the cereal simp

do it for shits and giggles | 19 | genetics lover | generally uncreative | yes I am quite sane why do you ask

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[twofingerswhiskey]

people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time

[witchwardian]

I've seen enough.

[niksfake]

so my tumblr app is doing this fun thing where it just shows me empty posts sometimes, because why not. and this one just really worked for me.

[the-everything-remover]

­

[charlesoberonn]

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

[charlesoberonn]

I apologize.

[noroquian]

[demareth]

insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it

[charlesoberonn]

This one?

[schwazombie]

[ruffboi-mags]

Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.

[dzamie]

I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"

[nebulous-nebuli]

[sour-charity]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[thememedaddy]

[dandeland]

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

[spacefinch]

THEN PERISH

Was anyone going to tell me, or….

It’s free real estate

I love you. (Here’s the latest news)

Live slug reaction

__ ? In my __? It’s more likely than you think.

And some highlights from the notes:

Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does.

THIS PERSON?!

the WHAT

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen it

[weaselle]

[icarus-suraki]

[transcyberism]

I actually think it's so funny that the way a hormonal IUD works is that it just lies to your uterus and fools it into believing it's pregnant. but instead of a fetus there's just a little plastic doodad in there. I'm pregnant and it's The Contraption.

[transcyberism]

my dumbass uterus: "man this thing has been cooking for like 5 years I bet it's gonna be the most awesome baby of all time"

my IUD: still just a plastic thingamajig

[ajarofpickledtears]

[official-pussy-posts-2]

Official Gaslighting Your Uterus Post

[kratt09]

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

[kratt09]

thats not the word I meant to use

[coldspicyy]

None of these words are in the bible.

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

au contraire, mon ami

[transarsonist]

dont weird pussy, that's woke stale. penis absolute.

[thedeadskincellsonyourpillow]

this website sometimes

[denbecygnari]

[official-pussy-posts-2]

Official Pussy Post

[dozydawn]

cat’s eye emerald

[athena-cat-wizard-official]

advil (ibuprofen) 200mg liquid capsule

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[victusinveritas]

[minotauri]

ocean sounds for those of you who need it

[snakepyre]

thanks i made a little painting about it

[punkitt-is-here]

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

[totally-cis-offical]

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

[moon-of-curses]

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[kabber]