The Laziest Of Learners

Ex-Mormon bi trans catgirl, interested in too many things for my tiny little brain.

[byjove]

top 10 jobs for serial killers:

cop

member of any branch of the military (often combined with some of these other jobs)

‘polite family man’

truck driver

nurse (gerontology and neonatal specialties especially)

construction/contracting

doctor (gerontology and surgical specialties especially)

anything in the animal agriculture field (particularly pig farming)

preacher (Protestant evangelical especially)

account

[byjove]

serial killer career path gaining momentum: YouTuber

serial killer career path loosing popularity: butcher

[byjove]

I don’t know why butchers aren’t chasing people around with their butcher knives in bloody aprons anymore but that isn’t a major concern in 2026. Maybe modern hairnets have a soothing effect.

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey, wow, is this just like a funny fictional observation or is it real data?

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised either way

[byjove]

based on vibes and major headlines but I tried looking up the statistical reality

5/12 is pretty good based on stereotypes alone

[the-lax-disciple]

WHAT? I‘m learning to be a professional aircraft machinist

[dystopianroach]

“I could never be an entomologist. bugs creep me out” sucks to suck because I’m a real-life pokemon trainer. like look at these and tell me they’re not pokemon

like are you serious. have fun doing whatever you’re doing ill be at the arthropod zoo… also known as the motherfucking pokemon center

[the-lax-disciple]

The idea for pokémon actually came from a popular children’s past time from the childhood of Tajiri Satoshi, the creator of Pokémon. He and his friends would go out into the woods around his home town and collect bugs. He created Pokémon so that even urban kids could enjoy hunting bugs like he had done.

So yes. These bugs ARE real life Pokemon

[what-even-is-thiss]

There’s definitions of things but there’s often parts of a thing that exist on the edge of that definition but everyone knows is still that thing. Definitions are useful but at the end of the day you know a thing when you see it. You know that a horse is not a chair and that a 90s inflatable chair is a chair and that a table is not a chair even if someone is sitting on it. You know a chair when you see it. A beanbag both is and is not a type of chair and this is a comfortable truth.

But anyways that’s also kind of how gender works.

[the-lax-disciple]

To quote an ancient Polish dictionary: „Horse: everyone knows what a horse is“

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[lorienlady]

In the UK these are also Marigolds, but I don’t think anyone is going to confuse them for any of the flowers in the above thread

[peachesmendes-deactivated201903]

“don’t double text”

i will deadass send you ten messages in a row on completely different topics

[the-lax-disciple]

„To defeat capitalism, you have to understand it first“

- Me, after playing Monopoly for the first time and winning -

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

[the-lax-disciple]

Obviously I‘m chasing peace, why would I be chasing Bi erasure?

Oh

[fur-bies-deactivated20180106]

i let the furby skins soak in fabric softener after i washed them and my sis found them and sent me:

and i have never laughed so hard x’D

[aangel-biites]

@deadandwalking

[homunculus-argument]

"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.

And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.

The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.

[the-lax-disciple]

I have never heard about the concept of a problematic height gap. Also I‘m quite a tall, large person and I couldn’t stop a Leopard 2A7 if I wanted to. Also I know one or two short people who are in the height range to be able to bite me in the nuts. And no, not anyone of them has ever tried that. Wtf are you talking about?

[the-lax-disciple]

Okay, eww

I guess my eyes have been opened. Gods, how I wish I could close them again.

[homunculus-argument]

War. Whores. Fish. Fear.

Long ago, the four mongers lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the warmongers attacked.

[the-lax-disciple]

Who would’ve seen that coming?

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine if trauma could be transferred instead of just multiplying. Being able to heal yourself by returning the trauma to sender. Feeling yourself getting mentally and physically better by traumatising your parents right back.

Cure your PTSD in one afternoon with this one simple trick: Chase your dad around the house with an axe.

[the-lax-disciple]

Instructions unclear. When my father chased me around the house with an axe he went into the neighboring labyrinth and froze to death. Who should I chase around the house with an axe now?

[homunculus-argument]

"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.

And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.

The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.

[the-lax-disciple]

I have never heard about the concept of a problematic height gap. Also I‘m quite a tall, large person and I couldn’t stop a Leopard 2A7 if I wanted to. Also I know one or two short people who are in the height range to be able to bite me in the nuts. And no, not anyone of them has ever tried that. Wtf are you talking about?

[vethyourhalflingmother]

my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:

he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year

[fromwolfsandgods]

Chaotic good

[swordshapedleaves]

NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn’t just mean cheeky!

[dragkingandreweldritch]

this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work

malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism

[dracogotgame]

Always reblog for malicious compliance

[findingfeather]

sometimes following the letter of the law works even better than ignoring it.

[ltleflrt]

In Utah the new book banning laws apply to the bible, and there’s already someone petitioning to get it removed from schools and libraries.

[hulking-godless-child-beast]

I hope no English teacher ever puts up with “banning pronouns” for even a moment

[gehayi]

Update: The Utah book ban has, in fact, resulted in the Bible being banned in elementary and middle schools in Davis County, and high schoolers now only have limited access to the King James Version, due to “vulgarity and violence.” 

Now the Book of Mormon is under consideration for a ban as well. The parent who complained said that it was very violent.

[the-lax-disciple]

Can confirm. The Book of Mormon is incredibly violent. There are rivers running red from the blood of thousands killed in battles. One of the „good guys“ pays his respects to his employer by hacking off the arms of robbers trying to steal the employer‘s herds. Millions die in an apocalypse, women and children are burned alive in a big fiery pit and god‘s representative on earth makes this a lesson about why not saving them is actually god’s will.

[sotoncommunists]

Lessons from Minnesota helped us beat the heat: we were inspired by thoughts of smashing ICE.

From the experience of Minnesota, it is clear that we can’t rely on platitudes about “love”. We must physically organise against those who seek to terrorise and divide the working class.

Read about it on communist.red:

communist.red/rcp-statement-smash-the-right-down-with-all-the-racists-warmongers-and-billionaires

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

was thinking about how the concept of god is usually characterized as male (thanks patriarchy) and i came up with a question: in christian theology,

does "God" have a penis?

surely the catholic church made some sort of ruling on this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

stop derailing with Jesus's foreskin, this post is about God's genitals ONLY

[myfairkatiecat]

Hi, Catholic here—the only part of the holy trinity with a human body is the Son (Jesus) so yes, but also God the Father doesn’t have a human body so no, but the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all the same being as well so yes, but all humans including women are created in the image of God so hypothetically He has everything else too. Hope this helps.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thank you it did not!

[the-lax-disciple]

If it helps, in Mormon theology God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all separate physical (the Spirit doesn’t have a body) entities acting as one Godhood. And yes they have penises, though as far as I know and as was told to me by seminary, exalted beings like God and Jesus don’t have blood, so penises yes, but not functional.

[theconcealedweapon]

This is what's so fucked up about "nothing that requires the labor of others is a human right".

The labor is already being done under capitalism. The laborers are already being underpaid under capitalism.

When you propose removing the greedy profiteers and paying the workers a reasonable wage, people call that "slavery" while they have no problem with the current system.

They're not even trying to make sense.

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[spiritcornelia]

If you're cold, they're cold; let vampires into your home.

[the-lax-disciple]

This post was fact checked by the We-Are-Definitely-Not-Vampires-Association and has been deemed 100% factual.