… not… reblog…

They are so good. I am so hyped for the Simic ones in a few months.

[vorthosjay]

These are so fantastic.

[pictures-of-dogs]

disappointment

[bears-for-all]

me when i see my worthless straight son

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

GOTTA SMASH THAT MOTHER FUCKIN RESEARCH BUTTON

[m4a1-shermayne]

kill yourself consolefag 

[benracer]

*laughs at tiger H1 with my T29*

[m4a1-shermayne]

“my 40 dollar premium 6.7 vehicle kills your 5.7 researchable”

you also need to off yourself

[benracer]

Yes. I realize I should have reworded myself.

I laught in my T34

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

Theres like, 5 T-34s and it takes the one in rank IV to match the BR of the H1

[m4a1-shermayne]

The dash makes a difference retard, the T34 is the American Heavy at 6.7. T-34s are Russian. 

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

Im gonna nut in your mouth if you dont shut up so you’ll drown

[m4a1-shermayne]

read a book retard

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

Jokes on you i cant fucking read

[m4a1-shermayne]

that’s why you were in the army huh

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

Oh please, if i was brain dead i would’ve been a marine

[brvkndaisy]

*opens tumblr in public* whoopss titties

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[kiranovember]

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

[simonalkenmayer]

This post has evolved.

[basalt-dnd]

A few joking D&D achievements. 

( All images used are No-Attribution Required stock images. )

[basalt-dnd]

Forgot these two.

[basalt-dnd]

More fake achievements.

[basalt-dnd]

Yet more fake achievements.

[basalt-dnd]

More!

[basalt-dnd]

So… I heard people wanted more of these?

[basalt-dnd]

I somehow managed to royally screw up the text, but hopefully these still come in handy.

[drjjjfaustus]

@kitsapphiri @volantamasis and @redridesagain

[basalt-dnd]

More D&D Achievements (in a separate post, because the other one was getting really long). 

Edit: Added a bunch more requested ones.

[tabootasaur]

Some fake D&D achievements for everyone’s favorite thing, crits! I was super inspired by @basalt-dnd and their set of fake achievements so I made some of my own. My players look forwards to and also dread finding them all ;3c

[shencomix]

[just-bears-here]

LOG

[magusofthefork]