let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
macklin celebrini has autism
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The Stonewall Inn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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RMH
Kiana Khansmith
almost home
Product Placement
blake kathryn
Discoholic 🪩
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
🪼
sheepfilms
occasionally subtle
★
bliss lane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom
seen from Ukraine
seen from Malaysia
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from Vietnam
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from Canada
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seen from Germany
seen from United States
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@the-musomaniac
pythagoras: don't overfill your cup, everyone must have an equal amount, must we recount what happened last time someone got greedy
me, already overfilling my cup ready to shotgun the wine coming out the bottom: shut up, old man
you're right and you should say it, re-release the greedy cup to encourage debauchery this time around.
music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all
it's official!
I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea
FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!
and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section.
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.
that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for
oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess.
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!
wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds?
I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also…
THE WRENCH!
now that is a fucking slogan
one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.
sex toy or vulcan starship?
OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN!
this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.
In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing
found another tool! it’s scissors this time.
I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design
sometimes all I can say is “what”
is this vaporwave?
I don’t think that’s how that works
your strawberries will never be safe
finally, the first robot that can eat a flan!
another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in!
(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)
finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards!
jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself
Wow, are you sure that adds anything useful?
I’m not here to be useful, I’m here for my own entertainment. Part of that is thinking about furry porn.
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album
and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details
(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it
by the way it's fine to like sexual content just for the sake of it. "we can't ban porn because other stuff will get banned" "sometimes nude art has value" "the government will classify queer people as sexual" this is all true but it's okay to just like porn. its okay to not want porn to be banned because you like it.
🛸 Websites I like to go on when I'm overwhelmed:
★ neopets wearables try-on ☆ free online music maker ★ fishville simulator ☆ digital pop its ★ papa's games on coolmathgames ☆ background noises for focus ★ old web design museum ☆ online game pony town ★ poptropica ☆ classic animal jam ★ flash transformers games ☆ flash monster high games ★ flash mlp games ☆ flash bratz games ★ flash barbie games ☆ a lot of free online games ★ kid pix studio game ☆ more free online games ★ neopets resources ☆ kirby games ★ online retro games ☆ kirby anime ★ death note ☆ casual desktop game on steam ★ ftp steam games ☆ solitaire ★ puzzle games ☆ color memory game ★ where to watch cartoons (vpn recommended) ☆ more cartoons ★ indie games website ☆ kandi website tutorials and patterns ★ kandi video tutorials
Pass the blunt to your followers
man why is any other cola in the world fine but it feels like pepsi goes directly to your colon and starts digging
straight up they carbonate pepsi with the souls of car crash victims
It's Juneteenth!
