My Longship Brings All The Vikings To The Yard

And They're Like, Are You From Asgard?

[bonesbeetle]

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

[anxeious]

playing hard to want

[dogpuppy]

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[c3rvida3]

"I hate when the skeletons on decorations aren't anatomically accurate." A Halloween skeleton isn't the same as what's inside you, idiot. It's different. A Halloween skeleton is, like. A guy or something. It's an animal.

[c3rvida3]

If Halloween skeletons had bones like ours instead of hollow bones like that of a bird, they wouldn't be able to play their ribcages like xylophones. You sound so fucking uneducated right now.

[dogpuppy]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

ill spend my twenties investigating the healing properties of salt i dont know about you guys

[protectspock]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

excuse me

[protectspock]

Sorry op. That's my friend the Salt Vampire from the Star Trek episode "The Man Trap" which first aired in 1966. Blessings be upon you.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

its just i dont feel blessed by its presence is all. sending love your way

[cumdumpstiel]

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

[legallybrunettedotcom]

[inbabylontheywept]

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

[angelicguy]

hard day? dont worry. i just doordashed you a big angry live bug in a really thin box.

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[shakespearesdaughters]

Franz Kafka diary

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[dogpuppy]

[vintrkraka]

the worst part of christmas is that santa’s elves are only called that because they’re gnomes, which are a dwarven culture known for their use of the phrygian cap and their republican rejection of monarchy, and dwarves, also referred to as svartálfar, are a species of elvenid within the elf-clade. but nobody talks about this, because elf cladistics aren’t generally relevant to christmas stories and children can hardly be expected to grasp the nuances of extrahominid taxonomy anyways.

[vintrkraka]

the second worst part of christmas is the strong as fuck ice mummy

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[headspace-hotel]

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice